Valorie Burton - Your 5-Minute Personal Coach: Ask the Right Questions, Get the Right Answers

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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YOUR 5-MINUTE PERSONAL COACH
Copyright 2012 by Valorie Burton
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-3931-7 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-4293-5 (eBook)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Over the years, I have had the wonderful privilege of writing to thousands of people each week, sharing whats on my heart and hoping it might inspire them with ideas and action steps to find greater fulfillment, joy, and resilience. My weekly e-newsletter, The Coaching Session , is my most basic way of expressing my purpose in life: inspiring others to live more fulfilling lives and using writing and speaking as a vehicle to do that.

The most thrilling part of this weekly journey is always the e-mails I receive in return: How did you know I was dealing with that issue this week? These are just the words I needed! Such comments always bring a smile to my face. They let me know that Ive had the privilege of being used as a vessel, and that the seemingly random ideas that come to me to write about are not really so random at all. Gods hand is always in it, even on a not-so-great writing day. My job is to get out of the way and let the words flow, trusting that theyll hold special meaning for you.

After more than a decade of this sort of writing, Ive been asked to commit these weekly messages to book form. Your 5-Minute Personal Coach is the result! Ive also packed this book with tools such as assessments, Did You Know? facts that you can apply to your life, and powerful coaching questions that will help you break through the barriers that hold you back from your true potential.

As a personal and executive coach and as the founder of an organization that trains professional coaches, it is my job to ask powerful questions. Over and over again, I have been amazed at the ability of the right question to unearth the answers that lay within us all along. When you ask the right questions, you get the right answers.

But with the fast pace of life, we dont sit still long enough to ponder. We believe we are saving time by charging ahead with our plans, never pausing for a moment to be intentional about our next steps. I believe in the power of coaching to absolutely transform your life. In fact, it is part of my mission to help you learn to coach yourself. Coaching will, I hope, become a way of life for you. When faced with a dilemma, I want you to learn to pause and ask yourself the right question. Rather than panicking or worrying or soliciting everyone elses opinion (especially the opinions of those who are not wise or experienced enough to shed the light you need), I invite you instead to have a coaching moment. And this book is full of coaching moments.

Ive packed each section with a coaching toolbox of 25 questions. Use these questions to get the powerful next steps that will propel your life forward. And use them with others! If you manage people or are a coach, parent, teacher, or lead people in any capacity, these questions can have a powerful impact.

Some coaching moments will be quick. As soon as you ask the question the answer will be so obvious that you wont need to journal about it or ponder it very long. In fact, you may find yourself saying, Why didnt I ask myself that question in the first place? For example, when you find yourself being unproductive or procrastinating, the simple question, Is this how I really want to spend my time right now? will likely yield a pointed answer: No. This will lead to the more important question: So what am I going to shift my attention to right now? It may sound elementary, but research actually confirms that the most successful, resilient people in life and in business are masters at coaching moments. These people are self-aware enough to notice their thoughts and intentionally change them to the ones that are the most productive and effective for achieving their goalswhether those goals are in relationships, work, finances, health, or your emotional or spiritual life.

Carry this book with you and pull it out when you have a spare moment. Put it next to the bed and read one of its messages first thing in the morning or in the evening before bedtime.

The messages within are tools to help you become more resilient and effective in every area of your life. You may choose to go through it one page at a time, applying the coaching questions to whichever dilemma or opportunity seems appropriate, or you may choose to skip ahead to the section of questions you think will be most helpful to you at the present time.

As you read through these pages, I hope youll sense that I am writing to you as a friend, not an expertas someone who wants to support you in moving your life to the next level, whatever that looks like for you. Over the years, Ive received e-mails and notes from readers just like you whove read my coaching questions and had major breakthroughsmany of them begrudgingly. One woman wrote, Im so mad at you right now for asking those hard questions. I didnt want to answer them! But for some reason, I did anyway. I hate to admit it, but those tough questions were just what I needed.

Honesty isnt easy, and it takes courage to tell the truth. But the truth is the only answer that will move you forward authentically. If you dont tell yourself the truth, you cant possibly find real solutions that work. So as you read these pages, I want to encourage you to muster the courage to be honest. Give yourself permission not to know all the answers. Sometimes, the fact that you dont know the answer is all the answer you need for now. It is at those times that your job is to be patient and trust that the answer will come in Gods divine timing. Simply admitting that you dont know allows you to take a breath and rest in that place of uncertainty. Perhaps that is the lesson for now.

I suggest you answer these questions either out loud or on paper. Ive found that answering completely in your head is usually less effective. Because our thoughts tend to run onone leads to anotheryou can make clearer connections and peel back the layers more easily if you articulate your thoughts either on paper or verbally. Having a trusted person to discuss your answers with or even talking out loud to yourself (hearing yourself say something aloud is a powerful tool!) are both effective ways to articulate your thoughts verbally. Using a journal or even typing your responses can be an effective way to articulate your thoughts in written form. Choose the method that works best for you. You might try different approaches and take note of which flows best. Of course, you dont always have someone available to talk to, so try at least one method that allows you to truly self-coach. In moments when you need to redirect your thoughts, perform on the spot, or get clear about your next step when no one else is around, you will have the skills and confidence to take the best course of action. Im excited to join you on this journey!