Belladona Cunning [Cunning - Tease Me, Baby: A Reverse Harem High School Bully Romance (Silver Creek High Book 2)

I feel like death. Like a vast void of nothingness surrounds me.

Ever since leaving Callums house on Friday, Ive been in this mind-numbing fog. Its dense, and I cant seem to shake it no matter what I do. Its like this looming presence nearly strangling me of all oxygen. My body feels so beat down and exhausted, it takes a lot for me to get up and take care of my needs. I feel so hollow, wornlike a knife being thrust into my body, twisted into my soul, and slit me right down the middle.

I finally got to explain my side of the story, tell them every miniscule detail, no matter how ugly. I thought I would feel a hundred times better after baring myself to them, but instead, I feel worse. I cant fathom why, either. I did what I set out to do, its what I was waiting for.

How is that possible? If anything, I should feel lighter, free. That night, my wings should have unfurled, flapping me into a new state of happiness. Except now, I feel like the tether around my heart and throat only tightened more. Why do I feel like a part of myself fled the moment I walked through his door for the last time? Remembering the look on his face, as if I truly wounded him will be what haunts me the most.

The only explanation I can come up with is because of what Callum did to me. During my months of hating him, I didnt stop to consider why until the opportunity was right in front of me. How he carelessly threw away a potential future between us the moment he came back to Silver Creek by choosing her.

I know, it sounds insane, right? Fighting within yourself to hate someone you used to hold so much love for. Its practically blasphemous. But that doesnt mean my heart is capable of such emotion, not anymore. He stole that away from me, threw it on the ground, then stomped all over it.

I can take the bullying, the harassmentbut I cant take the thought of Callum choosing Alessandra twice. Twice . He disregarded the pure, unadulterated hatred I have for that bitch, and played on those feelings. Hes a mindfuck. He should have known better; should have known none of this would end well.

Now, the first time, Ill let slide. When someone is under the influence, you cant hold them accountable for their actions if it was you pushing them to get that way. I made Callum drink, forced him to get lost in the partys ambiance, so that later, we could consummate our relationship without fear, anxiety, or pain. Did that make me a fool to do that? Should I have welcomed the pain, instead? Probably, but its not something I can change now.

No matter how much his presence draws me in, tantalizing me in a state of need, I cant. It will only get me hurt again. Except this time, Im not sure Ill survive the fallout. They can tease me, taunt me, but I cant give in. I cannot allow my heart to sway toward them. No matter how much my body enjoys the idea of doing just that.

Beneath it all, I guess thats what makes it so difficult. My body wants all of them, but my heart and mind know traveling down that path will only lead to demise, pain I wont be able to overcome again. It made little sense to me until I took the time to think everything over.

It makes me so upset just thinking about her and him together. The tendrils of fire in my stomach swirl with ideas of revenge. When I think about Callum showing her, the queen bitch, the same softness he tried showing me Friday grates on my nerves, or what little I have left.

He knows how much I hate that girl. Actually, hate may be too tame of a wordI loathe the very ground she walks on. If she were to get hit by a bus today, Id happily stand back and watch. Alessandra has done nothing but put me through Hell, and if it makes me heartless to want something like that, then I must be doing my job. Why would any harm that befalls her worry me? You can only act a certain way for so long before it all starts crumbling down around your feet.