Ethan Mordden - Some men are lookers

SOME MEN ARE LOOKERS

BY ETHAN MORDDEN

NONFICTION

Better Foot Forward: The Story of Americas Musical Theatre

Opera in the Twentieth Century

That Jazz!: An Idiosyncratic Social History of the American Twenties

A Guide to Orchestral Music

The Splendid Art of Opera: A Concise History

The American Theatre

The Hollywood Musical

Movie Star: A Look at the Women Who Made Hollywood

Broadway Babies: The People Who Made the American Musical

Demented: The World of the Opera Diva

Opera Anecdotes

A Guide to Opera Recordings

The Hollywood Studios

The Fireside Companion to the Theatre

Medium Cool: The Movies of the 1960s

Rodgers & Hammerstein

FICTION

Ive a Feeling Were Not in Kansas Anymore

One Last Waltz

Buddies

Everybody Loves You

How Long Has This Been Going On?

Some Men Are Lookers

FACETIAE

Smarts: The Cultural I.Q. Test

Poohs Workout Book

ETHAN MORDDEN

SOME MEN ARE LOOKERS. Copyright 1994, 1997 by Ethan Mordden. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martins Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

The Hunt for Red October originally appeared in slightly different form in Waves: An Anthology of New Gay Fiction.

Design by Bryanna Millis

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Mordden, Ethan.

Some men are lookers / by Ethan Mordden.1st ed.

p. cm.

ISBN 0-312-15660-X ISBN: 978-0-312-15660-2

1. Gay menNew York (State)Social life and customs
Fiction. 2. Manhattan (New York, N.Y.)Social life and customs
Fiction. 3. City and town lifeNew York (State)New York
Fiction. I. Title.

PS3563.07717S65 1997

813'.54dc21

96-53928

CIP

First Edition: June 1997

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

To the memory of
ROBERT JAMES TRENT
April 27, 1945February 25, 1995

To my always excellent copy editor, Benjamin Dreyer; to my diplomatic agent, Joe Spieler; to my editor, Keith Kahla, with whom I gladly reunite after a perilous intermission. Its a jungle out there.

The action begins in 1988.

The setting is mainly New York City, in and around the
apartments of Dennis Savage and Bud, in a high-rise on East
Fifty-third Street.

The players include:

DENNIS SAVAGE, a schoolteacher in his late thirties.

VIRGIL, his live-in, in his late twenties. Creative, whimsical, increasingly restless. Formerly known as Little Kiwi.

BAUHAUS, Virgils crafty, sinister, demented dog.

CARLO, n Smith, given name Ripley, a constant visitor to East Fifty-third. Ageless and all-conquering, the hottest cowboy in town.

PETER KEENE, an editor in book publishing, just coming out and a little cock-crazy. More than a little.

VIC ASTARCHOS , a porn model and hustler, big-time.

CASH WESTMAN, a vile seducer with S&M interests.

MISS FAYE, a drag queen. Style: thuggish pixie. Lifes Hope: to win Oscar for her fabulous Teacup Scene, thereby ranking out that meddling Dominique Sanda, with her incessant Lesbian Dance Sequence. Age: advanced, though a tidy exercise program makes her feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, the twenty-year-old usually isnt interested.

KONSTANTIN , a Russian migr construction worker, married and a father; also, to his bewilderment, Peter Keenes lover.

TOM DRIGGERS, a mostly offstage character. Once a champion party boy, now dying in the hospital.

ZULIAN, nicknamed Zuleto, an episode in Buds past, today the operator of a motorboat fleet catering to tourists in Venice.

CANDIO, Zuletos son. Devastating, withas they put it in Veniceocchi assassini: killer eyes.

BILLY, a street kid given a second chance. Wiry, trashy, appealing.

BERT HICKS, a good guy gone lurid on Stonewall heat. But is he telling the fatal truth?

ROY AND NICKY, a typical best-friend couple: One is content with the contract as it reads, while the other wants to amend it with an all-the-way love clause.

FATTY DE PINERO, a shadowy character.

BABY FRUMKIN, an imaginary character.

COSGROVE, a changeling with dreams of revenge and an arsenal of whoopee cushions, Virgils inseparable buddy and the live-in of

BUD: who narrates.

They were playing the Commercial Game one evening when Lionel dropped by Dennis Savages to tell us that Tom Driggers was back in the hospital for what was almost certainly the last time, and had asked to see Dennis Savage. Tom and he had been very close oncevery, very close was my impression. But they hadnt spoken in quite some time now.

Subaru! Virgil cried. The car in a million!

With hatchback and full accessories! Cosgrove added. Radio, tape deck, mascara tray.

Hes really bought the farm, Lionel was telling us. All that money and power, and down he goes to nothing.

Youll ride like a king! Virgil announced. Its Subaru!

See how it goes! said Cosgrove, as a Pontiac sailed by.

You should be there, Lionel went on. Hes got a roomful of... of toadies and pimps and comparable phantasmagoria of the bad old days. Thats what hes dying to. Theres nobody human in that room.

Virgil, Dennis Savages live-in, is, like Cosgrove, considerably younger than most of our circle. So he isnt as well informed as we are and, again like Cosgrove, often keeps one ear on our conversations, sifting through the terms and concepts for material he can use in the act: his life. I saw him sifting now, losing touch with the television as he took in this new thing about toadies and death and power.

Tom had everything and now he has nothing, Lionel continued. Im afraid to have to admit that this is a very gay story. What ups and what downs, I mean? He looks like a beanbag sculpture. So, if we could only not maximize his failure...

Dennis Savage looked at him.

Okay? said Lionel.

Dennis Savage looked at me.

As a kind of restabilizing act of mercy? Lionel added. For me? Okay?

Dennis Savage said, Not okay.

Ladies, arent you tired of your derodeant? Cosgrove declaimed, smoothy-announcer-style. Dont you want Mamzelle Hint OSpring instead?

Thats not deodorant, Cosgrove, thats laundry de

I think a man deserves something better than to die with all his would-be heirs drooling over him, Lionel went on.

What about that carpenter Tom was living with? I asked. With all the tattoos? I thought that was supposed to be love for life.

Lionel sighed. He gestured then, resolute but resigned, one of those things hands do in the air when words cant tell. It sort of was, actually. Love. Which was very unusual for Tom. Tuffy, his name is. He isnt around all that often. Tom wont talk about it, but apparently Tuffy has developed a prodigious case of plague necrophobia. Hes a simple guy, you know, very basic, and he just doesnt get it, or anything. He is very desperately threatened.