Devyn Regueira [Regueira - Permian- Emissary of the Extinct

Installment One

Welcome, welcome, pleasure to see you, please pick a seat and stick to it.

Twenty-nine, lanky, bespectacled, and a victim of his own first name, Every Daniels could not be blamed for pinning authoritativeness to the end of his long list of allergies. It was only in the early moments of his first lecture that he realized there might be a cure.

Settle down, pilgrims.

If there was a cure for awkward humor, Every hadnt begun to look.

Welcome to General Anthro studies, week two. I have no doubt that youve all had your fill of syllabus jargon, but theres a final announcement relating to the class that I have to make before we can finally get our hands dirty.

Every took a breath deep enough to know the shape of his ribcage behind the second of five flannel shirts he cycled through in accordance with a weekly ritual.

Today marks our third meeting. For me, it will be the last.

Every could not blame his students for their lack of response. A pair of hour-and-a-half long lectures, neither having strayed far from test scheduling and the evils of plagiarism, had been poor facilitators of the bond hed grown so fond of across his tenure. Some, no doubt those especially meticulous few who researched every professor before committing themselves to a class, chattered amongst themselves.

Ive left a box of tissues for each of you under your desks. Feel free to use them. There is no judgement here.

One student, gullible or curious or genuinely distressed - none could be sure - took too conspicuous a glance between her feet. There was no box of tissues, only laughter.

Quiet down, everyone, please. Maam, I do appreciate the sentiment.

The freshman transfer from Japan hid behind her hair and slouched in her seat. Every continued despite the twinge of guilt.

I have not been fired, in case you were wondering. Still too crafty for that. No, I am leaving of my own accord, and the accord of our Federal government, who art in Heaven , and for a very special reason.

Everys hands were drawn together in false prayer, and his eyes remained closed when he parted them.

I think I told you that I was invited to spend the long weekend in Russia - Siberia, specifically. To be true, I had been given no explanation, and it would be fair to say I had no reason to expect a warmer welcome than Napoleon himself.

A smile then rooted itself across the professors face, unique before an auditorium that brimmed with phone-lit chins and supported a thimbles worth of polite attention. Every still could not blame them for their disinterest, and certainly he did not expect it to last.

Its not every day you get a ticket in the mail with your name on it, out of the blue, no return address to speak of. But after four weeks trying to talk myself out of it ended in a hung jury, I layered my cats bowl with two days dry and two days wet and hopped in a cab. Even Napoleon got a private island out of his visit. Whats the worst that could happen to me?

Someone coughed in a manufactured way. Two more came in answer, and Every identified the matching fraternity hats on their heads, and still he harbored no resentment toward them. Due time.

I was met at the airport - pardon - at the tarmac - by fifteen blacked-out, bulletproofed S-classes. A motorcade packed with ten Russian generals for each they thought the French army was worth and fifty times the horsepower.

Every adjusted his glasses as the coughing reached a crescendo.

I know it sounds like Im bragging, I know , but Ill ask that you reserve your judgements. I havent had much cause to train myself in the art of humility before now.

Were they wearing beaver hats?

The voice was male and slurred. Beginning at 11:30 sharp, his first of two Tuesday-Thursday lectures, Every passively wondered whether it were the slur of a long night or an early start.

Many of them were, now that I think about it.

In Soviet Russia, radio listen to you.

Early start. Years of therapy and stringent routine had made Everys confidence robust enough to allow for public speaking, a prerequisite for his current position to be sure. Neither were enough in their own right, however, to silence a deep seated social anxiety that survived to nag him in echoes from early childhood.

Quite right, young man. And you can be sure that the practice outlived the Union.

Every glanced at the entrance. Hung above the double doors, an analog clock scolded him for being too liberal with his time.

Allow me to get to the point. Ill ask that you put your phones away now. Treat the next hour like a test. If I see a screen, it means cheating. Cheating means expulsion.

More coughing.

A man in, well, a beaver hat, took my suitcase. Another man in another hat took me by the arm. After a short walk and a conversation more one-sided than racquetball, they sat me all alone in the back of a limousine. A long drive and two paper bags full of vomit later, my new friends and I squeezed into a single prop plane to begin an unguided tour of the motherland from ten thousand feet.

Flying makes me nervous, if you can believe it, so the only sightseeing I did was of a rosary the pilot was kind enough to lend me when the turbulence hit. I regret that now.

Having rehearsed it since he stepped onto the international flight home, this was the point in the account that Every expected would begin to draw attention. Even the girl hed played no small part in humiliating parted her bangs.

We landed on an asphalt strip that looked like it hadnt had the chance to dry. It couldve been on fire, didnt make a difference to me so long as it was close to sea level. But the second I was out of that cabin, the moment my feet were underneath me, I nearly knocked myself out trying to get back inside.

What was it? asked the Japanese student.

Was it a pretty girl? proposed the binge drinker.

Worse admitted Every. He preceded his next sentence, and nearly every sentence thereafter, with a sip from the bottle his students could be forgiven for assuming was filled with water.

I suppose its probably just the second semester here for most of you, but has anyone had the opportunity to take Professor Bonmans Earth History course?

A half-dozen hands cast their fluorescent shadows across rows of cushioned seats.

Count yourselves lucky, Bonman is one of our best, Every shook his head, and something tells me this will be his last semester, too. You, a well groomed fingernail implicated the student with their hand held highest, did he cover the Permian-Triassic extinction event? You may remember it as the Great Dying. Bonman prefers the colloquial.

He did. Scared the shit outta me.

Older perhaps than Every himself, the southern hemisphere of a Marine Corps tattoo peeking out beneath his sleeve, the student had intelligent eyes that gave no indication of regret for his choice in words. Every smiled. He liked these sorts of students. Especially today.

As it should have. Would you be so kind as to share what you can remember regarding the nature of the events that led to the Great Dying?

The man cracked his knuckles, calloused, and his neck, also tattooed.

Volcanism, mainly. But there were a lot of reasons. A confluence, I think Professor B. put it.

Sounds like him. Did Professor B. mention where the volcanism occurred?

Siberia. Or whatever the good people of Pangea would have called Siberia back then.

Everys heart raced, pumping in direct proportion to the pinpricks and sweat that spread as conquerors from end to end of him. He knew, as a matter of context, that this student had made a joke. All that Every knew as a matter of absolute fact was that it was, in any case, no longer of any consequence.

Professor Bonman - did he have time to discuss the world before and directly after this event? In other words, what can you tell us, if anything, about the variety of life preceding and following the purported spike in volcanism?