Lewis Ray - I feel like going on: life, game, and glory

Thank you for downloading this Touchstone eBook.

Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Touchstone and Simon & Schuster.

C LICK H ERE T O S IGN U P

or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

We hope you enjoyed reading this Touchstone eBook.

Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Touchstone and Simon & Schuster.

C LICK H ERE T O S IGN U P

or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

Touchstone

An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2015 by Ray A. Lewis, Jr.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Touchstone hardcover edition October 2015

TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or .

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

Interior design by Kyle Kabel

Jacket design by Cherlynne Li

Jacket photographs by Platon

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lewis, Ray, 1975

I feel like going on : life, game and glory / by Ray Lewis with Daniel Paisner.First Touchstone hardcover edition.

pages cm

A Touchstone Book.

1. Lewis, Ray, 1975 2. Football playersUnited StatesBiography. 3. Baltimore Ravens (Football team)History. I. Paisner, Daniel. II. Title.

GV939.L49A3 2015

796.332092dc23

[B]

2015025645

ISBN 978-1-5011-1235-5

ISBN 978-1-5011-1238-6 (ebook)

This book, like everything I do, is for my mothermy dear mama.

Like the great Tupac song says, Aint a woman alive that could take my mamas place. No, sir.

Though the storm may be raging,

and the billows are tossing high,

I feel like going on...

Rance Allen and Thomas Allen, I Feel Like Going On

Game six of the 2012 NFL seasona season thats meant to be mine, ours. Were meant to win the Super Bowl. Other folks, they dont know this yet, but I know it. My teammates, they might not even know it, but I know it. How do I know? Because I know. I can feel it in my bones. I can taste it. I can close my eyes and picture it. And Im not shy about saying so.

Already, Im on recordtold a sideline reporter at the last Pro Bowl that it was my final trip to Honolulu.

She said, Ray, this is your thirteenth Pro Bowl. Do you like coming to Hawaii year after year?

I said, Tell you the truth, this is it for me. No more Pro Bowls. Im done with Pro Bowls.

Something to think about: this was right after we lost the AFC Championship Game to the New England Patriots. It stung, the way we lost that game. It hurts to remember that game. We gave up the lead on a fourth-quarter drive after a goal-line stand. Id stopped BenJarvus Green-Ellis, cold, third and goal from our 1-yard line, but then Tom Brady came back and stole that touchdown from us on fourth downa sneak up the middle. We had our chances after thatdrove inside the New England twenty with less than a minute to go, but Lee Evans had the ball stripped from his hands after catching a Joe Flacco pass in the end zone on a controversial call, and then we ended up missing a thirty-two-yard field goal that would have tied the game with no time on the clock. So, yeah, it stung.

Told my teammates right after that game wed be back next yearsaid, This aint over. I promise.

This was no end-of-season pep talk. This wasnt me sugarcoating our loss. I knew we had team enough to do it, drive enough to do it. I made it my goal. Nothing would get in the way of that. And I wanted the entire Baltimore Ravens organization to make it a goal, too. I wanted everyone to want it, same way I wanted it. Nothing else mattered. Wed worked too hard, come too close. No way we could let it lie.

Honolulu? The Pro Bowl? I was grateful for the honor each time out, and Hawaii was nice enough, but lets face itthe only folks playing the week before the Super Bowl are the also-rans. Lately, thats how they have the game scheduled. You can be an all-star or you can be a champion. You cant be both. We might dominate at our positions, we might get it done as individuals, but were not winners. Not this year. This is how I took it in, all those trips to Hawaii, that bye week just after the AFC and NFC Championship Games. If we were champions, wed be dug in, getting ready for the Super Bowl. The rest of us, were just on vacation.

So thats the part on record. Off the record, Id decided that 2012 would be my last season. It was time. All along, I knew that when my kids reached a certain age, when Id accomplished everything there was to accomplish in the game, I would set it aside. My son Junior was going into his senior year in high school. I wanted to share that time with him, help him make the transition to college ball. My other kids, I wanted to be with them, too. Wasnt about football. Physically, I felt strong. Physically, I could have played another four or five years at this same high level, I could continue to dominate, but it wasnt about that. It was about family. About a life off the field. Thats the thing people dont realize about this gameit takes the life out of you. I dont mean it saps your strength or beats you down, although it does that, too. I mean it takes you away from the life youre meant to be living. Thats the trade-off. All that time in the gym, all that time in practice, all that time on the roadit pulls you from the people you love. You trade the game for family time, and I got to where I didnt want to make that trade. Thats all.

First person I told was Junior. Told him right before that Pro Bowl game, when I was still lit by the fire of that loss to the Patriots. I took him aside and said, Son, this is it for me. Im gonna fix it so I can come to all your games next year.

He knew what I meant right awaysaid, For real?

I said, For real.

Then he said, But, Pops, you always said that when you start something youve got to finish it. You need to get back to the Super Bowl.

I said, Junior, were going to the Super Bowl. You can write that down.

I told my daughter Diaymon, toobut no one else. Wasnt any reason for anybody else to know, not yet. I didnt want to go out on some farewell tour. I didnt want all those distractions. I just wanted to play football, get us back to that AFC Championship Game, get us back to the Super Bowl, finish on top. The Baltimore front office, the coaching staff, my Ravens teammatesall those folks could wait for my news and join me on my journey instead. I didnt need them on my roller coaster. It wouldve gotten in the way of what we were trying to dowhat we needed to do.

So this is my mind-set, going into this game against Dallas. The season is young, but were off to a 41 start. Were playing pretty well, both sides of the ball, finding our way. Theres a long way to go, but our championship run is taking shape. The pieces are in place. Ive got my whole family with me at the stadium, up from Florida. Even my father is in the box, cheering me on. The whole time, leading up to the kickoff, Im thinking this could be the last time my family is gathered like this for a regular season gameand just this one thought lights some new fire in me.