Micki Boas - One in Five: How Were Fighting for Our Dyslexic Kids in a System Thats Failing Them

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First Tiller Press hardcover edition August 2020

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Interior design by Laura Levatino

Cover design by Patrick Sullivan

White pencils by Photo Melon/Shutterstock

Red pencil by 7th Son Studio/Shutterstock

Author photograph Erin Patrice OBrien

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Boas, Micki, author.

Title: One in five : how were fighting for our dyslexic kids in a system thats failing them / by Micki Boas.

Description: First Tiller Press hardcover edition. | New York : Tiller Press, 2020. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020009757 (print) | LCCN 2020009758 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982130602 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982130619 (ebook)Subjects: LCSH: Dyslexic childrenEducationUnited States. | Parents of dyslexic childrenUnited States. | DyslexiaUnited States.

Classification: LCC LC4709 .B63 2020 (print) | LCC LC4709 (ebook) | DDC 371.91/44dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020009757

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020009758

ISBN 978-1-9821-3060-2

ISBN 978-1-9821-3061-9 (ebook)

For My Boys, Fede, Matias, and Oliver

T hree months after giving birth to my first son, Matias, it was time to go back to work. I felt the dread and the separation anxiety every mother feels when the short maternity leave was up. Each night, I rushed home to give him his last feeding before bed. Between being a first-time mother and being entranced with every move, giggle, and twitch my precious firstborn made, I didnt realize that he was not progressing the way he should.

He never crawled.

He had sensory issues.

His speech was delayed.

Now I wish Id paid more attention and had known what these signs meant. But like all parents, I simply wanted my son to have a happy, uncomplicated childhood.

As early as two and a half years old, when he began school, Matias struggled to learn the alphabet. He steadily fell further behind his classmates in reading, spelling, and comprehension. Yet whenever I asked about his progress, his teachers assured me that Matias was within range developmentally.

Far from being any kind of childrens expert, I chose to believe them.

Looking back, I was mired in denial. Why did it take me so long to admit that Matias needed help? What was I thinking?

Choosing to listen to the experts at school meant not having to acknowledge that he might fall through the cracks of the educational system and ultimately face a tough road ahead, not just in school but in life itself.

By first grade, the thought of going to class tormented Matias so much that he resisted going. After the hour-long struggle of getting him to school, he did everything he could to avoid reading in front of the class.

It took all of the courage my little guy had in him to bravely raise his hand for help. He asked for support so many times that his teacher and classmates gave him an unfortunate nickname: The Statue of Liberty.

Perhaps my sons pediatrician might have identified Matias as a child who would need early intervention and special services in school if shed had more time to see him, but given the way our health-care providers are pressured by insurance companies, one out of three well-child doctor visits are 10 minutes or less. To our doctor, Matias seemed healthy and happyand of course, in most ways he was.

The teachers should have been my allies in spotting Matiass academic problems and addressing them. I knew they cared about my son. But the sad truth is that many schools have an approach of dont ask, dont tell when it comes to identifying and providing services for children with dyslexia, largely because they know they dont have the funding to provide specialized teachers or extra resources.

If youre reading this book, my guess is that you or someone you care about is trying to support a child with dyslexia and have been met with untrained teachers, staff, school district officials, and a child study team (CST) that delay or deny student evaluations, and provide infinite mountains of paperwork. And, inevitably, your money and your patience runs out.

I call this complex ribbon of obstacles the invisible red tape. It exists almost everywhere in America, and it threatens to wind itself around us until were mummified and silent. Now that youve encountered it, youre probably angry and desperately seeking tools you can use to slash through it and get the help your child needs.

Looking back, I wish Id trusted my maternal instincts and gotten angry sooner. Maybe then I would have pushed for earlier interventions to keep Matias on track. At age three, your childs brain is only 80 percent the size it will be at adulthood. Researchers agree that how you nourish and care for your child during the first thousand days of lifefrom conception until age threehas a profound impact on how your child will develop and learn.

I wrote this book to help frustrated parents like me, not just get by, but also to have your child with dyslexia thrive in spite of all the internal and external obstacles that come their way. Im sharing not only the shortcuts, tricks, and inside information I used to cut through that invisible red tape, but also solutions and hacks from more than two hundred other parents and experts I spoke to over the course of writing this book.

In the first section, How Did We Get Here?, I offer the startling facts about dyslexia and frame the problems we face in educating children affected by this invisible learning difference. The second section, The Story of My Sons Dyslexia Journey, details my own personal story as a mom who started out denying that my son had learning issues, but who gradually became a fierce advocate pushing for changes in how our government and schools educate all children with dyslexia.

The third section of the book offers you an Outrageous Highlights Reel of parent stories Ive collected from across the country. Federal and state education laws are implemented at the local level, so I made a point of engaging with parents from distinct geographic regions, as well as from different educational backgrounds, income levels, and professions, to see how these factors impacted their journeys. Some of the stories are infuriating, like the one about a mom who was told by a school district attorney that it was fine if her son didnt reach his full potential, because we need more janitors. Others, like the stories of children so shamed and depressed by their school experiences that they wanted to kill themselves, will surely break your heart.