West End Producer - Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Acting (But Were Afraid to Ask

NICK HERN BOOKS
London

www.nickhernbooks.co.uk

Contents

For

My Jean Valjean teddy who is there for me every night, ensuring I am never On My Own

and

My dear family who are a constant source of inspiration, surprise, and unending support

Acting is problem-solving. Directing is helping with the problem. And producing is paying to make the problem look good, dear.

Acknowledgements

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who has supported me whilst working on this book. I have a tendency to get very moody after long hours staring at my laptop so I must send sincere love and thanks to my loving and understanding partner. Thank you for going through this journey with me.

I must also thank everyone who has helped keep the mystery of WEP still a secret! There are times when the temptation to out me must be excruciating, so I sincerely thank you for your kind support, humour, and constant help in making this possible. To my dear friends who have given up so much of their time to help, assist and advise I cannot thank you enough. You know who you are

To my wonderful Twitter followers and family people who have become dear friends and colleagues as a result of the internet. To the angels who firstly took an interest in my work, and to everyone else who has come along and enjoyed the fun. To Anne, Susan, Lynne, Linda, Gemma, Dompy, Mike, Robert, Rebecca, Janie, Julian, Steve, Adam and especially Trevor, who has been a constant guide thank you.

To Michael and Tony, who have a passion for new talent like myself thank you for your ongoing enthusiasm.

Humble thanks to all the well-known faces and showbiz friends who have dedicated their time and energy to read my book and let me have their thoughts. You are all living proof that there are no people like show people.

Thanks to my editor, Matt Applewhite at Nick Hern Books, who has made the creation and development of this book such a joy. For your patience, understanding and intelligence, you have my sincere thanks and Dom to follow! Also everyone else at Nick Hern Books, who are a delight, a joy, and constant source of inspiration thank you.

And, of course, to my dear parents without whom none of this would have been possible. With love.

WEP

The Overture

My dears! Welcome to my little book, all about acting, theatre, entertainment, and the business of show. I do hope you enjoy it.

I spend many evenings discussing the theatre, and felt it was about time I wrote all of my thoughts and experiences down. I wanted to write something that reflected how it is to work in theatre and entertainment in the present day. The truth is that the art of acting and showbiz is, sadly, not all glitz, glamour and jazz hands.

A few years ago I was struck with a sense of doom as I worked alongside some people who took their job far too seriously. Acting and entertainment is, of course, a business, and like any business has to be taken seriously. But this business is also about creating joy and entertainment. There is nothing as rewarding as observing a creative company coming together to put on a show. They are a family, a community working towards one shared goal and often for no money. What other profession can make such a claim? And this is what makes theatre so magical: the astonishing combination of energy, enthusiasm and commitment at the heart of everyone working in it.

I hope this book dispels some of the myths and fears about acting, and provides an honest guide to the realities of entertainment in the modern age. There is a lot of fear in the business. People, especially actors, often feel that they cant voice their true opinions because they dont want to get a bad reputation. There are whispers in corridors, murmurs in The Ivy, and speculation in Andrew Lloyd Webbers office, but a lot of what happens in theatre stays in its own little world. I am not attempting to dish the dirt on theatre at all I just want to open the door a little wider.

As you read this book I suggest taking the time to practise your jazz hands and do the odd ball-change in between chapters. It will give you a great sense of theatre wherever you are. And theatre is the one thing we could all do with more of. So come inside, have a read, take from it what you will, and enjoy, dear.

According to Fame, Acting is the hardest profession in the world. Personally, I think brain surgery ranks quite high up there as well, dear.

Stanislavsky called. He said forget about his books its all about tits and teeth, dear.

Training

Drama schools are marvellous places. They are filled with eager young performers and talented staff who want to share their wisdom, knowledge and phone numbers. But is it essential for an actor to go to drama school? In my mind, a drama-school training is very important it provides actors with a solid basis and foundation in all aspects of a performers life. They teach everything from walking and talking to singing and shouting and importantly provide you with useful contacts in the professional world. Of course, I am not saying that to be a successful actor you must go to drama school there are many marvellous performers who have never stepped foot in one. But it is just a lot tougher to do it that way. Going to a good drama school implies that you have trained to a high standard and can enter and exit the stage without getting an erection.

Auditioning for drama school is a long and arduous process, and requires years of research and development. There are many things to consider; for example, what kind of actor do you want to become? All drama schools offer different specialised courses ranging from musical theatre, acting, dancing, and reality TV technique. So you need to decide what kind of an actor you want to be. You will find very early on in your career that you are typecast as a certain type of performer straight away. Which is why I suggest that pole-dancing is not your first professional engagement.

There are many types of drama schools. Whilst some are based in lovely big mansion houses in the middle of acres of land, others can be found near brothels in Kings Cross. Of course, this does not mean that one is better than the other it just means that at one you can expect a more varied and fulfilling personal life. There are currently twenty-one drama schools which belong to Drama UK (formerly the Conference of Drama Schools), and also many others and the task of deciding which one is right for you can lead to decades of uncertainty, dizziness and celibacy. It is essential you do your research and discover which ones have the best-looking staff, cleanest toilets and cheapest bar. These tiny details will make all the difference in your drama training.

You should also do your research and discover which famous actors and celebrities attended each school. It is always very telling when a school is proud to advertise that they have a recent graduate who is fronting the new Durex advert, or appearing in a nursery schools tour of Trainspotting.

Most drama schools have the words dramatic, art or academy in their title (some are very greedy and have all three). A few have the word Royal in them which simply means that Prince Edward goes there at weekends to work on his drag act. Occasionally you will even find a school that has the word music in it. This means that, as well as a couple of hours of drama each week, you also get a few minutes to play the recorder and practise your fingering skills.