Charles F. Stanley - How To Keep Your Kids On The Team

HOW TO KEEP
YOUR KIDS
ON YOUR TEAM

Other Books by Charles Stanley

A Touch of His Power
Charles Stanleys Handbook of Christian Living
Enter His Gates
Eternal Security
Finding Peace
The Gift of Forgiveness
A Gift of Love
The Glorious Journey
How to Handle Adversity
How to Listen to God
In Touch with God
Into His Presence
On Holy Ground
Our Unmet Needs
The Power of the Cross
The Reason for My Hope
Seeking His Face
The Source of My Strength
Success Gods Way
Walking Wisely
When Tragedy Strikes
Winning the War Within
The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life

HOW TO KEEP
YOUR KIDS ON YOUR TEAM

CHARLES STANLEY

Copyright 1986 by Charles Stanley
Repackaged edition 2003

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Scripture quotations are from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Stanley, Charles F.
How to keep your kids on your team / Charles Stanley.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-7852-6122-2
1. Parent and child. 2. ParentingReligious aspects. I. Title.
HQ755.85 .S73 2004
248.845dc22 2003017877

Printed in the United States of America

03 04 05 06 07 PHX 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To all the single parents who are
working diligently to raise their
children according to the principles
of the Word of God.

CONTENTS

T O KEEP YOUR CHILDREN
ON YOUR TEAM,
YOU MUST THINK CORRECTLY

A nd do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,
that you may prove what is that good
and acceptable and perfect will of God.

ROMANS 12:2

VIEWING YOUR
CHILDREN AS GIFTS FROM GOD

THE SUICIDE NOTE READ, MOM, I M SORRY that I was ever born. It seems to me that I have ruined your happiness. I have chosen this way out so that you can be happy again. The young lady had been left with babysitters from the time she was born until she was old enough to take care of herself. At that time she was provided with a ride to and from school, an adequate allowance, and the freedom to do just about anything she pleased.

This young lady did not come out of a single-parent home where there was no option but leaving her alone. Her parents were simply too busy to be bothered. To spend time with her would have been an intrusion on the social commitments. Obviously, they had not considered her a gift from God. On the contrary, they viewed her as a hindrance to their lives and an interruption of their plans. And the parents conveyed this message to their daughter as she was growing up. They gave her all the material possessions she could ever want, but they never provided the warm, loving atmosphere for her that a child needs.

As Christians, we receive many blessings from the Lord, but of all the blessings, the most precious ones are those called a heritage from the LORD (Psalm 127:3). Other than receiving the gift of eternal life, the entrance of a child into the home is the most blessed event a young couple can experience. The children in your home are Gods gifts to you, and He asks you to view them as such.

OUR SPECIAL GIFTS

Like many parents, Anna and I eagerly awaited the arrival of our first child. We both wanted children but decided to wait until we were out of seminary and into a church. After three years our desires were fulfilled; Andy was born.

When Andy was brought into the hospital room for the first time on the day he was born, Anna and I prayed over him. I remember as if it was yesterday thanking God for His grace in giving us a child. We thanked Him for the privilege of allowing us to have Andy in our home to teach and to guide in the ways of the Lord. At the close of our prayer we gave him back to God. We acknowledged and understood from the very beginning that although our children were gifts from God, they were not ours to keep. We know God had a plan for both Andy and Becky, our daughter.

We purposed in our hearts from the first day we brought each of our children home to raise them to know that God had a special assignment for them. It did not really matter to us where or what that would be; we only knew that they would be prepared by God with our assistance. Then we watched as God began to do His work.

AGAINST THE TIDE

In a society such as ours where children are oftentimes viewed as unwanted expenses and allowed to live only if they will not interfere with career goals and other such important matters, this principle sounds somewhat archaic. With the average number of abortions holding steady at under 1.5 million per year, it is clear that children are viewed by many parents as burdens rather than blessings. There is an undeniable correlation between the atheistic and humanistic trend in recent years and the shift in thinking concerning children. With personhood now defined in terms of quality of life, babies are not considered human until they demonstrate humanness.

This new definition of personhood and the ability doctors have to assess the physical and mental condition of the unborn have put man in the drivers seat concerning who will and will not be allowed to live. Once again man moved to usurp the authority of God. In doing so, another blow is levied against the foundational principles for successful family living.

I t is not
what you think
that influences
your children,
it is what you
communicate.

Many children who have already been born have been called the unwanted generation. For various reasons the mothers pursuing a career seems more important than her staying at home with the youngsters, so the children are placed in day-care centers for others to raise. Linda Burnett, coauthor of the book The Unwanted Generation, says,

I am certain that my children would not develop the confidence and security, on which they will depend throughout their lives, to the same extent at a day-care center that they would at home. There seldom is an adequate substitute for the real parent.... Raising a child in our day is both the most difficult and rewarding task God calls a woman to do.... The infant stages of our childrens lives are brief and yet the most important both psychologically and sociologically. After they are little, we will never again have a comparable opportunity to shape the lives of our children for good.

This is certainly true since 85 percent of their personality traits are formed in the first five years of their lives.