Alexander - And the Next Question is ...: Powerful Questions For Sticky Moments

Title Page

AND THE NEXT QUESTION IS

Powerful Questions for Sticky Moments

Rachel A. Alexander & Julia M. L. Russell

Publisher Information

First edition published in 2012 by MX Publishing

335 Princess Park Manor,

Royal Drive, London, N11 3GX

www.mxpublishing.co.uk

www.mxpublishing.com

Digital edition converted and distributed in 2012 by

Andrews UK Limited

www.andrewsuk.com

Copyright 2012 Rachel A. Alexander & Julia M. L. Russell

The right of Rachel A. Alexander & Julia M. L. Russell to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1998.

All rights reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this publication may be made without express prior written permission. No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted except with express prior written permission or in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright Act 1956 (as amended). Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damage.

Although every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this book, as of the date of publication, nothing herein should be construed as giving advice. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and not of MX Publishing.

Cover design by www.staunch.com

Dedication

Rachel dedicates this book to her four shining lights: Jacqui, Bonnie, Bex and Gill.

Julia - this book is dedicated to Roy, June, Mark & Jacqui and friends around the world; you continue to inspire me.

Foreword

I have heard it said that nonfiction writers often write the book they want to use. Rachel and Julia may have done that with the volume you are reading, and I am writing this foreword because I want it in print on my desk as well. The sooner the better - hardcover tooled leather, please.

There is something about having a reference at hand that assures us, when we are in the middle of chaos. Life often appears to be chaos, from any one single perspective at least. It usually is from mine.

Coaching sessions punctuate that chaos, with regular half hours or half days, sometimes only for a period of months, often for years. Coaching is incremental. Life happens a day or a week at a time; coaching happens one question at a time.

For people being coached, setting a regular time aside for themselves modifies the chaos of life. That marker holds the expectation that they will step back and allow themselves space to consider another week of doing and being. What do I want to build or develop? What do I want to let go of? What is next?

In many outstanding coaching sessions I have heard, the coach has only asked 6 or 8 questions altogether, and has not offered advice or solved anything. Masterful coaches ask well-timed questions, drawing from a repertoire they have added to over years of experience.

At the same time, experience can cause a coach to overuse a question or approach. This can happen with even the most powerful questions or the most skilled coaches. I was reminded of it as I read. As coaches, we need variety; we cant rely on a question or approach time and again. I found in this volume so many options to play with.

As I said at first, Rachel and Julia might have created this resource because they wish it had been available 10 years ago when they began coaching. It is for leaders and managers who want to improve their coaching style. For new coaches, what a

wonderful shortcut. For experienced coaches, here it is, finally, all the questions you will ever need in one volume.

Jan Elfline

Master Certified Coach (ICF)

Jan Elfline began coaching in 1993 and in 1998 she was one of the first forty coaches worldwide to be recognized as a Master Certified Coach (MCC) by the International Coach Federation. She was an early leader and pioneer in the field of coaching, bringing the language and tools of NLP into the practice of coaching. Her training organization, About Mastery, provides continuing education to experienced coaches worldwide.

Introduction

A great question is more valuable than a good answer. We invite you to look through these pages, find the right question for the moment and ask that powerful question which will unleash the innate wisdom in all of us. Read on..............

Objectives of the book

This is a working collaboration between two professional coaches whose objective is to reach out to more people, make a difference and contribute to the coaching profession by sharing knowledge through a published piece of work. And the next Question is ... a very practical and easy to use book, which we hope will form part of every coachs essential toolkit as it enables you to easily find key questions in some of the most distinctive areas of coaching, such as confidence, leadership, communications, balance and life-purpose.

What this book is/is not

This book can be used in a number of ways; as a memory jogger for experienced coaches, a reference or resource tool for the new coach, a trigger to send you off exploring on a quest of your own or a way to prepare for a coaching session by flicking through all the pages and seeing what grabs your attention. You could also use this book to focus on a particular chapter which you believe may help your client, to gain inspiration or as an escape in those sticky moments when ones mind goes blank.

What this book is not is an exhaustive list of all the questions one might need in a coaching session. It is a list of questions which we have gathered or created during more than 10 years of practical professional coaching experience, research and feedback from clients and colleagues alike and which we would like to share with a wider community.

These questions have helped us in sticky moments when we have thought what could be the next really great question I could ask? or Help, what do I say next?! Sometimes the answer may be Nothing ; silence is golden (to coin a phase) and often enables the client to find their own answer and sometimes another question for themselves. However, if something does come or needs to be said it is our hope that the following pages provide some assistance in finding the question that makes the difference, or moves you / your client on, maybe even that killer question or what we prefer a powerful question.

How to read/use this book

This book has been constructed as a reference or resource book. It is divided into chapters and at the beginning of each chapter is a guide as to the contents of that chapter, listed in alphabetical order for ease of reference. At the start of each section is a shaded area which provides our definition of that particular topic and any important points that we feel would enhance your experience of that section. The questions are then listed, in no particular order, although sometimes, you may find there is a flow or sequence to the questions, which you may or may not follow as is your wish. Some questions may appear similar and it is our way of providing alternatives as they may feel different / elicit a different response when asked in a different context. We also thought it important to replicate some questions as not all questions are mutually exclusive to any one chapter.

The questions are numbered to enable you to refer back to a particular question at a later date, select a few of your favourites and be able to pinpoint them in the moment with ease later on.

Also within each of the chapters, at the end, there is a blank page, entitled My Favourite Questions, to allow you to write your own notes or add further powerful questions, which may have been triggered from reading the questions on the previous pages.

Beliefs