Steve Armstrong - Weekend with pineapples

WEEKEND WITH PINEAPPLES

Steve Armstrong

It was the weekend before Christmas. Maureen and I were working alone at the electronic shop because everyone else was away for the holidays. It was a boring Saturday morning and most of the smaller shops were closed. In any normal world we would have been closed, too, but our boss was a greedy old bastard who believed in high profits and low wages. I was sitting in front of the computer playing Pinball while Maureen was busy on some social network on her cell phone whilst tucking into a bowl of pineapple chunks.

There werent any people coming into the shop this morning. Apparently they thought we would have had the good sense to stay closed, too. Maureen was wearing her Denim skirt and this sexy red top that showed of her cleavage. She had the most amazing breasts I have ever seen on a woman. Usually I dont like big breasts but on her they looked wonderful because she was kind of chubby, so they kind of fit her.

I was staring at her cleavage wondering how it would be to root her when she looked up from her cell phone screen.

Why do men always want to know how its hanging when they greet other men? she asked.

Has it something to do with the penis or what?

At a certain time during the month she comes out with questions like these. I dont know if its something to do with her period or if women go on heat at certain times. Usually shes quite prudish when it comes to sexual conversations.

Usually a mans penis hangs a little to the left or right, I said. Its quite normal. Havent you seen Bretts penis before?

Brett was her boyfriend and I didnt like him very much. Mainly because he could have sex with her and I couldnt. He was a farmer and therefore he was grossly overweight because of the sheer amounts of meat and vegetables going down his gullet every day. Recently he started planting pineapple trees because he read in some farming magazine how pineapple is going to become the next big dieting aid. Apparently he was testing the theory out on Maureen first. She was already on her second week of pineapple only diet, which shows a certain degree of hypocrisy from his side because he is as fat as a drum and as ugly as a bucketful of arseholes. Butch farmers wearing cowboy hats are an American myth; seen on television but not in real life. At least in Australia this is the case.

We always switch of the light when we do it, she said. I think hes self-conscious about his weight.

Well, most men I have seen at the gym have crooked penises. Like most womens breasts are not the same size, one is always a bit bigger than the other.

She looked down at her cleavage and winking coquettishly at me said, Hows it hanging, Stevo?

Slightly to the left darling I said, winking back at her.

She went back staring at her cell phone screen for a while with a slight smile on her face.

Looking out the front window of the shop I could see no one. It looked like the end of the world and only Maureen and I was left on the planet. Everyone was elsewhere enjoying the holidays.

She saw me staring forlornly out the window and said, Why dont we lock the front door and go watch TV in the back?

During the holidays when the custom was slow we always joked about locking the front door and just wait for the morning to pass until knock of time. We never did because the boss was always around watching us with a weather eye. I reckon he thought we would burn down the shop or steal all his money and escape to a pacific island if he wasnt there. This year he had to go to his family in Perth because his wife threatened to give him the sack if he didnt go with her. I thought for a while and said, What the hell, lets do it.

I went to the front door to lock it while Maureen went into the back where we kept all the new stock.

When I entered the back room Maureen was just standing there with her arms behind her back looking shyly at me.

Can I see it? she asked.

What? I asked, taken aback.

What do you think, silly, your crooked penis of course.

Okay, but then I would like to see if your breasts are the same size, was my pitiful comeback.

She nodded, staring at my crotch while I was busy undoing the belt buckle and unzipping my pants.

My penis felt strange being exposed like this in my place of work.

It was the strangest feeling. I had my dick out in night clubs and other places before but this felt different.

It felt like my penis was undressed somehow.

Is it hanging to the left? I asked.

A little, Maureen said, touching my penis with her finger.

Is it crooked when its stiff too? she asked.

I dont know, why dont you make it stiff with your mouth and well see.

Oh no, she said, wrinkling her nose. I dont think I would like that.

Havent you sucked Brett off before?

He asks me sometimes but I dont think I would like the taste of it.

We looked at each other for a while.

I can give you a hand job, though, if youd like?

Well, that would work too I said, taking her hand and guiding it to my slowly stiffening penis.

Slowly she started jerking me off, staring down intently at my penis head as it slid in and out of her fist.

I could feel her warm breath on my cheek as I looked down, too. I looked at her soft lips just centimetres away from mine and touched her lips with mine. She returned my kiss and soon my arms were around her, hugging her soft breasts against my chest. Her left arm went around my back, hugging me closer to her. It was the most intense orgasm I ever had. The tension started in my back and soon moved towards my hips. It felt like I was going lame when my semen squirted over her hand and onto the front of my shirt. We just stood there for a while holding tight to each other.

She looked at me and without a word I took her hand and led her to the table where we used to have our lunch every day.

She lay down on the table and I slowly started unbuttoning the front of her top. Slowly the soft mounds of her plump milky breasts became visible. She had the loveliest nipples the colour of pink rose petals.

I took one in my mouth and felt it stiffening against my tongue. Slowly I moved my tongue around the nipple, enjoying the smooth hardness of it. I started moving my lips down her soft heaving tummy while I pushed up her skirt around her hips. She had white cotton panties on and I could see a moist line where her slit touched the fabric. I pulled a bit of her cotton panties aside to reveal the smoothest pussy lip I have ever seen. Sometimes girls who shave their pussies are quite stubbly down there but she mustve ripped out all her pubic hair because all I could see was this soft velvety regrowth. She gasped and spread her thighs wider apart as I sucked the exposed part of her labia into my mouth.

The feel of her marshmallow soft pussy lip against my tongue was incredible. Quickly I pulled her panties of and took a seat in front of her spread legs and glistening pink slit. I spread her lips apart with my fingers, marvelling at the rosy perfection in front of me. As I moved closer to give her pussy a lick i caught a whiff of pineapple coming from her inner lips.

-Interesting, - I thought. I never reckoned a diet of pineapple would have that effect.

I started at the opening of her vagina, licking slowly up towards her clit and then back down again. By now she was breathing hard and pulling on my hair. Suddenly her pussy became super wet and she almost ripped the hair out of my head climaxing. The smell of pineapple was stronger now and I could taste it, too. Usually when a girl comes when Im licking her I cant get away fast enough but this was something else. I lapped up her pineapple flavoured juices like her pussy was a pineapple cream tart.

By now I was hornier than a three balled tomcat and shoving the chair I was sitting on out of the way i positioned myself in front of her glistening sex. Slowly I entered her tight lubricated vagina and started dipping in and out of her like a piston on turbo. I heard fat chicks have really tight pussies and now I know the truth of it. Her pussy had the tightness and feel of the inside of a persons cheek. She started playing with her clit and uttered short gasps every time I pushed into her. As I started to feel the tension in my hips again she started saying Now, now, now, in rhythm with my thrusting. At the same time her vaginal walls started contracting around my Johnson i shot my cum into her. I could feel her vagina milking the semen out of me and i fell on top her.