Ann Braden - The Benefits of Being an Octopus

Copyright 2018 by Ann Braden

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Sky Pony Press, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

First Edition

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are from the authors imagination and used fictitiously.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Kate Gartner

Cover illustration Paul Oakley

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-3748-8

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-3752-5

Printed in the United States of America

For my mom

The history of the octopus illustrates the brains ability to evolve. As they lost their ancestors protective shells they were forced to become more intelligent.

The Octopus: Graceful Cephalopod of the Deep by Derby King

CHAPTER 1

I settle onto the couch with the chocolate pudding I saved from Fridays school lunch. This silence is amazing. Well, its not complete silenceHector is spinning the whirring dragon on his baby seat while he eats Cheeriosbut its pretty close. I savor a spoonful of pudding. How long do I have before Bryce and Aurora burst out of our bedroom arguing about something? When I left them in there Aurora was pretending to be Bryces cat, and he was pretending to feed her milk, but that cant last. I mean, theyre four and three. Thats not how it works. I take another bite with my eye on the bedroom door, but it stays closed.

This never happens.

I glance down at my backpack. My debate prep packet is inside, and Im actually tempted to work on it. Im not a kid who does homework. And I definitely dont do big projects, which usually require glitter and markers and poster board and all sorts of things. None of which I have. Plus, last year in sixth grade, when I actually turned in a poster project, Kaylee Vine announced to the whole class, Everyone! Alert the authorities! Zoey Albro turned in a project. The world must be ending. Then she made that ahgn ahgn ahgn sound like a fire drill, and did it every time she passed me in the hall for the whole next week.

But this project doesnt need any glitter. And everyone else wont have fancy poster boards with foam letters that make my flimsy piece of newsprint that the teacher gave me look like gray toilet paper. All I need is to know somethingand I do. And maybe, just maybe, if I do thisand if I can rock itall the other kids will have their minds blown, and itll be completely satisfying to watch. Who would have guessed, theyll say, that Zoey knew so much cool stuff? I had no idea! I thought I knew who she was, but clearly I didnt at all . Maybe Kaylee Vine would even stop holding her nose and switching seats on the bus to get away from me.

I take out the debate prep packet and lean over the coffee table. Which animal is the best? Support your selection with as many details as possible, including what it takes to survive in a variety of situations. Ms. Rochambeau, the social studies teacher, says this debate will help us understand the debates that led up to the Civil War, and Mr. Peck, the science teacher, says itll be a good assessment of all the work weve been doing about animals.

And the thing is, I already know which animal is best. The octopus. When Bryce was a tantrumming toddler and Aurora was a baby, we moved four times over the course of that year. But the one constant was this little TV/DVD combo that we toted around with us and an old DVD from the library free shelf: The Mysterious and Fascinating World of the Octopus . That DVD would send Bryce into an instant trance, and we watched it so often that I happily memorized every word of it.

Then, last year, when I couldnt go on the sixth grade field trip to the aquarium in Boston (my mom kept forgetting to send in the payment), Ms. Giddings, the guidance counselor, brought me back a book on octopuses.

And actually, octopuses is correct. You dont have to say octopi if you dont want to. The book told me so.

I find a pencil nub at the bottom of my backpack and start filling in the blanks with awesome things. Like their ability to instantly camouflage themselves, which theyre amazing at because they have these things called chromatophores that word was in my bookso the color of their skin can change to match whats around them. They even have muscles that change their skins texture. Of course, it means that when they get mad or nervous they turn red and pimply, but nothings perfect, right?

Ms. Rochambeau will be as surprised as anyone else when I stand up for the debate and use a word like chromatophore .

I settle deeper into the couch. If this were a regular Sunday (or really, any day), Frank would be here, watching TV (usually angry news guys). Frank is Lennys dad, and Lenny is the owner of this trailer. Lenny is also my moms boyfriend, and thats why we get to live here with his nice curtains and end tables that are perfectly aligned with this couch. Lenny even has an alphabetized DVD collection. He also has a recliner that Frank sits in like hes glued to it.

But today Frank went out for a walk to check the tree damage from a recent ice storm, and since Lenny and my mom are both at work, Hector and I get the main room of the trailer to ourselves. So even though Ms. Rochambeau announced that we needed our completed packet to be part of the debate, this time I can actually do it. This time I dont have to be counted out.

Im three pages into the four-page packet when Hector starts throwing the Cheerios all over Lennys nice carpet.

I get down on the floor so I can pick them up. Those are for eating. Not for throwing, I tell him, but he keeps throwing them anyway. I remove his ammunition, so naturally he starts screaming. Thensince Hectors scream seems to work like the Bat signalBryce and Aurora burst out of our bedroom door, trampling all the Cheerios in their path. Bryce is yelling about his imaginary Bucket of Doom. Aurora climbs into my lap and covers her ears.

If I were an octopus, things would be so much easier. Id have one arm to wipe Auroras nose. Two more for holding both kids hands when I pick them up from the Head Start bus stop to keep Bryce from wandering into the street after some rock hes spotted. One to hold Hector and his diaper bag on the afternoons when my mom works at the Pizza Pit. One to adjust my shirt because it doesnt really fit and it can get too revealing if Im not paying attention, and I dont want to be that girl. One so I could do my homework at least some of the time if I wanted. One to pick up the Cheerios that are always on the floor. And the last one to swipe a can of Easy Cheese from the Cumberland Farms convenience store. Because little snowmen out of Easy Cheese are the most magical thing little kids have ever seen. And Easy Cheese letters on a saltine is totally different than having to eat regular saltines. Aurora knew the letter A before she even turned two, thanks to Easy Cheese letters.