'As warm and entertaining as Herriot, Emma's sense of humour shines through the trials and triumphs of the life of a vet.'
Steve Leonard
'A great little book that will make both tails and tongues wag.'
David Bellamy
'Right from the Introduction any animal lover will be drawn into this enchanting and amusing account of veterinary life. Emma Milnetells of her early career as a vet in practice, in a brilliantly honest and warm way, vividly recounting the ups and downs of the novice vet.A highly entertaining read coupled with the obvious passion that Emma has for her subject matter. James Herriot, in his countrypractice, would have much in common with this version of life as an animals' doctor.'
Clarissa Baldwin OBE
'Emma is a classic twenty-first-century vet; young, female and opinionated, with reality-television celebrity status. Her tales ofanimals, farmers, pet owners and television cameras are both engaging and entertaining.'
Pete Wedderburn, the Daily Telegraph vet
'A bluntly honest and eye-opening book that takes one on a most fascinating journey behind the traditional "shop front" of theveterinary world an absolute must-read for all animal lovers.'
Allen Parton, author of Endal
'Funny and pertinent to all of us who have pets, and probably disturbing for those that don't!'
Rick Wakeman
'This book is delightful, amusing and honest, like Emma.'
Christopher Timothy
'A sensitive but sometimes harrowing account of the challenges facing a greenhorn vet directly out of vet school. I found this book a joy toread. I could relate to the fears and exhilaration that Emma felt in those early days and how her confidence gained momentum. Thelearning curve will continue through her life, but with Emma at the helm, it could only be good for our animal friends.'
Terry Nutkins
'I have every respect for someone who can put their hand up a half-ton cow, and then pull it out to write so engagingly about theexperience.'
Andrew Dilger, author of Dash: Bitch of the Year
'Like reading a transcript of my first job, Tales from the Tail End captures a vet's journey from student to practicing clinicianbrilliantly... with liberal yet totally well-founded splatterings of crazy when describing our beloved clients and ourselves. A great read!'
Scott Miller
TALES FROM THE TAIL END
Copyright Emma Milne, 2012
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced by any means, nor transmitted, nor translated into a machine language, without the written permission of the publishers.
The right of Emma Milne to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Condition of Sale
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.
Summersdale Publishers Ltd
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PO19 1RP
UK
www.summersdale.com
eISBN: 978-0-85765-664-3
Substantial discounts on bulk quantities of Summersdale books are available to corporations, professional associations and other organisations. For details telephone Summersdale Publishers on (+44-1243-771107), fax (+44-1243-786300) or email (nicky@summersdale.com).
Emma Milne
with a foreword by Brian Blessed
For Mum and Dad for teaching me that childhoods full of laughter, love and happiness are the richest there are.
About the author
Emma Milne qualified from Bristol Vet School in 1996 and was featured in all eleven series of the BBC television programme Vets in Practice. Since qualifying, Emma has been a general veterinary practitioner, and she has also worked in television and media and written for many publications. Her passion for animal welfare has led her to become involved with several charities, and she is also a patron of Dogs Trust and a trustee of the BVA Animal Welfare Foundation. In 2008 she received the International Fund for Animal Welfare Vet of the Year award for highlighting their work in the townships of South Africa.
You can read more about Emma at her website, www.emmathevet.co.uk, and follow her on Twitter, @EmmaMilneTheVet.
Contents
Foreword by Brian Blessed
Introduction
Chapter 1
About as much use as a kick in the
Chapter 2
Whatever the weather
Chapter 3
This is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothin'
Chapter 4
To sleep, perchance to dream
Chapter 5
Mirror, mirror, on the wall...
Chapter 6
Brian strikes again
Chapter 7
Stick it to me
Chapter 8
Till Death Us Do Part
Chapter 9
There's now't as queer as folk
Chapter 10
What goes in doesn't always come out
Chapter 11
It really shouldn't happen to a vet
Afterword
Foreword
by Brian Blessed
Reading this book has proved to be a delightful, stunning experience. It is a celebration, an account of some of the adventures in the early life of a young vet. I simply couldn't put it down! Emma Milne writes with gravitas and soul, combined with a rare gift for infectious humour. You must forgive me if I sound too exuberant. I must confess that I am totally biased towards the whole veterinary profession!
The other day I had the task of pushing a chubby Shetland pony out of the kitchen as it devoured the dog food and filled the floor with a good supply of manure. For the past 45 years everything I have earned has gone on protecting our livestock. Scores of different farmyard ducks: Aylesburies, Khaki Campbells, Muscovies, black Cayugas, raucous Call Ducks plus dozens of hens, not to mention numerous ponies and dogs and cats and birds of the air who eat us out of house and home, a veritable 'Noah's Ark' made possible by the love, energy and care of our vets. In all weathers they turn up and perform minor miracles. It is often said by the discerning that qualifying to be a vet is a harder test than becoming a GP. They have my unstinting admiration.
This book is a tour de force Emma is such a terrific writer. Vets in Practice was a wonderful TV series. I never missed an episode.
Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, I urge you to immerse yourself in this book and emerge at the end with every cell in your body happily changed!