Shea - Caught in the Lies

To Brenda. Thank you for strengthening every book I write.

Sports Romance

The Perfect Comeback

Firefighters

Caught in the Flames

One Hot Night

Caught in the Lies

Caught in the Chase

Rock Stars

Detour

Derail

Hinder

Replay

Uncovering Love Series

Uncovering Love

Uncovering Desire

Uncovering Hope

Uncovering Love: The Wedding

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. With one hand on the door knob to keep my balance, I lean back until my head thumps against the sturdy wood. This is not happening. This is not my life. I didnt just consume half a bottle of tequila and he didnt rip my heart to shreds with one little voice message. Only, this isnt some lie I can fabricate, convincing myself to believe. Fucking Fucker. The tiles on the wall grow blurry and my balance slips. I pinch my eyes shut against the pain that hits me square in the chest.

I will not fall apart.

I will not lose my shit.

I am not doing this right now. Not here. Not ever.

The hurt that wraps itself around my soul transforms into something darker, and I reach for the anger bubbling at the surface of my consciousness. Indignation blooms and courses through my veins, pushing down the tears that threatened only seconds ago. Thats right. Im the one who gets to be mad, and I wont let him off the hook. Not for this. Not for all the lies. Not after all this time. Fuck him. I will not be silent. Consequences be damned.

Dragging my phone from my back pocket, I swipe the screen and tap a few times until I pull up the right app. My face reflects back. Inhaling a shaky breath, I clear my voice and click the button to take my rant live.

Ive never done this before. I dont take my problems to social media. But Im not feeling much like myself right now, and everyone deserves to know the truth. I sure as hell wish Id been enlightened sooner. Consider this my public service announcement.

Cameron McClain is a piece of shit, and Im the biggest idiot in the world. But everyone whos watching this probably already knows both of those things. I blink and stare back at my face as its captured by my cell phones camera. I look different. My eyes havent changed, the deep blue of my irises the same color theyve always been. Maybe its the puffy skin surrounding them, or the redness that blotches their clearness. I look really fucking horrible. I look sad.

Thats because I am.

A knock against the locked bathroom door at my back startles me and brings me to the task at hand. I lift my chin, glaring right into the video as if Im glaring at him. I hope hes watching. If he is, he needs to hear this. Fuck you, Cam. You think youre so clever? You think you had me fooled in your little game? Newsflash, dickweed: You suck. Good thing youre a fireman, because the CIA wont be knocking on your door. MacGyver, my ass. You might be able to hold on to your hose, but what about a girlfriend? I lower my voice and let loose a snort of laughter. You done messed up real good.

Banging against the door muddies my train of thought.

Jill? Who are you talking to? Come out, honey, Alicia coaxes.

I scoff with disgust and glance over my shoulder even though my friend cant see me through the door. I hate pet names. Theyre sexist and demeaning.

This is why tequila is always a bad idea. Alicia mutters, but I dont agree. Tequila is the reason Im live streaming onto social media instead of sobbing into my pillow.

Oh, God, dont tell me youre calling him. You promised not to call! Callie shouts as the door knob jiggles. Her voice is muted but I make out her words clearly. Shit. Alicia, go find a screwdriver. We need to save her from herself.

Its a nice sentiment, but its kinda too late. No one can save me from this mess.

I lock eyes with my reflection on my phone. The frame captures my glare, but I dont appear nearly as angry as I intend. Not with trails of fresh tears cutting their way down my cheeks. Fucking hell. I hate that I cry when Im angry.

I hope you got what you wanted. I hope youre happy. And thats the saddest part of all. I do want him to be happy, even after everything he did. After all the lies. The time we spent together. The deceit. After shredding my heart into a million pieces. That last part isnt his fault, though. I wasnt supposed to let him get this close. I never meant to fall in love. He was only supposed to be a fun time. We were only playing a game.

Only, thats not what happened. Between late-night hook-ups, conversations filled with too much laughter, and more dick pics than a hotties inbox on Tinder, I fell. Crashed. Burned.

Screw the matches, my parents shouldve warned me about men with big hoses. Theres the real danger. Firemen.

My fireman. My idiot. Mine.

Only, hes not mine. He never really was.

Im not sure if my heart will ever forgive me for the mistake I made. I sure as hell cant forgive him. I dont get the happily ever after; that was always the deal. My chest aches, and my breath tightens with the loss of something I was never meant to have. This hurts. Really fucking hurts. Stupid heart. Stupid Cam. I did everything to protect myself. For as much pain as its endured, it doesnt seem to care when it comes to him.

Fuck you, Cameron McClain, I say through a sob. I think I love you.

The second the words leave my lips I know Ive made a huge mistake.

The wooden slats groan as my white sneakers hit each step with unnecessary force. Today was a long day. Today was a shitty day. Its a mantra thats been repeating more often than not. At least I still have a job. Thats the sad reality of my current work-life outlook. Its okay though, because once my foot hits this top step and my knuckles knock on door two-fifteen, Ill temporarily forget it all for a few blissful hours.

A few seconds after I rap against the apartment door, it swings open. My excitement falls the moment it does. Because its not Cam. Its his evil younger brother.

Oh. Chases face mirrors my own disappointment. You again.

Hey, douchebag, hows your day? I force a sweet smile because it pisses him off. After everything hes done, its the least I can do. Karma isnt the only one who can be a bitch. Screwing over any of my other best friends?

His frown morphs into a smug smirk, much like the cat that caught a mouse. Not at the moment, but if youd like to introduce me

I shove the door and it hits him in the shoulder. Is Cam here?