McDowell - 10 Commitments for Dads

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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10 COMMITMENTS is a series trademark of The Hawkins Childrens LLC. Harvest House Publishers Inc. is the exclusive licensee of the trademark 10 COMMITMENTS.

10 COMMITMENTS FOR DADS

Copyright 2014 by Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved.

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McDowell, Josh.

10 commitments for dads / Josh McDowell.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-7369-5384-9 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-5386-3 (eBook)

1. FatherhoodReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title. II. Title: Ten commitments for dads.

BV4529.17.M334 2014

248.8'42dc23

2013017168

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I wish to recognize the following individuals for their valuable contribution to this book:

Dave Bellis , my friend and colleague for over 35 years, for collaborating with me on the outline of this book, pulling material from my talks and other works to write the rough draft, and folding in all the edits and revisions to shape this work into its final form. I recognize Daves insights on the topic of dads and Im deeply grateful for his contribution.

David Thurston for critiquing the manuscript and providing helpful input on making the book clearer and more easily understood.

Becky Bellis for laboring at the computer to ready the manuscript.

Joshua Devries for coordinating the production elements and digital tags that have enhanced this book.

Terry Glaspey of Harvest House for his vision and guidance in shaping the direction and tone of this work.

Paul Gossard of Harvest House for the expert editing and insight he brought to the manuscript completion.

Contents

B eing a father is tough business. While I love being a dad, I often find myself wanting to scream and pull my hair out and say, I didnt sign up for this! And yet I wouldnt trade it for the world.

My wife and I aim to be the best parents we can be, but when Im at a loss, I often find myself wondering, WWJD? I dont mean What Would Jesus Do? It would be nice to have a direct line to Jesus on parenting, but the reality is he had very little to say about how to be a good dad. In fact, what he did say is quite controversial (for example, Luke 14:26).

By WWJD , I mean What Would Josh Do? Now, as my dad admits right at the beginning of this book, since he was a traveling speaker, my mom was more present in our daily lives than he was. Yet my parents wereand still area great team. I dont mean to imply they were perfect. Thats certainly not the case. Dad made many mistakes, as he says in chapter 1. And by all sociological measurements, his life should be a wreck because of his terrible upbringing. (More about that in a minute.)

Despite his shortcomings, though, my dad gave us kids the love, direction, and boundaries we needed. And I hope to instill the same in my own three kids.

Thats why I appreciate this book. Its not a simple list of dos and donts for dads that guarantees kids will turn out right, as if parenting were like baking a cake or planning a vacation (of course, we all know vacations dont always turn out as planned either!). We all know its not that simple. Rather, this book is filled with examples of successes and failures from my dads experiences, seasoned by biblical truth and including some practical steps as well.

One of the things I appreciate most about my father is how vulnerable he has been regarding the struggles in his own life. He continues that honesty in this book. Even though I had heard the stories about his alcoholic father, his broken family, and the sexual abuse, Im not sure I fully realized how difficult it was until we were sitting down for dinner at a recent family gathering. Mom was sharing funny stories about her childhood, and my sister asked Dad to share one from his life. After an awkward pause he said, I dont have any good memories at all. For some reason when he said that, it hit me harder than ever before. My dad couldnt even think of one good family memory. My heart was broken.

And yet there we were, decades after his childhood, with a close, loving family. How did this happen?

If youre wondering about the answer to that question, then this book is perfect for you. If anything, its testimony that God can redeem even the most broken and dysfunctional family. Whether youre a new dad trying to function on minimal sleep or youve been parenting for years, you will find both hope and direction in 10 Commitments for Dads . Enjoy!

Sean McDowell

I t felt like hours. I couldnt stop pacing. Dottie had been in the delivery room longer than Id expected.

Back then there were no Lamaze classes and husbands werent allowed to be a part of the birthing process with their wives in the hospital delivery room. Expectant dads were relegated to a waiting room to pace the floor. So thats what I was doing.

Finally they wheeled Dottie out of the delivery room holding an eight-pound, two-ounce baby girl. Once we got into the hospital room Dottie handed her to me. As I held Kelly my knees went weak. It dawned on me that now I was actually a father, but I didnt have a clue about fathering.

I wasnt really trained to be a father, and most of us arent. Its natural to be running scared. Then when you look around and see the culture our kids face, you get petrified. Most of the values todays culture embraces are almost the opposite of what you want your kids to embrace. Kids are getting into drugs, alcohol, and sex at an earlier and earlier age. You read about the bullying, violence, and suicide that is happening among kids and its cause for alarm. Whats a dad to do?