Douglas Florian - Poem Depot: Aisles of Smiles

DIAL BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS PUBLISHED BY THE PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Group (USA) LLC, 375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014 USA Canada UK Ireland Australia New Zealand India South Africa China penguin.com A PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE COMPANY Copyright 2014 by Douglas Florian Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Florian, Douglas. [Poems.

Selections] Poem Depot : Aisles of Smiles / by Douglas Florian. pages cm. Audience: Ages: 911 Audience: Grades: 4 to 6 An illustrated collection of silly nonsense poems about topics kids care about: talents, avoiding homework, friends and more. Poems. ISBN:978-1-101-62050-2 I. Title.

PS3556.L589P633 2014 811.54dc23 Book design by Sarah Creech
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. Version_1 For our children,
Naomi, Ariel, Raphael, Or, and Anael

Welcome to Poem Depot, With smiles in the aisles. Theres laughs galore Inside this store, And fun that runs for miles. The poems in here Are full of cheer, With whimsy and with wit. Youll laugh so much At jokes and such, Your sides will surely split. Welcome to Poem Depot Relax and stay a while.

When you walk in Youll surely grin, And leave wearing a smile.

The rooster crowed this morning, Its comb a brilliant red. The rooster crowed this morning, And then went back to bed. A friend is a friend, A friend to the end. Shes loyal and faithful and true. A friends always there To help and to care.

Shes honest and always true blue. And when youre in need, Shell come with great speed. If need be shell yell and shell holler. A friend is a friend, A friend to the end. So friend, Can you loan me a dollar?

Some ladybugs are really men. And crickets dont play cricket.

Though they cavort, they dont play sport On lawns or in a thicket. A dragonfly is not a fly. Its not a dragon either. No butter on a butterfly, And bees cannot spell neither. A centipede has not one cent. A weevil does not weave.

And if you dont stop bugging me, Then Ill ask you to leave!

The worst book of all That Ive ever read Annoyed me so much that I fell out of bed. It gave me a headache And made me throw up. It was a disaster, a failure, a flop. My palms started sweating. My poor heart would race. And forty-three times I found Id lost my place.

It rumbled my stomach. It rattled my brain. And surely tomorrow Ill read it again.

A bicycle built for forty-eight: The first persons early. The last persons late. Monday I read a newspaper.

Tuesday a magazine. Wednesday just one article About a Danish queen. Thursday six short stories. Friday four long plays. This weekend I will stay at home, Read peoples palms all day.

I play football with a melon.

I play baseball with a pear. I play Frisbee with a pancake As I toss it through the air. I play Ping-Pong with some soup nuts. I play tennis with my dinner. And though Im told Dont play with food, At least Im getting thinner.

I started to sit, To sit in a chair.

Then suddenly realized, The chair was not there. I started to climb, To climb up the stair. Then suddenly realized, The stair was not there. I started to write, To write down this poem. Then suddenly realized, Id left it at home. Id left it at home on a chair by the stair.

But the chair, and the stair, and the poem were not there.

Sometimes I race a bicycle. Sometimes I drive a car. Sometimes I ride a railroad train And travel very far. Sometimes I drive a motorbike. Im scared of wild animals: Of lions, tigers, bears. Im scared of wild animals: Of lions, tigers, bears.

Im scared of climbing mountains, Or falling off of chairs. Im mortified of monsters, Or each and every ghost. Next Thursday is a science test And that scares me the most.

I want more jokes. I want more fun. I want more candy By the ton.