Peveteaux - Bake sales are my b*tch: win the food allergy wars with 50 recipes to keep kids safe and parents sane

This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, we urge you to seek competent medical help.

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author, or the publisher. Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

2016 by April Peveteaux

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

Book design by Carol Angstadt

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the publisher.

ISBN 9781623367206 paperback
ISBN 9781623367213 e-book

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Dedicated to the vigilant,
yet terrified,
parents of allergic kids
everywhere

Hello, everyone in the world! At least thats who I am assuming is reading this introduction to Bake Sales Are My B*tch. Because were all suffering hereparents, kids, teachers, the lunch lady, chefs, wait staff, and especially those poor grandparents who just know that soy allergies are a bunch of hooey. Im sorry to report this to those of you who wish to put this book back on the shelf and never think about kids and food issues ever again, but no one is untouched by the dramatic increase in food allergies among our children. You may think that you won the genetic lottery because your kids not only dont have any allergies at all but also are in the 90th percentile in height, answer kale every time you ask what they want for dinner, and are already developing a six-pack in the 3rd grade. Sorry, supermom or -dad (or bothreally you both should be reading this), you cant escape from the great food allergy/intolerance/preference/unidentified food issues of the 21st century. NO ONE CAN.

Listen up, moms and dads, there are as many food allergies and preferences in any given school as there are nits, thats a fact. Okay, thats not a fact, and there are probably more nits, but I dont want to gross you out as we talk about food. But a female head louse does lay about 88 nits during her short lifetime. So theyre all up in there. Sorry, I totally just grossed you out after saying I didnt want to. Damn it! The point is, whether you have an allergic kid or not, at some point, you will be required (or asked, most likely) to consider leaving out a key ingredient to your world-famous chocolate pecan shortbread. No matter how much you wish that were not so, the fact is 1 out of every 25 children in the United States suffers from food allergies, and those numbers are growing rapidly, with a 50 percent increase between 1997 and 2011. its going to be all up in your kids lunch box soon enough. Lets talk about how to get through that tough time without making yourself insane trying to create the perfect dairy-free copy of cream cheese ice cream or, the alternative, coming off like the worlds biggest asshole when you declare, In my day, food allergies weeded out the weak!

Unless youre homeschooling your perfectly developing child in a bubble that does not allow for anyone outside its sphere to enter the inner sanctum, there will always be a miniature adult hanging out next to your kid in the lunchroom, at birthday parties, at classroom celebrations, and even in your own home who cannot tolerate some kind of food something or other. For those of us parents of children with unsullied immune systems (for nowwe all know people who develop problems with food well into adulthood), it can be crazy-making to pack a peanut-free, tree-nut-free, dairy-free, gluten-free lunch 5 days a week. I get to add kosher to my list of grade-schooler lunch requirements, and I know loads of people who also tag on vegan when theyre preparing food for their kids, because, clearly, they are sadists. Throwing a 5-year-old birthday party becomes a land mine of requests/requirements and, many times, we may be tempted to just call bullshit in the face of another please make it refined-sugar-free text. (Pro tip: Thats what the middle finger emoji is for.)

I can hear you getting overwhelmed as you read this. I was overwhelmed as I wrote this, but probably for different reasons. Its true that you cannot feed all of the people all of the time. I actually saw a Yelp review where the diner explained he/she was allergic to mammalian meat, and I dont think anyone knows what to do with that one. So, heres what I am going to do to make it (somewhat) simple. Im going to focus on the eight foods that account for 90 percent of allergic reactions: dairy, eggs, wheat/gluten, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, shellfish, and fish. Given my own lunch box situation with my kids, Im also going to touch a bit on vegan, kosher, and other dietary restrictions as well. I mean, why not just go for it, right? Im here to provide recipes and, hopefully, some kind of comfort for parents who are trying to keep their allergic kid safe, while teaching the rest of the world how to be a more accommodating place for these kids and their completely freaked-out parents. As a proud member of the freaked-out parent club, I, too, have had brushes with minor allergies with my daughter. As someone who has celiac disease, Im also always looking for signs of celiac in my own kids and always forcing them to test my gluten-free cupcakes. But only one of those things is truly stress inducing. To me. My kids only run away one out of three times when I call out from the kitchen, No, really! These are the GOOD cupcakes. I may already have an extra sensitivity to food issues, but it doesnt mean that Im not capable of completely losing it if a pediatrician tells me to remove one more food from our familys diet. I am, and you know I will if that one food happens to be dairy.

While it can certainly appear that there are two distinct sides to the great food allergy debatethose with issues, and those withoutthe fact is, we are all in this together. In America, we often hear the refrain not my problem anytime someone asks for a little assistancebe it with early airline boarding for a family with three wildcatting toddlers or obtaining affordable health care. Unfortunately, that refrain consistently bleeds into our conversations about children and food because were special that way. From the mom who demanded our preschool no-peanuts rule be changed because her 4-year-old only eats peanut butter sandwiches to the regularity of food allergy fights breaking out online, its clear that those with allergic children are constantly battling negative perceptions; and those who think allergies are bullshit can seem to be more concerned with little Calebs snack options than causing death or illness to another kiddo. Oh, you dont believe adults actually behave in that manner? Not one, but two parents have sued schools after a peanut butter ban went into effect due to severe allergies of other students. One parent sued the school because she claimed that her daughter would not be getting her nutritional needs met, Sure, seems legit. And let me just throw in one recent example that found its way to my Facebook feed. Of course, it had to do with Halloween. OF COURSE.