Bob Goff - Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People

CONTENTS

I wrote a book called Love Does a few years ago. We took all the money from the book and opened schools and safe houses, homes for abandoned infants, and orphanages in Somalia, Uganda, Iraq, Nepal, and other countries where regional conflicts have endangered the children living there. It was my first shot at writing a book, and I tried to tell stories of some things Ive learned about the immense power love has in the world. There was supposed to be a second book, but it was never published. This is my third book. Let me tell you why.

A number of years ago, a friend of mine quit the megachurch he pastored in Southern California and moved to the inner city of San Francisco. He wanted to build a community among people who had experienced tremendous failures and setbacks. Hes a humble guy, is generous with his time, loves his family, and really loves God. Rather than spend only a few minutes each week with the thousands of people at the big church he pastored for years, he decided to go deep with a small number of people who had faced some tough breaks. He and a few friends started a restaurant staffed by guys who needed a fresh start and also a home for women who have confronted some of lifes biggest challenges with courage and hope.

These amazing people spend their free time loving people in the housing projects near the restaurant. They give away love like theyre made of it. Like my friend, they do this because they have developed completely unrealistic ideas about what their faith can do in the world when its expressed in love. They decided to spend more time loving people than trying to game the system by just agreeing with Jesus. You see, they wanted to follow Jesus example; instead of telling people what Jesus meant, they just loved people the way He did.

The housing projects are difficult places. Theyre dark and scary and filled with beautiful, scary people. They are full of guns and violence and fights and theft. They are also full of love and compassion and generosity and hope.

These brave men and women from the restaurant seek out people who have felt forgotten and overlooked. They pursue the wrongdoers and disadvantaged and discouraged, and they love them Jesus-stylewith extravagant grace.

On one of the trips to see my friend in San Francisco, I brought a couple of people who work with me. We flew in, rented a van, and headed over to the restaurant to see how we could help. We had been inside washing dishes for about thirty minutes when I went outside to get something out of the van. I was drop-jawed at what I found. All the windows were shattered, pieces of glass scattered on the seats and floorboards. Thieves in the neighborhood had broken in. All our luggage was gone. Oh, and our wallets, cell phones, and laptop computers too.

I had just finished writing the first draft of this book, and it was on my stolen computer. Get this: the manuscript wasnt backed up. (Who needs iCloud? It costs ninety-nine cents a month.) Minor oversight on my part. I had to write the book all over again.

The good news was that I had been thinking about this books idea for a while. A few years earlier, I had been with some dear friends at a large church in Chicago and gave a sermon where I said we need to love everybody, always. It made sense to me, so I decided to write a book about it.

Its hard to believe Jesus loves the van thieves and all the difficult people weve met just the same as you and me. Yet, the incredible message Love came to earth to give was that were all tied for first in Gods mind. While were still trying to get our arms around this idea, God doesnt want us to just study Him like Hes an academic project. He wants us to become love.

Ive heard its hard to write a good second book and that they usually stink. The thieves probably did us all a favor, so lets just call this my third book. Its given me a lot of comfort knowing were all rough drafts of the people were still becoming. I hope this second version of the book moves the needle in a way that reaffirms the power of extravagant love and excessive grace in your life and in the world.

We dont need to be who we used to be; God sees who were becomingand were becoming love.

M y friends and I finished what we were doing at the restaurant and took the windowless van back to the airport. We pulled into the rental lot looking a little windblown, and the attendant stared at us with a puzzled expression. It looked like this when we got it, I told him nonchalantly. Walking away, I tossed the keys to him. I felt like the guy in the movies when he throws a match over his shoulder and the car explodes behind him. Pro tip: If you do throw the match, make sure you dont turn around and look when it blows up. It wrecks the vibe.

I was disappointed everything was stolen, but I figured it would all work out. What I didnt realize was how hard it would be to get back on an airplane to fly home with no identification. I got to the front of the security line, and the guy with a badge asked for my ticket and ID. I reached in my pockets and turned them inside out. I had nothing. I shrugged my shoulders pathetically and said, Man, it all got stolen. My luggage, my wallet, everything. I felt like Jason Bourne.

The TSA guy wasnt very sympathetic. I could understand. He was just doing his job. He asked if there was any way I could prove who I was. I shook my head, then suddenly rememberedI had written a book a while ago. We Googled it, but I forgot the cover only had balloons on it. (I made a mental note to put a huge photo of myself on the cover of this book just in case it happens again, but I bailed on the idea when I saw what my face looked like on a book cover.)

All of this raised a question Ive been thinking about a lot lately. How do we prove who we are? I dont mean who our drivers licenses say we are or what our careers suggest about who we are or who we tell other people we are or who they tell us we are. Jesus talked to His friends a lot about how we should identify ourselves. He said it wouldnt be what we said we believed or all the good we hoped to do someday. Nope, He said we would identify ourselves simply by how we loved people. Its tempting to think there is more to it, but theres not. Love isnt something we fall into; love is someone we become.

Its easy to love kind, lovely, humble people. I mean, who wouldnt? These are the ones Ive spent much of my life loving. Loving the people who are easy to love made me feel like I was really good at it. Because the people I loved were kind and wonderful, they made sure they told me what a great job I was doing loving them. What Ive come to realize, though, is that I was avoiding the people I didnt understand and the ones who lived differently than me. Heres why: some of them creeped me out. Sure, I was polite to them, but sadly, Ive spent my whole life avoiding the people Jesus spent His whole life engaging. Gods idea isnt that we would just give and receive love but that we could actually become love. People who are becoming love see the beauty in others even when their off-putting behavior makes for a pretty weird mask. What Jesus told His friends can be summed up in this way: He wants us to love everybody, alwaysand start with the people who creep us out. The truth is, we probably creep them out as much as they do us.

Are there people you should give a wide berth to? You bet. There are people in my life and yours who are unsafe, toxic, and delight in sowing discord wherever they go. God gave us discernment, and we should use it as we live our lives. Hes also given us love and understanding and kindness and the ability to forgive, which have power we often leave untapped. Theres a difference between good judgment and living in judgment. The trick is to use lots of the first and to go a little lighter on the second.