Kleypas - Christmas Eve at Friday Harbour. Lisa Kleypas

Dear Santa

I want just one thing this year

A mom

Please dont forget I live in friday harbor now.
thank you

love
Holly

Until his sisters death, Mark Nolan had treated his niece Holly with the usual offhand affection of a bachelor uncle. He had seen her during the occasional holiday gatherings, and hed always made certain to buy her something for her birthday and for Christmas. Usually gift cards. That had been the limit of his interactions with Holly, and it had been enough.

But everything changed one rain-slicked April night in Seattle, when Victoria had been killed in a car wreck on I-5. Since Victoria had never mentioned a will or any plans she had made for Hollys future, Mark had no idea what would happen to her six-year-old daughter. There was no father in the picture. Victoria had never divulged who he was, even to her close friends. Mark was fairly certain that she had never told the father about Hollys existence.

When Victoria had first moved to Seattle, she had fallen in with a bohemian crowd, a group of musicians and creative types. This had resulted in a string of short-term relationships that had provided all the artistic razzle-dazzle Victoria had craved. Eventually, however, she had been forced to admit that the quest for personal fulfillment had to be balanced with a regular paycheck. Shed applied for a job at a software company and had gotten one in human resources, with decent pay and great benefits. Unfortunately by that time, Victoria had found out she was pregnant.

Its better for everyone if hes not involved, she had told Mark when he had asked who the guy was.

You need some help with this, Mark had protested. At the very least, the guy should live up to his financial obligations. Having a kid isnt cheap.

I can handle it by myself.

Vickbeing a single parent isnt something Id wish on anyone.

The concept of parenting, in any form, freaks you out, Victoria had said. Which is perfectly understandable, coming from our background. But I want this baby. And Ill do a good job.

And she had. Victoria had turned out to be a responsible parent, patient and kind with her only child, protective without being overcontrolling. God knew where such mothering skills had come from. They had to have been instinctive, since Victoria certainly hadnt learned them from her own parents.

Mark knew without a doubt that he didnt have those instincts. Which was why it was a shock upon shock when he learned that he had not only just lost a sister, he had gained a child.

Being named as Hollys guardian was nothing he had ever anticipated. He knew his own capabilities about most things, and he had a good idea of what he probably would be able to do in situations he hadnt yet encountered. But thistaking care of a childthis was beyond him.

If Holly had been a boy, he mightve had half a chance. Boys werent all that hard to figure out. The entire female gender, on the other hand, was a mystery. Mark had long ago accepted that women were complicated. They said things like, If you dont already know, Im not going to tell you. They never ordered their own desserts, and when they asked your opinion on which outfit to wear, they always wore the one you didnt pick. Still, although Mark would never claim to understand women, he adored them: their elusiveness, the surprises of them, their intricate, fascinating shifts of mood.

But to actually raise oneJesus, no. The stakes were too high. There was no way he could set a good enough example. And guiding a daughter through the treacherous, tricky climate of a society that presented every kind of pitfallGod knew he had no qualifications for that.

Mark and his siblings had been raised by parents whose version of marriage had been a war of attrition in which their children had been used as pawns. As a result, the three Nolan brothersMark, Sam, and Alexhad been fine with the idea of going their separate ways upon reaching adulthood. Victoria, on the other hand, had craved the kind of connection their family had never been able to muster. She had finally found it in Holly, and that had made her feel lucky.

But one wrong half turn of a steering wheel, one patch of wet road, one out-of-control moment, and the amount of life measured out to Victoria Nolan had run cruelly short.

Victoria had left a sealed letter, addressed to Mark, kept in a file with the will.

Theres no other choice but you. Holly doesnt know Sam or Alex at all. I write this hoping that youll never have to read it, but if you aretake care of my daughter, Mark. Help her. She needs you. I know how overwhelming this responsibility must seem. Im sorry. I know you didnt ask for this. But you can do it. Youll figure everything out.

Just start by loving her. The rest will follow.

Youre really going to take her? Sam had asked Mark on the day of the funeral, after a reception at Victorias house. It had been eerie to see everything the way shed left it: the books in the bookcase, a pair of shoes tossed carelessly to the closet floor, a tube of lip gloss on the bathroom counter.

Of course Im going to take her, Mark said. What else can I do?

Theres Alex. Hes married. Why didnt Vick leave Holly to him and Darcy?

Mark gave him a speaking glance. Their youngest brothers marriage was like a virus-ridden computeryou couldnt open it in safe mode, and it ran programs that seemed harmless but performed all kinds of malicious functions.

Would you leave your kid to them? he asked.

Slowly, Sam shook his head. I guess not.

So you and I are all Hollys got.

Sam gave him a wary look. Youre the one whos signing on for this, not me. Theres a reason Vick didnt name me as her guardian. Im not good with kids.

Youre still Hollys uncle.

Yes, uncle. My responsibilities are limited to making jokes about body functions and drinking too much beer at family cookouts. Im not the dad type.

Neither am I, Mark said grimly. But we have to try. Unless you want to sign her up for foster care.

Scowling, Sam rubbed his face with both hands. What is Shelbys take on this?

Mark shook his head at the mention of his girlfriend, an interior decorator he had met when she had been decorating the high-end house of a friend on Griffin Bay. Ive only been going out with her a couple of months. Shell either deal with it or bailthats up to her. But Im not going to ask her for help. This is my responsibility. And yours.

Maybe I could babysit sometime. But dont count on much help; Ive sunk everything I have into the vineyard.

Exactly what I told you not to do, genius.

Sams eyes, the same blue-green as his own, narrowed. If I listened to your advice, Id be making your mistakes instead of my own. He paused. Where does Vick keep the booze?

Pantry. Mark went to a cabinet, found two glasses, and filled them with ice.

Sam rummaged through the pantry. It feels weird, drinking her liquor when shesgone.

Shed be the first to tell us to go ahead.

Probably right. Sam came to the table with a bottle of whiskey. Did she have life insurance?

Mark shook his head. She let it lapse.