Renee Hodges - Saving Bobby: Heroes and Heroin in One Small Community

Praise for

SAVING BOBBY

I am sitting on the back porch of our condo bawling. I just finished Saving Bobby and I am filled with a belief that this 349-page book is the bravest thing I have ever seen in print. As Rene Hodges made it so clear in the end and was so apparent in each page, this is her story and maybe her eventual salvation. This process has brought Hodges to her darkest places and she found her salvation there. This sounds simple but I know how really hard that is. No one wants to do that. But she did.

William H. Davis, MD, Orthopedic Surgeon, Medical Director, OrthoCarolina Foot & Ankle Institute

As an orthopaedic surgeon, I can say that we have faced the perfect storm in unwittingly facilitating opioid addiction in our patients.... This has created an environment where the downstream catastrophe of opioid addiction has not been prioritized or even really thought much about. Rene Hodges has now given us a very loud, clear wakeup call that we must heed.... One has to ponder the tremendous good fortune and massive effort required to shepherd Bobby through the process of recovery.

Claude T. Moorman, III, MD, executive director, Duke Sports Sciences Institute and Head Team Physician, Duke Athletics

If you have a recovering substance abuser in your life or even if you dont, this is an engaging read and a page turner. A truly inspiring look at a young man who was on a down-ward spiral until he found the right person to help him.

Linsey L. Hughes, Executive in Residence, Duke Financial Economics Center

Rene Hodges spent a courageous year on the front lines of opiate addiction by taking in her struggling nephew, Bobby. Her story of his addiction odyssey is an all-too-common and silent experience in modern America. This story... exposes how difficult addiction can be, how it can be found anywhererich or poorand ultimately how it may be overcome. Hodgess story grips the reader from the very first page. Out of her experience with her nephew comes an immensely moving and ultimately uplifting portrait of one American family as it confrontsand surmountsaddiction and fear.

Mimi Lukens, Senior Lecturer at Law, Duke Law School

Hodges bravely shares the events leading to Bobbys addiction and places them in contextletting us see family behaviors and cultural patterns that contributed to the challenge. She confronts the stigma of shame surrounding addictionin a real and personal way. The book is also a love story: a story of a woman who refuses to do the convenient thing and give up on her nephew. Its message provides encouragement for the many families that are involved in this same struggle.

Ruth Caccavale, Founder, Bull City Book Club, Durham, North Carolina

Having worked with middle schoolers for years, Ive seen many young people from every socioeconomic group struggle with substance abuse. Addiction in their families, of their friends, and of their own, often resulted in permanent emotional and physical scarring. Teachers and parents will benefit from reading this eye-opening account into what might be an unfamiliar reality.

Denise E. Carr, junior high and middle school science teacher

As a middle school/upper elementary teacher for the past twenty years, this book reminded me how easily and how many people have family members or friends who suffer from addiction. There is no shame or reason to judge; rather, we should accept who they are and offer them support. Everyone should read this book.

Louise Tranchin, middle school and upper elementary teacher

The behind-the-scenes story, which Hodges so beautifully described, was gut-wrenching, but for those searching for hope with a family member or loved one, I believe this book could be life changing.

Becky Wood, AFLAC Senior Sales Rep

As a practicing pediatrician facing the challenges of a growing number of ever younger opioid abusers, and the ripple effect it has on the families and the communities they live in, I find Rene Hodgess book couldnt be more timely. Hodgess straightforward approach, common sense, humor, and honesty bring a heartfelt reality to a growing problem faced by far too many. This book is a must-read for all of us.

Kim Leversedge, MD, Board Certified Pediatrician

Start to tell anyone the premise behind Rene Hodgess remarkable book, and odds are theyll stop you before you get two sentences out. Their faces betray stunned recognitionThats what happened to my brothers youngest daughter; Oh dear heaven, you could be talking about my oldest son; My best friends son died from an overdose when he was twenty, shes never been the samebecause this story, though it is so poignantly Bobby and Renes story, belongs to us all. None of us has gone untouched by this tragic, life-altering epidemic. Saving Bobby strikes a chord in all of us: drawn by the larger picture of a frightening epidemic, we are caught in the gripping drama of the personal. This is a book you cannot put down. This is a story you cannot forgetnor should you.

Dee Mason, journalist, author, playwright, and public speaker

SAVING BOBBY

Copyright 2018 by Rene Hodges

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, digital scanning, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please address She Writes Press.

Published 2018
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN: 978-1631523755 pbk
ISBN: 978-1-63152-376-2 ebk

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017957045

For information, address:
She Writes Press
1563 Solano Ave #546
Berkeley, CA 94707

Book design by Stacey Aaronson

She Writes Press is a division of SparkPoint Studio, LLC.

All company and/or product names may be trade names, logos, trademarks, and/or registered trademarks and are the property of their respective owners.

This work is a memoir. It reflects my experiences and memories as accurately as possible. Some of the names in this book have been changed to respect the privacy of those in my stories. While I have used emails and texts to construct this story, this book was written mostly from memory. I lean toward the dramatic and see life in Technicolor, but I have shared this story as honestly and to the best of my ability as possible.

From Rene:
To Bobby, the most courageous man I know.
To my wonderful husband and children. You are my heart.
To Anne, love for now and eternity.
To Mary, one day.

From Bobby:
To Mom and Dad, Aunt Ne and Uncle Will. To Jeff.

To loving communities everywhereespecially ours.

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.

Paraphrased from Karl Marx

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anas Nin

I didnt go into my nephew Bobbys recovery with any professional experience, but it just stood to reason that if I wanted to help my loved one, I should surround him with an atmosphere of full disclosure and transparency, a supportive place where he could not hide or be hidden. Only later did I realize how many try to conceal their familys struggle with addiction, isolating themselves and causing undue stress and shame. Addiction is not a parenting failure or something to be embarrassed about. Secrecy, cover-ups, excuses, and denial do not help an addictor a recovery. This hiding subtly reinforces that the addiction is a secret and therefore shameful. Being truthful from the get-go also avoids the awkwardness of that inevitable moment when the addiction is discovered by friends.