Ambrose Ibsen [Ibsen - The Splendor of Fear

You are going to go, right?

I looked to the kitchen counter, where I'd gathered my supplies for the trip. I'd arranged a brand new sleeping bag, a duffel full of clothing, a backpack stuffed with toiletries and other odds and ends there in a neat pile. With one hand on my brow and the other pressing the phone to my ear, I grunted. I went out and bought the supplies, didn't I? Picking at the sales tag on the sleeping bagwhich I hadn't trimmed away yet in the hopes that I might return it and recoup my investmentI added, It's only for two nights and he won't shut up about it. My hands are tied.

Diana laughedcackled. Penny, you're being a real brat. If my boyfriend planned a romantic weekend getaway with me, I'd be hella excited. Especially if I thought he might use it as an excuse to propose! Keep acting like this and you're gonna break Jared's heart.

Easy for you to say. I seem to remember your boyfriend proposed to you at a resort in Cabo. Or am I misremembering? Jaredif he's going to pop the question at allis going to drag me into the woods for two nights of fishing. I don't even eat fish, Di. It's going to be hell. I paced into the living room and took a glance out the window. Jared had been gone almost an hour, picking up some last minute gear for our trip, and a careful search up and down the road showed no signs of his return. The sun was bowing out for the day and a weak breeze set the curtains rustling as I dropped onto the sofa. And say he does propose...

You are going to say yes, aren't you? Diana was quick to ask. You and Jared are perfect. You've been together for, what, five years now?

Six.

Right. Don't you think it's time to... She paused, chuckling, and then resumed with evident amusement. Settle down? Tie the knot? You're not getting any younger, girl.

I groaned like I'd been punched in the stomach. Gee, thanks. You sound like my damn mother, you know that? 'If you don't marry him soon he's going to find someone younger. Marry and pop out some kids before your ovaries shrivel up, or else start hoarding cats!' I'm twenty-six, Di. Hardly geriatric. And, you know, I think we're both perfectly happy with how things are going right now. We're comfortable. Marriage and... kids... all that domestic stuff... I don't know if we're there yet.

I could practically hear Diana rolling her eyes as she sighed into the phone. Just go and try to have fun. I mean, what would you do otherwise? Sit around in your pajamas binging Netflix? This will be good for you. You might even like it.

There's nothing wrong with watching Netflix all day. They've got all of Friends on there again. That show is a national treasure.

Maybe your mother is right, countered Diana.

What about?

If you get a start now, you could manage a pretty respectable collection of cats. She laughed to herself. Call me when you get back, OK? Let me know how it went. And if you do get a ring, I want pictures!

Yeah, will do.

The call ended, and where usually I'd have been happy to kvetch with Diana late into the night, the new silence proved far more relaxing than her inquisition had been. Pitching my heels up onto the edge of the ottoman, I turned once again to the window and peered into the dusk for my boyfriend's headlights. No sign of the Jeep.

It was at this time of night that I usually plucked a pint of Haagen-Dazs from the freezer and pared down the remaining episodes of The Office waiting on my Netflix queue, but as I eyed the TV remote I couldn't bring myself to do it. There were other things on my mind.

Are you really going to go on this stupid trip?

Well, sure I was. What choice did I have? If I pulled out at the last minute, I'd be forced to deal with Jared's sulking. What's more, if he really was planning to propose to me on this trip, then I'd run the risk of ruining everything by staying home.

You do want him to propose, don't you?

The question just hung there.

Jared and I had been together for six yearsour best years, I supposedand we liked each other pretty well. He knew what kind of cereal I liked and was pretty good about getting his dirty socks in the hamper. I'd convinced him to ditch the crappy body sprays of his youth and to wear proper cologne during our weekly date nights. I was content to let him go hiking or fishing with his friends now and then, and during my periodic Pride and Prejudice jags, he'd sit patiently beside me on the couch and listen to me wax poetic about how Colin Firth was truly the best Mr. Darcy.

Marriage was the next logical step, right?

We'd started dating during our sophomore year at Moorlake University, and from the very start, people in our social circles had remarked on how simpatico we were. When we moved in together after graduation, renting a little one-story ranch-style in Moorlake for six-hundred a month, those same friends made a very big deal about it and even started a betting pool to see how long it would take us to tie the knot.

Well, years had passed, and now we had the ironic distinction of being the only paring in our circle that remained unmarried. That's right: His friends were all married now, and so were mine. A few of them had started having kids, buying houses, moving far away from our little college town and embarking on very adult-sounding adventures, whereas Jared and I kept haunting the same downtown bars we'd patronized as undergrads.

In all the years we'd been together, we'd barely spoken about marriage. When the subject had come up, it had always been in reference to someone else's news. Diana and John are getting married! or It looks like someone's having a wedding reception at the botanical garden todaywe should put on fancy clothes and sneak in for some free drinks! On those occasions when we had discussed the possibility of marriage between the two of uswhich were exceedingly rarewe'd always just had a laugh, as if to say, Marriage. Wouldn't that be something?

I'd always looked at the matter this way: Marriage was something that would happen naturally when the time came and it finally felt right, or else the two of us weren't suited for it and we'd just live out the rest of our days as loving roommates with benefits.

Recent developments had brought the subject to the fore of my mind, though.

I'd heard through the grapevine that Jared had been talking with friends of his about their marriages, about financing wedding rings, and that he'd even asked one of them for advice on finding a good jeweler. Furthermore, Jared wasn't much in the habit of arranging trips for the two of us to go on, and certainly he wouldn't think to drag his homebody of a girlfriend into the wilderness without good reason. His recent chats with friends had me thinking that this trip was a put-on; that he'd lately begun to consider the marriage question and wanted to do something romantic and memorable as a prelude to proposing.