Kim Harrison - Madison Avery 1 Once Dead, Twice Shy

Once Dead, Twice Shy

A Novel

Kim Harrison

Everyone does it. Dies, I mean. I found this out for myself on my seventeenth birthday when I was killed in a freak car accident on my prom night. But it was no accident. It was a carefully planned scything, just a small moment in the battle between light reapers and dark, heaven and hell, choice and fate. Only I didnt check out of my life like most dead people do. Thanks to a mistake, Im stuck, dead on earth. The angel who failed to protect me and the amulet I stole from my killer are the only things keeping me from ending up where the dark reapers wanted me to be. Dead, that is. My name is Madison Avery, and Im here to tell you that theres more out there than you can see, hear, or touch. Because Im seeing it, hearing it, touching it, living it. One

I leaned my shoulder against a rough boulder and fumed. Dappled sunlight shifted upon my sneakers as the wind made my hair tickle my neck. The sound of kids swimming at the nearby lake was loud, but the happy shouts only tightened the knot in my gut. Leave it to Barnabas to try to turn around four months of failed practice in a mere twenty minutes.

No pressure, I muttered, glancing across the dirt path to the reaper standing against a pine tree with his eyes shut. Barnabas was probably older than fire, but he blended in nicely, with his jeans, black T-shirt, and lanky physique. I couldnt see his wings, which wed flown in on, but they were there. He was an angel of death with frizzy hair and brown eyes, who wore a pair of holey sneakers. Would that make them holy holey sneakers? I wondered as I nervously rolled a pinecone back and forth under my foot. Feeling my attention on him, Barnabas opened his eyes. Are you even trying, Madison?

he asked.

Duh. Yes, I complained, though I knew this was a lost cause. My gaze dropped to my shoes. Yellow with purple laces, and skulls and crossbones on the toes, they matched the purple-dyed tips of my short blond hair, not that anyone else had ever made the connection. Its too hot to concentrate, I protested. His eyebrows rose as he looked at my shorts and tank top. I actually wasnt hot, but nerves had made me jittery. I hadnt known that I was going to summer camp when Id slipped out of the house this morning and rode my bike to the high school to meet Barnabas. But for all my complaining, it felt good to get out of Three Rivers. The college town my dad lived in was okay, but being the new girl sucked eggs. Barnabas frowned at me. Temperature has nothing to do with it, he said, and I rolled the bumpy pinecone under my foot even faster. Feel for your aura. Im right in front of you. Do it, or Im taking you home.

Kicking the pinecone away, I sighed. If we went home, whoever we were here to save was going to die. Im trying. I leaned against the boulder behind me, reaching up to hold the black stone cradled in silver wire that hung around my neck. At Barnabass impatient throat-clearing, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a hazy mist surrounding me. We

were attempting to communicate silently with our thoughts. If I could give my thoughts the same color as the haze around Barnabas, my thoughts would slip through his aura and he would hear them. Not an easy thing to do when I couldnt even see his aura. Four months of this odd student/teacher relationship, and I couldnt even get to stage one. Barnabas was a light reaper. Dark reapers killed people when the probable future showed they were going to go contrary to the grand schemes of fate. Light reapers tried to stop them to ensure humanitys right of choice. Having been assigned to prevent my death, Barnabas must have considered me one of his more spectacular failures. I hadnt gone gentle into that good night, however. I had whined and protested my early death, and when I stole an amulet from my killer, Id somehow saved myself. The amulet gave me the illusion of a body. I still didnt know where my real body was. Which sort of bothered me. And I didnt know why Id been targeted, either. The amulet had felt like fire and ice when Id claimed it, shifting from a dull flat gray to a space-deep black that seemed to take in light. But since thennothing. The more I tried to use it, the more stonelike it was.

Barnabas had now been assigned to shadow me in case the reaper whod killed me came back for his amulet, and Id gone back to living as normal a life as I could. Apparently just the fact that I had been able to claim it without blowing my soul to dust made itand merather unique. But watching over me wasnt Barnabass style, and I knew he couldnt wait to get back to his soul-saving work. If I could just figure this thoughttouching thing out, he could resume his regular duties, leaving me reasonably safe at home and able to contact him if the dark reaper showed up again. But it wasnt happening.

Barnabas, I said, weary of it, are you sure I can do this? Im not a reaper. Maybe I cant touch thoughts with you because Im dead. Ever think of that?

Silent, Barnabas dropped his gaze to the pine-rimmed lake. The worried lift to his shoulders told me he had. Try again, he said softly. I tightened my grip until the silver wires pressed into my fingers, trying to imagine Barnabas in my thoughts, his easy grace that most high schoolers lacked, his attractive face, his riveting smile. Honest, I wasnt crushing on him, but every angel of death Id seen had been attractive. Especially the one whod killed me. Despite the long nights on my roof practicing with Barnabas, I hadnt been able to do anything with the shimmery black stone. Barnabas had been hanging around so much that my dad thought he was my boyfriend, and my boss at the flower shop thought I should take out a restraining order.

I pushed myself away from the rock. Im sorry, Barnabas. You go on and do your thing. Ill sit here and wait. Ill be fine. Maybe this was why hed brought me. Id be safer waiting for him here than several hundred miles awayalone. I wasnt sure, but I think Barnabas had lied to his boss about my progress in order to get out and working again. An angel lyingyup, it happened, apparently.

Barnabas pressed his lips together. No. This was a bad idea, he said, crossing the path to take my arm. Lets go.

I jerked out of his grip. So what if I cant push my thoughts into yours? If you dont want to leave me here, then Ill follow you and stay out of the way. Jeez, Barnabas. Its a summer camp. How much trouble can I get into?

Plenty, he said, his smooth, young-looking face twisting into a grimace.

Someone was coming up the path, and I rocked back a step. Ill stay out of the way. No one will even know Im there, I said, and Barnabass eyes crinkled in worry. The people were getting closer, and I fidgeted. Come on, Barnabas. Why did you fly us out here if you were just going to take me home again? You knew I couldnt solidify in twenty minutes what Ive been trying to do the past four months. You want this as much as I do. Im already dead. What more can happen to me?

He looked up the path at the noisy group. If you knew, you wouldnt be arguing with me. Hide your amulet. One of them might be the dark reaper.

Im not afraid, I said as I tucked it behind my shirt, but I was. It wasnt fair, being dead and still having to deal with heart-pounding, breath-stealing tension when I was afraid. Barnabas said the sensations would fade the longer I was dead, but I was still waiting, and it was embarrassing.

Eyes down, I dropped back to let three girls and three guys go by. They were in flip-flops and shorts, the girls chattering as if they didnt have a care in the world as they headed downhill to the dock. It all seemed normaluntil a shadow passed over me and I looked up.