Jason Segel - Everything You Need to Know About Nightmares! And How to Defeat Them

Books by Jason Segel and Kirsten Miller

Nightmares!

Nightmares! The Sleepwalker Tonic

Nightmares! The Lost Lullaby

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright 2017 by The Jason Segel Company

Illustrations by Karl Kwasny with illustration assistant Stephanie Pepper

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

Delacorte Press is a registered trademark and the colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

Hardcover ISBN9780385744317 Ebook ISBN9780385384063

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v4.1

a

To Sharon Jackson,
my partner on this journey.
Thank you.
Love,
JS

Each evening when we fall asleep, our minds embark on a journey. If were lucky, we make our way to the Dream Realm, a wonderful world where were able to live out our fondest fantasieslike riding a unicorn, scoring the winning goal at the World Cup, or sneaking into a cheese shop after dark. But more often than wed like, we close our eyes and find ourselves trapped in a sinister world filled with Werewolves and Giant Scaly Things and everything else that goes bump in the night.

This is the Netherworld, the land of Nightmares. We all visit the Netherworld countless times in our livesand by now youve probably learned that it isnt always easy to leave. Night after night, you may find yourself being chased or gobbled or stalked by creatures that seem determined to scare you. The bad news is these Nightmares are every bit as real as you and me. Fortunately, theres some good news too. No matter how gruesome they are, Nightmares cant hurt usand they dont want to either. When they make you shiver, scream, or wet your bed, theyre only doing their jobs.

You see, Nightmares force us to face our fears. Everyone is scared of something. (We could personally list a hundred things.) The Netherworld is where our fears come to life. When you see them, your first instinct is to flee. But that would be a big mistake. You cant run away from a Nightmare. You might manage to escape one night, but your fears will be back to taunt you the next time you fall asleep.

As terrible as this sounds, theres no need to despair. Even the worst Nightmares can be beatenyou just need a little grit, some cleverness, and the courage to stand your ground. If you face your Nightmaresif you dont run awayyou can find a way to make them vanish for good.

This handbook will give you all the advice you need to beat the most common species of Nightmares. Youll learn about their strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. With this book by your bedside, you can rest assured that youre totally prepared for your next trip to the Netherworld.

Good night,

and good luck!

Lurkers and Stalkers are some of the Netherworlds creepiest residents. Unlike other species of Nightmares, theyre rarely seen. The trouble is, they can always see you.

Lurkers and Stalkers like to hide in dense forests, at the bottom of large bodies of water (lakes, oceans, Olympic-size swimming pools), or in dimly lit metropolitan areas. Masters of disguise, they can blend into any background. Lurkers will usually watch you from a distance, while Stalkers prefer to follow you. The good news is, neither group is dangerous. They (almost) never attack. They prefer a slow, steady scare. Nightmares starring Lurkers and Stalkers have been known to drag on for days.

You dont need to see Lurkers or Stalkers to know theyre nearby! Look for these warning signs.

Cold, clammy hands

Hair standing up on the back of your neck

Extra-large goose bumps (spider bitesize)

If youre suffering from one or more of these symptoms, theres probably a Lurker or Stalker around!

You dont know what it is, but you know its out there. Maybe you see yellow eyes glowing in the dark, or hear something prowling among the trees. Or perhaps you catch the unmistakable scent of mushrooms, rotting leaves, and terrible BO. If so, youre dreaming about the Thing in the Woods (TITW).

The star of countless camping-themed nightmares, the Thing has tortured every city kid whos ever gone to summer camp in the country. Call it a monster. Call it a beast. Just dont call it Bigfoot. Its feelings get hurt when its confused with its famous neighbor.

Nightmares about the Thing in the Woods are common when people are expecting big life changes. If youre about to start a new grade at school, move to another town, go to prison, or set off on an expedition along the Amazon River, you may soon find yourself dreaming about the Thing.

Nothings more frightening than the unknown (whether its the future or whatevers under your bed right now). But hiding from things you cant see doesnt work. In the case of Lurkers like the Thing in the Woods, you should take immediate action. Dont cower, and dont run away. Find a flashlight and go out and greet it. (Consider bringing a smore or two in case your Thing is hungry.) As soon as you can see it, youll probably realize that its really not scary at all!

It knows the woods far better than you do.

Unlike you, it can see perfectly well in the dark.

You wont hear it unless it wants you to hear it.

It can unzip a tent.

The TITW may act tough, but its really quite shy. It may run away the first time you introduce yourself.

It can easily be bribed with smores, chocolate-covered granola bars, or burnt campfire marshmallows.