Jeffery L. Condon - Beyond the Grave: The Right Way and the Wrong Way of Leaving Money to Your Children (and Others)

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In keeping with my lawyer-like penchant to compartmentalize, I shall break my acknowledgments into four separate and distinct categories.

For Those Without Whom This Revised Edition Wouldnt Exist

Colleen Lawrie. She is my incredibly industrious and seriously brilliant editor at HarperCollins, who championed the idea of this second revised edition. Not only is she the best book editor that ever lived, but a master of the lost art of editor-author diplomacy. Painful cuts and edits in my precious manuscript were almost made a pleasure with Colleens pleasant and engaging manner. From now on, whenever bad news about anything has to be delivered to me, I want Colleen to be the messenger.

Margret McBride. She is my literary agent and has been with Beyond the Grave since before it was first published in 1995. Way back then, it was tough sledding for Margret to find a publisher for an inheritance book with a rough-shorn edge. (Remember the rejections we received because publishers wanted us to change died to passed away?) But Margret believed in us and found a toehold for this book with HarperCollins... an effort that literally changed the personal and professional lives of my father and me.

For Those Who Happen to Be My Children

Bradley. Hayley. Carly. Man... how did you get to be twenty-four, twenty-two, and sixteen, respectively? Wasnt it just yesterday that each of you was eight and actually wanted to hang with your old man? Well... it seems like yesterday to me.

Truly, the best thing for me about doing this revised edition is getting the opportunity to bestow some awesome fatherly advice to you in a printed format for everyone to see forever! And you dont have to listen to me pontificate (look it up, kids). You can read it right here at your leisure.

So here it is. The five Greatest Hits of my sage fatherly advice to you:

1. One day about twenty years from now you will turn around and wonder aloud, What happened? Didnt I used to be younger than this? My dad warned me how time is fleeting when I was twenty-two and I refused to believe him. Well, guess what? Its true! As I sit here in my mid-fifties, I ask that question every single day. So, having been the first person to point out to you that life goes by quickly, Ill also advise you to look up from your electronic devices now and then. Glance around at your surroundings. Appreciate your daily existence. Tell yourself how lucky you are to have grown up and lived where you do, just minutes from the beach in Santa Monica. And recognize that the rewards you receive as you progress through life are directly proportional to your efforts.

2. As you get older and find yourselves mired in the conventional daily lifeschool, friends, profession, family, mortgage-payingmake sure you find time for service to humanity and the community. Whatever cause happens to float your boat.

3. The Golden Rule is not just a phrase we middle-aged folks spout off for fun. I conduct all aspects of my life by it. Its good Karma. Make it a fundamental building block for your lives and those of your future children.

4. While you engage in the thoughts and activities described above, try to find your joy in life. Whatever it is. A lot of folks go through life without knowing anything other than the daily grind. But just make sure that joy is legal. I am not sacrificing a morning swim workout to come to the police station at 5 a.m. and bail your asses out.

5. You have just got to watch more Star Trek . In all its versions and incarnations. Because Star Trek is good. Its really, really good!

For Those Who Made the Cut

In the Acknowledgments for Beyond the Grave in 1995 and for the 2001 revision, I had fun mentioning everyone with some connection to me. Distant relatives. Friends. Acquaintances. My childrens friends. My childrens friends parents, coaches, and elementary school teachers. If I saw somebody once a week who had even a small role in my life or the lives of my children, they made it in.

Now, nearly twenty years after the original publication, those old social spheres are nearly gone, and I have practically no connection to most of those people. But I am so fortunate to have the ones that remain. These are the most meaningful people in my life, and they made me a happy (or at least, pacified) camper during the arduous process of writing this second revision. So if you happen to see your name down below, congrats! You made the cut!

My closest buddies since elementary and middle school: Bret Donnelly. Brad Wheeler. Mark Beede. Milton Stumpus. Eric Fonkalsrud. Paul Cooke.

My old law school buddies: Kenneth Aslan and Anthony Caronna.

My childrens friends who have become part of my family: Hailey Sheridan. Kaile Nakao. Meghan Bradley. Karly Minderhout. Cianna Guerrero. Madeline Schulman-Clancy. Jordan Breuer.

My daughters dedicated and hardworking softball coaches at Santa Monica High School: Debbie Skaggs and Dan Ramos.

My amazing and beautiful (inside and out) girlfriend, Kimberly Klaskin, and her daughter, Jenna.

My daughters past and present softball team manager, who has been a voice of reason, calm, and quiet authority in the often tumultuous world of league and travel softball: Susan Croft.

My secretary, Marbellis Garcia.

My Atlanta cousins: Philip and Gilda Franklyn, and their reasonably well-behaved daughters, Stephanie, Rachel, Sarah, and Julia.

For Those Who Dont Know I Exist

I have acknowledged these two people in all prior versions of Beyond the Grave even though they dont know me from Adam. Im just one guy in their respective legions of fans.

These gentlemen are the biggest cultural influences in my life, and its still a thrill for me to have this platform and tell the world that I am a big fan. My previous mentions were more like short essays about their influence and effect on my life. For this version, I shall refrain from yet another river of praise, and simply mention names and brief attributes:

Mark Knopfler. Singer. Songwriter. Guitar virtuoso. My musical hero.

Sir Patrick Stewart. Thespian. Fun-loving and down-to-earth Brit. Owns the best portrayal of a captain of the Enterprise .

Once again, gentlemen, heres hoping that these Acknowledgments find you... because that may ultimately lead to my shaking hands with you before I die.

If you have a family you love, poured your soul into building a business, and hate the idea of seeing the lions share of your estate go to the taxman, you cannot afford to die without reading this book.

Lou Richman, Fortune

[ Beyond the Grave ] aims to show how proper estate planning leaves your family securenot at war.... Condons mission is keeping the family, and its assets, together through life and death, using proper inheritance planning.

Los Angeles Times

The reader-friendly book deals with everything.... It thus behooves a parent with no plans for a coffer in his coffin to pay attention.... To find out what the authors have to say about the most common squabbles and conflicts that occur when parents die and children divide the inheritance, read Beyond the Grave, while you still have time to put its wisdom to use, that is.