Cecil Murphey - Unleash the Writer Within: The Essential Writers Companion

W hy do you want to write? What pushes or compels you to keep on writing even though you receive rejection after rejection?

Those are the two major questions Ive often asked writers at the more than 250 conferences where Ive spoken or taught continuing classes over the past thirty-five years.

The conferees responses vary, but the first ones usually begin with high-sounding tonesas if they want to please me, the teacher, or out of a desire to sound erudite. More than once someone has said, I want to light the way for others to follow.

Another said, I see writing as a high and holy occupation because were committed to save the world from ignorance.

Thats commendableand maybe even truebut I knew those werent the deepest reasons.

I write to make sense of the world, one man insisted.

Sounds profound, I said. Perhaps a little too profound for me.

He added that he had so much chaos in his daily living that writing was one way he could make sense of his life. When I pushed him to explain further, he admitted he had read the statement in a book, liked it, and was satisfied with that as an answer.

A woman at a conference in Tennessee held up a laminated 3 x 5 card she kept in her purse. She said that the words, a quotation from Henry James, inspired her every time she read them. She later mailed me a copy:

To live in the world of creationto get into it and stay in itto frequent it and haunt itto think intensely and fruitfullyto woo combinations and inspirations into being by a depth and continuity of attention and meditationthis is the only thing.

I read the quotation many times before copying it here (with her permission). The only thing? That statement seems extreme, although Im sure some people find the quotation inspirational. The words sound noble and probably inspire others, but they dont do anything for me. Perhaps Im too much of a pragmatist.

To get beyond such lofty language, about five years ago I started opening my lectures this way: Why do you want to write? While you think about your answer, Im going to give you several reasons I write. After that, Ill listen to your responses.

As soon as they focused their attention on me, I said, I write because Im so full of myself, I believe the world is waiting to read my brilliant thoughts.

They laughed, a few nodded, and all seemed to know what I meant. I went on to explain that I also write because Im driven to share my thoughts and insights on life.

Im a needy guy, and out of my need to feel appreciated, valued, and affirmed, I write, I say. Thats as simple and direct as I can put it. Our needs express who we are, what we lack, what we yearn for. All of us feel deficient in some ways.

I make one additional statement that seems to give several conferees the freedom to speak. Writing is one way to compensate for my feelings of inadequacy.

The conferees relax. They no longer need to impress me with lofty statements. Theyre ready to give me gut-level responses.

Sometimes, to push them to think deeper, I add, I write to resolve issues and explore possibilities. At times, its a form of therapy. Ive learned so much from my inward exploring, Ive probably saved half-a-million dollars in therapists fees by being a writer.

They usually laugh again.

Finally, before I allow them to respond, I write one sentence on the board or flip chart:

I write to find out who I am.

Then I wait.

The hands start waving, and they yell out the kind of things I like to hear. From my perspective, they finally speak from deep inside themselves. This is no longer an exam where they have to voice the right answer to please the teacher; they dont have to sound noble, sophisticated, or even spiritual.

Occasionally someone will say, I want to have a book to use as a way to open up a public-speaking career.

Thats certainly a legitimate answer.

Most of them, however, have deeply personal reasons for writing.

I want to share what I know.

I have things to say to enrich others.

Writing broadens my life. The more I write and ponder, one man said, the more I understand human nature, God, and the world in which I live.

Writing satisfies my creative urge.

I just have to do it! one woman yelled. Many times I tell myself Ill never write another word, but within a day or two Im pounding the keyboard again.

Its interesting that to make money rarely appears on their list of reasons.

Why do you write?

I write to find out who I am, is my primary answer. That may not be an obvious reason or one youd yell out in my classes, but think about your reasons. You cant answer me, but you can answer yourself: Why do you write?

* * *

I know a man who often talks of writing novels, but hes been talking that way for at least a decade. Occasionally, he sets aside a Saturday and stays at his computer for one or two hours, but he hasnt produced anything significant.

I know this much about the man: His father wanted to be a writer but wasnt able to carry out his own dream. Is it possible that the son is trying to fulfill the dreams of the now-dead parent?

In his case, that may be behind his desire to write. Some children unconsciously live out the lives of their parents and dont know how to follow their own dreams.

Or perhaps my friend gets close to parts of himself that hes not willing to explore further. If so, I dont think hes conscious of it.

Your rational mind prevents your focusing on the real issuesthe unresolved conflict you dont want to face. Your many activities and the demands of your job provide you with an abundance of excuses for not writing. You decide youre too involved in other, more urgent responsibilities so that writing becomes something I want to do one day.

But someday isnt marked on your appointment calendar.

At one conference, a woman said, I find fulfillment only in writing. And she extolled the virtues of writing hours every day.

That statement felt extreme to me. Im not a therapist or a mind reader, but as I listened, I sensed that she used writing as a means to hide from life. By thrusting her energies into sharp dialog and intricate plots, she doesnt have to look at her otherwise chaotic life. Its an escape from life instead of an entrance into a healthier existence.

She chose the solitary lifeand for years has spent most of her days in front of her computer, even though she has sold only a handful of articles. She is, however, highly active on Facebook, Linked-In, Twitter, and several writers loops.

As I think about her, I assume its her way to avoid participating in lifes issues or to escape from other responsibilities.

That attitude doesnt trouble me, and shes not harming herself, but I believe her life would be richer if she pushed herself to work through her inhibiting issues.

I also have an acquaintance who has been working on one book for twelve years but has never finished it. Im polishing it, hell say, or, Ive just had an idea on how to enhance the plot.

Is it possible he does that so he doesnt need to explain the lack of success in the rest of his life?

The above examples are only conjectures, but I hope youll ponder them as you answer the question for yourself: Why do I want to write?

A therapist-friend said recently, In Los Angeles, every waiter is a writer. He pointed out that would-be screenwriters feel drawn to such places, but he says it may be their way for having an excuse for not growing up. He believes many of them carry inside their heads the romantic image of the starving writer or creative person who doesnt fit into society.

Or do you want to writereally?

I WRITE TO FIND OUT WHO I AM.