Sally Bayley - No Boys Play Here: A Story of Shakespeare and My Familys Missing Men

Contents

William Collins

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First published in Great Britain by William Collins in 2021

Copyright Sally Bayley 2021

Sally Bayley asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

Illustrations by Arizona Smith

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN: 9780008318888

Ebook Edition 2021 ISBN: 9780008318901

Version: 2022-01-05

For my father, Laurence Hill, and his brothers; and for my own brothers, who taught me how to laugh and clown.

Lord, Thou hast given me a cell

Wherein to dwell;

A little house, whose humble roof

Is weather-proof;

Under the sparres of which I lie

Both soft, and drie;

Where Thou my chamber for to ward

Hast set a Guard

Of harmlesse thoughts, to watch and keep

Me, while I sleep.

Robert Herrick, A Thanksgiving to God for his House, taken from A Little Book of Loneliness, compiled by P. Allan, 1926

(Roughly in order of appearance)

In the Shakespearean tradition the characters here play several parts: girls dress as boys and women as men and vice versa, because this is theatres licence.

THE BAYLEYS AND CO:
as strange a family as youll ever see

Sally Bayley: a daughter aged 1216 who sometimes plays at being a boy; cousin to Jessica, who lives in Venice, where merchants set sail with their treasure.

Angela Christine Bayley: her mother; sometimes thought of as Titania, Queen of the Fairies, until the magic wears off.

Diane Elizabeth Bayley: her aunt and The Woman Upstairs who likes to play Man of the House but lets not forget she was once a Jessica too.

Fred Bayley: the Father of Diane and Angela and husband of Grandmother Maze; a tax collector in Lancing-on-Sea.

Laurence Hill: Sallys dad, but Laurie to you; mostly known as Falstaff, but he might, for a night or two, have played Oberon, King of the Fairies, too.

James Hill: her uncle, mainly Falstaff and definitely Scottish, brother to the man they call Laurie.

Rumour: there are many of those in this family.

THE STAFF,
who live beneath stairs

Jessica: the daughter of the house, seen mainly among the servants and rarely around her father; a girl who runs away in trousers bearing a torch.

Lorenzo: Jessicas sweetheart; a nice boy who holds open the window for her.

Edna MayTurner: also known as Maze, and in our house something like a maid; grandmother to Sally and the only one with coins in her purse.

Mr King: the handyman and a hired servant and clown.

Launcelot Gobbo: a gobby servant and clown who works in Jessicas house.

Frank: our slum landlord who is quite frankly a swine.

THE NOSEY NEIGHBOURS

Mrs Green: loves nosey-parking.

Mrs Sturgess: the Queen of parking her nose in other peoples business.

THE BROTHERS,
and youll never know their names

Three Boys: they all take parts whatever is needed to make a good game or a decent play: once there were four, now there are three, and all are related to Sally.

Prince Henry: also known as Hal, soon to be King of England, once he decides to grow up.

Ned Poins: Hals best friend and a courtier; the man who loves to provoke Falstaff.

Falstaff: a fat old man rarely seen without a glass of sherry or a plate of pickled herring, a teller of tales and, in truth, a foster child from the very start.

THE ROYALS,
those with their noses in the air

Henry IV: father of Prince Henry, old and cross; the King of England before his son, Henry V. Before he was king, Henry was known as Bolingbroke, and those who dont like him very much like to remind him of that.

Earl of Westmorland, sometimes called Old: a close ally of King Henry and a good soldier; like everyone else he wants more land.

Richard II: a perpetual boy king; ousted by Henry and no great shakes as a soldier; likes to raise taxes in his spare time; all crown and no substance.

Oberon: King of the Fairies and Titanias fancy man, although she likes to say no to him.

Titania: Queen of the Fairies and the woman in charge of scenery in the woods outside Athens.

THE REBELS:
aka a lot of armour

Harry Hotspur: Hals nemesis and a legendary hero; also known as Sir Henry Percy who fights against the King. But you know that: hes a rebel.

Henry Percy: Hotspurs father and 1st Earl of Northumberland, once loyal to King Henry, but now pretty fed up with the whole thing.

Edmund Mortimer: Hotspurs brother-in-law and Glendowers son-in-law; makes a claim against Henry for the throne; a bit of an upstart so lets not worry too much about him.

Owen Glendower: leader of the Welsh and a fierce warrior; likes his rugby and wants more Wales.

Archibald Douglas, a Scottish Earl: wants more Scotland, likes his porridge, very good with a sword; rumour tells us he was brave.

Wat Tyler: a tiler by trade and leader of the Peasants Revolt; a cheeky chap from Kent with a daughter called Alice and a wife named Doris.

THE QUICKLYS,
who live, squashed between two taverns

Mistress Quickly: a foster mother who keeps a hostel on the other side of town.

Mr Quickly: her husband; you wont hear much from him.

Master Quickly: their son, spoiled, spends a lot of time with his feet on the sofa.

Frankie: a foster child aged seventeen or so, often taken for a boy. No one knows who her father is but you can take a good guess.

Francis, the drawer: the bartender at the Boars Head Tavern who waits upon the King; in Shakespeare this is a small part but in this book it is large.