Mark Gatiss - Devil in Amber (Lucifer Box 2)

Have you read these other titles in the Bunsen Book Club?

WITH VINEGAR AND BROWN PAPER

by Ariadne Oliver

When newly-wed couple Silly and Sausage decide their lives need a little spicing up, they get more than they bargained for! The odious Colonel Fleming is found stabbed through the ears on a golf links and only our intrepid twosome stand between local simpleton Tommy Wideawake and the gallows

HELLO, MR QUARMBY!

by Todd Wakefield

Twelve mysteries from the acclaimed author of Really, Mr Quarmby!, Stop that, Mr Quarmby! and Mr Quarmby Runs Riot. Readers will welcome these new tales featuring the deaf, dumb and blind Welsh detective as he once again pits his wits against the most devious of criminals and the irascible Scotland Yard Detective, Inspector Pump.

LEAN BROWN

by Sandy Maltravers

Five years after his explosive introduction in Clean Grit, Ronald Stride finds himself pitch-forked into a one-man campaign against a crazed troupe of Prussian snorkellers hell-bent on resurrecting the Kaisers cause and planting the German flag in Parliament Square. Its a tight spot for Stride but, as his mentor Baba Carrington puts it: He was shut up at Mafeking with Baden-Powell and knows a thing or two. Together, Stride, Carrington and the lanky American agent Teddy W. Greatorex get athwart of the enemys plotting and are soon set fair for a final confrontation with a grotesque Count Von Stummup.

TERRIER MASTERSON HITS OUT

by Slapper

Re-enter Tom Terrier Masterson! The hero of The Darkie Gang is once more bored with civilian life and determined to give the enemies of the Empire a good kicking. But will Terrier and his two fists be enough to foil the machinations of sinister mastermind The Scallywog? Another terrific shocker from the author of That Hat Means Murder.

THEY WORE DARK TROUSERS

by Tenacious Beatme

Plucked from semi-retirement by a desperate British Government on the eve of the Battle of the Somme, the Comte de Cointreau must re-unite his old pals for one last desperate venture that takes them to the very heart of the German war-machine! Can bluff Randy Robinson, wily Sacha Goldilox and the Comte himself outwit the combined forces of the Wilhelmstrasse and the heathen magic of the fabled lost continent of Atlantis? Another rattling tale of sorcery, flogging, high-adventure, whipping, facial disfigurement and spanking from the author of The Bad Black, Das Ist Verboten, Strange Document and Satans Succubus.

UP PLUTOS CORE

by Edward Fleisch-Cutter

The planet Pluto hollow? Absurd? Or so the worlds scientists believed until Professor Potty and his chum Douglas Strongarm turned their gigantic space-rocket-cum-drill towards it! Burrowing deep below the Plutonian dust, the intrepid adventurers happen upon the long-lost kingdom of Longlostikara land where Pluto-dinosaurs still roam and Pluto-men with a thousand heads and blue thighs battle for dominance! Part of the thrilling Pluto sequence that includes King of Pluto, Ulnomia, Queen of Pluto, Lord Mayor of Pluto and Dirty Pluto.

First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2006
First published by Pocket Books, 2007
An imprint of Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
A CBS COMPANY

Copyright Mark Gatiss, 2006

This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
No reproduction without permission.
and 1997 Simon & Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.
Pocket Books & Design is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster Inc.

The right of Mark Gatiss to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
Africa House
64-78 Kingsway
London WC2B 6AH

www.simonsays.co.uk

Simon & Schuster Australia
Sydney

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously
Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

ISBN-13: 978-1-84739-668-6
ISBN-10: 1-84739-668-2

For WinnieGather the rose of love whilst yet is time

Contents

Acknowledgements

Thanks to Ian Bass, Caroline Chignell, Edward Fitzwilliam Hedley, Jon Plowman, Martin and Tim Stainthorpe, Nigel Stoneman, Rochelle Venables (for devilish editing) and to Ian, as ever, with all my love.

If you value your souls, dont look in its eyes.

Fallen Idle

H e was an American, so it seemed only fair to shoot him.

Id already winged the beggar oncesomewhere in the region of his flabby calvesand was now in hot pursuit with the tenacity for which Im mildly famous. For reasons too dreary to dwell on, I found myself clinging to the running board of a motor car, wind whipping at my face, positively pelting through the choked streets of Manhattan. Ahead of me loomed the gorgeous elegance of the new Chrysler Building, thrusting like a sword into the cold, brilliant blue sky. Ice and sun glinted off its exterior; sharp as a pin in the eye.

For those of you not in the know (dear me, where have you been ?), my name is Lucifer Box: painter, occasional memoir-scribbler and agent (most secret) for His Majestys Government. Sad it is to relate that my artistic career was somewhat in the doldrums. Fashion, that gay but inconstant dog, had moved on and I was regarded with some suspicion by the bright lads of the new school. Pass, old-hat, preWar (the Great one, you understand: although thered been nothing particularly great about it from my point of view). Between the Surrealists and the Cubists and the Whatsists, there seemed precious little demand for a spectacularly good portrait painter such as yours truly. Oh, dont protest! Modesty is for amateurs .

Even the landed gentry who had once positively drenched me in commissions seemed in thrall to the damned new religion of photography, and were busy cramming the green-damask walls of their country piles with horrid daguerreotypes of their scarcely smiling selves. And so here was I, the gorgeous butterfly of King Berties reign: middle-aged and rather neglected, my hair shorter and greyingthough my figure still as trim as a boys, thank you very much.

Crouched low against the cold metal of the motor, I peered at my distorted reflection in the window. Still a head-turner, no doubt about it, and those eyes no less blue, no less cold and clear.

So much for Art! Happily I had other interests and when not exhibiting my daubs to an increasingly bored public, I was engaged, as Ive said, doling out death and violence as gleefully as I did Crimson Alizarin or Mars Yellow. Every man should have a hobby.

Trouble was, of late the glee had rather gone out of this too. But I mustnt get ahead of myself.

The chap Id been assigned to bump off on this charming December day was called Hubbard. Hubbard the Cupboard, dont you know (the Colonials like their schoolyard nick-names), his curious moniker coming not only from his ungainly shape but from his being a dealer in stolen goods. It was said Hubbards cupboard was never bare.