Philip Wylie - Gladiator

Gladiator

Philip Wylie

ONCE upon a time in Colorado lived a man named Abednego Danner and his wife, Matilda. Abednego Danner was a professor of biology in a small college in the town of Indian Creek. He was a spindling wisp of a man, with a nature drawn well into itself by the assaults of the world and particularly of the grim Mrs. Danner, who understood nothing and undertook all. Nevertheless these two lived modestly in a frame house on the hem of Indian Creek and they appeared to be a settled and peaceful couple.

The chief obstacle to Mrs. Banners placid dominion of her hearth was Professor Banners laboratory, which occupied a room on the first floor of the house. It was the one impregnable redoubt in her domestic stronghold. Neither threat nor entreaty would drive him and what she termed his stinking, unchristian, unhealthy dinguses from that room. After he had lectured vaguely to his classes on the structure of the Paramedium cadatum and the law discovered by Mendel, he would shut the door behind himself, and all the fury of the stalwart, black-haired woman could not drive him out until his own obscure ends were served.

It never occurred to Professor Danner that he was a great man or a genius. His alarm at such a notion would have been pathetic. He was so fascinated by the trend of his thoughts and experiments, in fact, that he scarcely realized by what degrees he had outstripped a world that wore picture hats, hobble skirts, and straps beneath its trouser legs. However, as the century turned and the fashions changed, he was carried further from them, which was just as well.

On a certain Sunday he sat beside his wife in church, singing snatches of the hymns in a doleful and untrue voice and meditating, during the long sermon, on the structure of chromosomes. She, bolt upright and overshadowing him, like a coffin in the pew, rigid lest her black silk rustle, thrilled in some corner of her mind at the picture of hell and salvation.

Mr. Danners thoughts turned to Professor Mudge, whose barren pate showed above the congregation a few rows ahead of him. There, he said to himself, sat a stubborn and unenlightened man. And so, when the weekly tyranny of church was ended, he asked Mudge to dinner. That he accomplished by an argument with his wife, audible the length of the aisle.

They walked to the Danner residence. Mrs. Danner changed her clothes hurriedly, basted the roast, made milk sauce for the string beans, and set three places. They went into the dining-room. Danner carved, the homemade mint jelly was passed, the bread, the butter, the gravy; and Mrs. Danner dropped out of the conversation, after guying her husband on his lack of skill at his task of carving.

Mudge opened with the usual comment. Well, Abednego, how are the bloodstream radicals progressing?

His host chuckled. Excellently, thanks. Some day Ill be ready to jolt you hidebound biologists into your senses.

Mudges left eyebrow lifted. So? Still the same thing, I take it? Still believe that chemistry controls human destiny?

Almost ready to demonstrate it, Danner replied.

Along what lines?

Muscular strength and the nervous discharge of energy.

Mudge slapped his thigh. Ho ho! Nervous discharge of energy. You assume the human body to be a voltaic pile, eh? Thats good. Ill have to tell Cropper. Hell enjoy it.

Danner, in some embarrassment, gulped a huge mouthful of meat. Why not? he said. Look at the insectsthe ants. Strength a hundred times our own. An ant can carry a large spideryet an ant is tissue and fiber, like a man. If a man could be given the same sinewshe could walk off with his own house.

Ha ha! Theres a good one. Maybe youll do it, Abednego.

Possibly, possibly.

And you would make a splendid piano-mover.

Pianos! Pooh! Consider the grasshoppers. Make a man as strong as a grasshopper

and hell be able to leap over a church. I tell you, there is something that determines the quality of every muscle and nerve. Find ittransplant itand you have the solution.

Mirth overtook Professor Mudge in a series of paroxysms from which he emerged rubicund and witty. Probably your grasshopper man will look like a grasshoppermore insect than man. At ;least, Danner, you have imagination.

Few people have, Danner said, and considered that he had acquitted himself.

His wife interrupted at that point. I think this nonsense has gone far enough. It is wicked to tamper with Gods creatures. It is wicked to discuss such mattersespecially on the Sabbath. Abednego, I wish you would give up your work in the laboratory.

Danners cranium was overlarge and his neck small; but he stiffened it to hold himself in a posture of dignity. Never.

His wife gazed from the defiant pose to the locked door visible through the parlor.

She stirred angrily in her clothes and speared a morsel of food. Youll be punished for it.

Later in the day Mudge and Gropper laughed heartily at the expense of the formers erstwhile host. Danner read restively. He was forbidden to work on the Sabbath. It was his only compromise. Matlida Danner turned the leaves of the Bible and meditated in a partial vacuum of day-dreams.

On Monday Danner hastened home from his classes. During the night he had had a new idea. And a new idea was a rare thing after fourteen years of groping investigation.

Alkaline radicals, he murmured as he crossed his lawn. He considered a group of ultra-microscopic bodies. He had no name for them. They were the determinants of which he had talked. He locked the laboratory door behind himself and bent over the microscope he had designed. Huh! he said. An hour later, while he stirred a solution in a beaker, he said:

Huh! again. He repeated it when his wife called him to dinner. The room was a maze of test tubes, bottles, burners, retorts, instruments. During the meal he did not speak. Afterwards he resumed work. At twelve he prepared six tadpole eggs and put them to hatch. It would be his three hundred and sixty-first separate tadpole hatching.

Then, one day in June, Danner crossed the campus with unusual haste. Birds were singing, a gentle wind eddied over the town from the slopes of the Rocky Mountains, flowers bloomed. The professor did not heed the re-burgeoning of nature. A strange thing had happened to him that morning. He had peeped into his workroom before leaving for the college and had come suddenly upon a phenomenon.

One of the tadpoles had hatched in its aquarium. He observed it eagerly, first because it embodied his new idea, and second because it swam with a rare activity. As he looked, the tadpole rushed at the side of its domicile. There was a tinkle and a splash. It had swum through the plate glass! For an instant it lay on the floor. Then, with a flick of its tail, it flew into the air and hit the ceiling of the room.

Good Lord! Danner said. Old years of work were at an end. New years of excitement lay ahead. He snatched the creature and it wriggled from his grasp. He caught it again. His fist was not sufficiently strong to hold it. He left it, flopping in eight-foot leaps, and went to class with considerable suppressed agitation and some reluctance. The determinant was known. He had made a living creature abnormally strong.

When he reached his house and unlocked the door of the laboratory, he found that four tadpoles, in all, had hatched. Before they expired in the unfamiliar element of air, they had demolished a quantity of apparatus.

Mrs. Danner knocked on the door. Whats been going on in there?

Nothing, her husband answered.

Nothing! It sounded like nothing! What have you got there? A cat?

Noyes.

WellI wont have such goings on, and thats all there is to it.

Danner collected the debris. He buried the tadpoles. One was dissected first. Then he wrote for a long time in his notebook. After that he went out and, with some difficulty, secured a pregnant cat. A week later he chloroformed the tabby and inoculated her. Then he waited. He had been patient for a long time. It was difficult to be patient now.