ONeal - Shaq talks back

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I could not have brought this book home without the help of my agent, Leonard Armato, and the staff at Management Plus Enterprises. Thanks also to David Vigliano for putting the deal together, George Witte and the St. Martins Press crew for seeing it through, and all my friends and family who made themselves available for interviews. Many thanks to Thomas Gosney, who kept us well fed while we were working on the project, and to Charles Bock, for helping put the book together. The entire Los Angeles Lakers organization deserves credit, too, especially the public-relations staff.

Id also like to thank my teammates and coaches over the years, past and present, who taught me a lot about the game and even more about life.

And a special acknowledgment goes out to Mike Wise of The New York Times, who pulled a lot of these stories out of me over two weeks last summer and made me talk about some things that Ive been wanting to talk about for a long time.

Also by Shaquille ONeal

Shaq and the Beanstalk and Other Very Tall Tales

Why I Cried

And Why You Should Read My Book

The confetti was coming down. People were chanting, yelling, MVP! MVP! Then I saw David Stern, the commissioner, out of the corner of my eye. They were bringing out the shiny trophy, the big golden ball. It was all happening so fast. Everything I ever wanted in basketball was right there in front of me on June 19, 2000, the night I had been waiting for since I first picked up a ball as a five-year-old in Newark, New Jersey.

After we beat the Indiana Pacers in the sixth game of the NBA Finals and the Los Angeles Lakers had won their first title in twelve yearsand I had won my first everI remember Kobe Bryant leaping into my arms for a few seconds. Then I remember finding my family and friends. I remember my mother sharing the moment with me, right in the middle of the Staples Center floor. So many of the people I grew up with, going crazy, trying to tackle me. My three-year-old daughter kissing her daddy.

It all got to me.

When youre 7'1" and weigh 330-something, youre supposed to be big and strong. You are supposed to take whatever people dish out and keep your emotions to yourself. But I needed to let it out. I needed to show people how I was feeling.

Back in 1992, when I first came into the league, it seemed like everyone embraced me and showered me with praise. How great I was going to be. How much I was going to mean to the game. Besides dominating people on a lot of nights, I was the big man who actually had fun and liked being around people.

But somewhere between my rookie year and the beginning of the 19992000 season, I became this player who in a lot of peoples eyes had not lived up to his potential. I became this guy who everybody thought cared only about making movies and rap albums.

Never mind that I was putting up big numbers, playing more hurt than anyone knew, and trying to find the right chemistry with my coaches and teammates. Never mind that I was trying to learn how to be an NBA champion. No one wanted to hear about that. After we lost four straight games to the eventual 1999 champion San Antonio Spurs, everybody wanted to talk about what I couldnt do, how Kobe and Shaq still hadnt grown up yet.

Whenever we lost, it was my fault, no matter what I did. I could have a great, monster play-offs, score 29 a game. But if we didnt win, it was, Yall got swept and Shaq wasnt playing hard. Nothing was said about the guys who werent playing defense and I had to play my man, play Robinson, play Tim Duncan and play all these other guys. Just, Sorry-ass Shaq. Doesnt work hard. Cant hit free throws. Cant guard the pick-and-roll. Cant do this. If he would have stopped doing damn movies and stopped showing off his personal chef on the chef channel, maybe he could win.

OK, when youre the best player on the team, you have to learn to take that kind of criticism. Everything falls on your shoulders. Thats the way it is. When you have the good life like I do and make the kind of money I do, I guess you should be immune to criticism. But Im not lying: I had a hard time with it. The criticism hurt. It made me realize: In this world, whatever you do, its never enough. And thats how I felt.

And so thats why I cried when I won my first championship.

I didnt cry because I was happy, I cried because I was mad. It wasnt a release. It was the wildness of my father trying to get out, but the calmness of my mother taking over.

Inside, I was like, Damn everybody that said I couldnt do it, that said I didnt know how to win. A lot of people think I was probably happy. No, I wasnt happy. I was getting my revenge on the critics. All you people that said all this stuff, Shaq couldnt do this, Shaq couldnt do that. Well, I did it. I proved you wrong. Now what you gonna say?

Thats why I cried.

No one knows the struggles I went through to be standing on the court after we beat the Pacers. Where I really came from. How I tried to learn how to mesh my game with young superstar teammates like Kobe and Penny Hardaway. How no one in America hardly knew my name after my junior year of high school. After all the Hack-a-Shaq defenses, where the object was to basically foul the hell out of me and physically rough me up so I had to shoot free throws. After the abdominal injury I suffered two years ago that almost ended my career. Everything was coming back to me, and I let it all out.

Dont worry. Im not angry anymore. I let go of it that night. I want to have fun and enjoy the rest of my career, whether I play two more seasons or five or more.

But the fact is, theres a lot I want to get across in this book, things I havent talked about before. And when you read it, youll get to know a little bit more about me. Theres a saying that goes, Dont always believe what you see on TV. All the marketing surrounding me shows me playing mean, dunking, acting crazy. Im not really like thatoff the court. Ive been mostly corporate because thats the politically correct thing to do. My agent, Leonard Armato, has been projecting and protecting my image ever since Ive been in the league. He has done a great job. And I would never second-guess him. But theres a part of me that doesnt feel like Ive said the things Ive really wanted to sayabout myself, different players, teammates, coaches and the NBA in general. Ive held my tongue a lot over the eight years cause its the diplomatic thing to do. But like that other commercial says, image is reality. And while I hope people see that Im a nice, genuine person who loves children, who loves being nice to people, at the same time, Im going to be voicing my opinion on certain issues, and it might not make me the most popular guy on the block.

All I can say is, Im not trying to embarrass nobody.

I signed a contract extension worth $88.5 million before this season, which means Ive got $152 million coming to me over the next seven years. I didnt do this book for money. I did it because I have something to say about my life and my career.

Living the NBA lifestyle is something most people cant possibly imagine. In these pages, Im gonna try to bring that life home to you. All the stuff Im talking about is legitimate. Nothing here is made up. This is what I see and how I see it.

Will this book be upsetting to some players in the league? Maybe. But just because I give my opinion on someone based on the time I played with or against him doesnt mean I dont like that person. My opinion can change just like people change over their careers.

Will this book be upsetting to some fans? Im sure that adults can handle it, but I dont think the whole thing is suitable for children. Ill be honest, theres some cursing in here. Hey, Im a grown man. I curse every now and then. If we, as parents, teach our children to be leaders and not followers, then they should grow up and be able to handle a few curse words. I want kids to be able to see people make a mistake and say, You know what, I cant do that.