Praise for
Whats Really Holding You Back?
Valorie helps us discover and evaluate the issues and challenges that hold us back and keep us from becoming all we were created to be. Jesus said He came that we might have life and have it abundantly. This book will supply you with the answers that will help you move into an abundant, fulfilling future.
T ERRY M EEUWSEN , co-host of The 700 Club
Everybody can use a little help getting out of a rut, and this book by Valorie Burton is just the boost you need. Whether youre having trouble reaching a major goal in life or you just want to stay on top of your game, Valorie has some inspiring words that will take you to the next level.
T OM J OYNER , syndicated radio personality
With the skill of a surgeon, Valorie Burton uses her scalpel to dissect our lives into the major issues that hold us back, and then she provides us with the practical prescription for a breakthrough in each area. If you could use a breakthrough, you will love this book!
B ILL B UTTERWORTH , author of The Promise of the Second Wind and New Life After Divorce
If anything is in the way of your success and happiness, this book will help you remove those barriers. Valorie Burton gives readers the insight, tools, and motivation needed to lead a healthier, wealthier, and wiser lifestyle.
E DWIN V. A VENT , publisher of Heart and Soul magazine
Valorie Burton offers a refreshing approach to tackling those obstaclesreal or imaginedthat hold you back from enjoying a spectacular life.
M ONIQUE G REENWOOD , owner of Akwaaba Bed & Breakfast Inns and author of Having What Matters: The Black Womans Guide to Creating the Life You Really Want
W HATS R EALLY H OLDING Y OU B ACK?
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( NIV ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Italics in Scripture quotations reflect the authors added emphasis.
Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.
eISBN: 978-0-307-55154-2
Copyright 2005 by Valorie Burton
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.
W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Burton, Valorie, 1973
Whats really holding you back? : closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be / by Valorie Burton.1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Self-actualization (Psychology)Religious aspectsChristianity. 2. SuccessReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4598.2.B87 2005
248.4dc22
2004024842
v3.1
This book is dedicated
to two of my very best friends
my parents, Leone and Johnny.
By your examples you have taught me
love, optimism, perseverance, character,
and unwavering faith in God.
I greatly admire you.
Contents
1 Do You Know Where Youre Going?
Identify Where You Want to Be
2 Where Are You Now?
Determine the State of Your Life
3 Are You Fed Up Yet?
Use Your Frustration to Fuel Your Turnaround
4 Are Your Goals Vivid and Specific?
Develop a Clear Strategy
5 What Are Your Nonnegotiables?
Refuse to Lower Your Standards
6 Whats Your Motivation?
Realize Your Purpose Is Not About You
7 Are You Treating the Symptom or the Problem?
Pinpoint the Source of Your Challenges
8 Have You Asked Yourself the Right Questions?
Uncover the Answers at the Heart of Your Issues
9 How Much Influence Do Your Emotions Have?
Let Your Feelings School You, Not Rule You
10 Are You Avoiding Pain or Embracing Joy?
Reconsider How You Make Your Decisions
11 What Are You Afraid Of?
Confront and Conquer Your Fears
12 What Do You Really Believe?
Reject the Lies That Hold You Back
13 Are You Waiting for Perfect Circumstances?
Trust God to Overcome Your Limitations
14 Have You Given Away Your Power?
Accept Responsibility for Your Choices
15 Are You Working Around Problems or Working Through Them?
Break the Cycle of Unhealthy Behavior
16 What Habits Do You Need to Replace?
Condition Yourself to Respond in Positive Ways
17 Are You Speaking Death into Your Life?
Eliminate Negative Talk from Your Daily Conversation
18 Do You Talk Too Much?
Practice the Art of Keeping Quiet
19 Have You Skipped a Step?
Lay the Groundwork for Success
20 Are You Always Running Behind?
Regain Control of Your Schedule
21 Whats Distracting You?
Focus on Your Priorities
22 Do You Give Too Much Weight to the Words of Others?
Discern Where to Turn for Direction
23 Are You Watching for a Window of Opportunity?
Be Ready to Make Your Move
24 Are You Relying on God?
Maximize Your Spiritual Leverage
25 Has Your Way Led to a Roadblock?
Open Your Mind to Alternative Solutions
26 Is It Time to Raise the Bar?
Learn from Constructive Criticism
27 Are You Living in the Past or Learning from It?
Glean the Lessons, Then Move On
28 Are You Ready to Play a Bigger Game?
Prepare to Move to the Next Level
29 Are You Trying to Go It Alone?
Enlist the Help of a Winning Personal Team
30 Do You Know How to Ask for What You Want?
Articulate Your Needs or Concerns Effectively
31 How Has God Uniquely Equipped You?
Tap into the Power of Your Skills, Talents, and Experiences
32 How Do You Deal with Naysayers?
Counteract the Negative Messages Others Send Your Way
33 Do You Need an Updated Road Map?
Ask Yourself, Whats Next?
34 What Do You Need to Leave Behind?
Let Go of Whatever Is Weighing You Down
35 How Far Have You Come?
Draw Strength and Hope from Your Positive Progress
Conclusion: Are You Ready to Close the Gap?
Choose to Move Forward in Faith
Acknowledgments
I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to write this book, to have it released by a publisher who truly cares about making a difference in peoples lives, and to know that you are reading it. I wrote it for you, and so my first of many thanks goes to you. Yes, you! I am thankful for you and for all those I serve through writing, coaching, and speaking. Your encouragement and feedback and the struggles youve shared led me to know that this book needed to be written. Thank you for your love and appreciation. I value the opportunity to make a difference in your life.