Lisa Stone - The Darkness Within: A Heart-Pounding Thriller That Will Leave You Reeling

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Published by Avon

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First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins 2017

Copyright Lisa Stone 2017

Lisa Stone asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authors imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

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Source ISBN: 9780008236694

Ebook Edition March 2017 ISBN: 9780008236700

Version: 2017-04-27

It was always worse when hed had a beer or two. That Feeling. Hot, urgent and raw, tearing through him. Making him restless, argumentative. Angry. It was as though something or someone took control of him, forcing him to act badly, to be nasty and cruel. It happened when someone had a go at him, took the piss or said something he didnt like.

The feeling was there at other times too, Shane had to admit, but it was worse when hed had a drink. It didnt take much; just a few beers. He wasnt an alcoholic, but it lowered his guard enough to allow his anger to come to the surface.

It was because of his childhood, Rosie said. Theyd moved in together four months ago, and on the whole she was sympathetic. In some respects, she was too understanding for her own good. She was a good person and he liked her, even told her he loved her when she asked. But why didnt she realize that the kinder and more understanding she became, the easier it was for him to overstep the mark?

It almost incited him to do it. Yet she continued to be understanding despite what he did to her: hitting her, making her scream, cry out and beg for mercy. Afterwards he knew that it wasnt the gentlemanly way to act, but when he was angry and out of control he didnt care a fuck for the gentlemanly way.

Anger, resentment, the feeling that he wasnt good enough brewed together in an unwholesome concoction and made him act as he did. He sensed that others felt he was inferior to them; that he was uneducated, stupid, and fair game to laugh at. That was the worst feeling that they were laughing at him, especially when it was someone he knew taking the piss. It made him so angry that he couldnt be held responsible for his actions. This had got him into trouble many times and then recently hed smashed a bottle and glassed his best mate, Kevin, which had put him in prison. Theyd been drinking and telling jokes and Kevin had told one which he hadnt immediately grasped. Kevin had laughed and called him a dickhead. The others had laughed too, which didnt help, but he expected more from Kevin, being his best mate. Then before he realized what he was doing hed smashed the top off a bottle and had ground it in Kevins face.

He looked at Rosie now, cowering in the corner of the bedroom, the one that was theirs since hed moved in. Why shed let him move in he wasnt sure, but he was pleased she had. It was kind of her, but then Rosie was kind. He could admit that even now when shed got on his nerves and made him hit her. Had she been a horrible bitch, a slag, like his mother, he could have better justified hitting her. Hed gone to his mothers house first on his release from prison but she hadnt wanted him. No surprise there; shed never wanted him, not even as a baby. The shrink hed seen in prison had said his mother could be part of his problem his anger stemmed from her lack of nurturing and ultimate rejection of him. But it couldnt be helped. No one was perfect; not his mother or even Rosie for all her kindness and forgiveness.

The bedroom had been decorated in pale pink when hed first moved in. Yuck, hed said to her when hed first seen it, and shed laughed.

Jesus! hed exclaimed as hed looked at her collection of china dolls in period costumes arranged on a small satin-covered chair. Dolls in my bedroom! What do you take me for? A nancy boy?

Hed told her the dolls would have to go, but she hadnt understood to begin with because they were still there for another two days. Then hed got angry that she hadnt done as hed told her and hed thrown the dolls and the chair across the room.

He might even have thrown Rosie, but he wasnt sure. Hed been in a really bad temper at the time. What normal bloke has dolls in his bedroom? Hed asked her nicely to remove them, and hed had a couple of beers that night when hed hit her so he couldnt be held entirely responsible for his actions. Perhaps on another day when hed been in a better mood he might simply have asked her again to remove them. In any event, the dolls and the frilly chair had gone, together with the flowery duvet cover and the matching pillowcases. Shed heard him the first time when hed told her to get rid of those, and together theyd chosen plain white.

He liked white, it was pure and virginal, which made him feel good and think happy thoughts. The only problem with white as it turned out was that it showed every mark, and the bloodstains never completely disappeared. Even when Rosie scrubbed the stains over and over again and used bleach, the blood spots greyed but were still faintly visible. Once white was damaged it was spoiled for ever.

Now he saw her gaze shift to the fresh spots of blood on the duvet cover. Sorry, she said, her voice quivering. Itll wash out.

No, it wont, he said. Youve ruined it.

Im sorry, she said again. Seeing her cowering in the corner, apologizing with her face covered with blood, reignited his anger. He felt nearly as hot and uncomfortable as when hed discovered that all the beer had gone from the fridge. Hed only had a few bottles and had been expecting to find more. It was a Saturday night for fucks sake, and if a bloke couldnt have a few drinks on a Saturday, what was the world coming to?

It was Rosies job to shop, to buy what they needed and restock what they were low on. But she hadnt bought more beer or vodka because of some silly discussion theyd had after the last time hed hit her about him drinking less. He couldnt remember agreeing to that, it seemed highly unlikely, so hed been bitterly disappointed at the lack of alcohol. Hed been anticipating a pleasant Saturday evening in with Rosie a few beers, a takeaway, and then sex. He liked having sex with Rosie but shed ruined it all. When he asked where the beer and vodka were she reminded him of his promise. It was the wrong thing to say; his disappointment had exploded into anger and hed hit her. He hadnt meant to split her lip and send splatters of blood across the white duvet cover. It had just happened.

He appreciated that she wanted space now. After theyd argued and hed hit her she usually needed time alone to wash her face, clean up the flat and change her clothes, so that when he returned all evidence of their disagreement had gone. She would cover the bruising on her face with make-up and all traces of blood would vanish. He didnt like any reminders of what hed done.