Elizabeth Blake [Blake - Silver Maiden

Vanessa

When I woke, the bed was empty and my boyfriends scent lingered on the pillow. Usually, he'd be making breakfast, messily scrambling eggs and burning toast. His helplessness in the kitchen made his efforts even more adorable.

Today, the apartment was quiet and barren.

I stretched my arms over my head, unhappy about waking up alone and having to make my own coffee. The man had spoiled me. I swung my legs over the bed and eased into a pair of comfortable slippers. My satin night shirt had pink bunnies on it. Andy preferred the simple, demure garment over complex lace and straps. The man could field-strip his weapon at blinding speed, but garter straps confounded him.

Andreas Sarakas, who I called Andy, worked for the Federal Bureau of Human Safety. The offshoot of Homeland Security endeavored to repress a rampant, infectious disease that decimated the globe: lycanthropy. His breath-taking courage on the frontlines of a preternatural war gave me heart palpitations.

I made the bed, fluffed the pillows, straightened the sheets, folded precision corners, and set things in order. Every productive day began with this simple task. Assuming control of ones environment creates a sense of purpose and security. Good habits are empowering.

I strolled to the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw a note on the refrigerator. Gone out. I frowned at the ambiguous tone and tried not to over-analyze it. Unfortunately, constant analysis was an occupational hazard for most therapists.

Andy spearheaded a search for his missing friend and fellow agent, Kaidlyn Durant. 'Friend' may be misrepresenting the entirety of their relationship. Something unrequited lingered between them. He would never betray me, but a woman notices how her boyfriend looks at other women. Kaidlyn had been killed months ago by a legion of werewolves. Unfortunately, her body wasnt recovered, and Andy refused to believe accounts of her death.

Was she dead or alive?

The question weighed on his heart night and day. It was a horrible predicament. If she was alive, where was she? Why hadnt she come forward? What could be worse than letting everyone believe she was dead? If shed met her demise as the world believed, how could I help Andy come to terms with the fact? I watched him grow more and more obsessed. For all my experience with psychological care, I was unable to help ease his suffering.

Id tried to convince him it wasnt his fault. He couldnt have done anything differently to guarantee Kaidlyn would have survived the attack. Heck, hed barely escaped with his life. Monster wolves had savaged his leg. He spent two months hospitalized in quarantine and grueling physical therapy. Gorgonblood accelerated his recovery, but he retained a mild limp and some scarring.

Even bedridden, hed searched ceaselessly for his lost partner. The apartment filled with research: dossiers, maps, financial records, and wall-to-wall noise.

Andy usually chose jazz when he was under duress, and when Kaidlyn first went missing, he played it ceaselessly. Now, he listened to an abrasive version of rocknroll so repulsive it should be outlawed. He built a barrier between himself and the world, constructed in part with heavy metal: Kaidlyns music.

Its like acid on my heart.

I turned the television to a predominantly yoga channel. My underdeveloped balance didn't allow for the more sophisticated moves, but I gave a good effort. I enjoyed instructors soothing voice and the leisurely stretching. The resulting muscle tone helped my legs look better and offered a daily boost of energy.

While pressing into downward cat, I pondered the note. Gone out felt brisk and uninformative. Normally, he wouldnt leave without giving me a morning kiss and making plans for dinner. In fact, I couldnt recall him leaving the bed without a smooch. Not once. My lips and heart ached.

Denial of Kaidlyns certain demise clogged his psycho-emotional recovery. He couldnt grieve until he accepted her death, but no one could convince him of the truth. He began to disassociate from his colleagues and believe the world was against him.

Soon, hed accept the truth he feared, and hed need my love and support more than ever. I sighed. Id do anything to spare him the pain. Unfortunately, delaying the inevitable would only prolong his suffering and inhibit healing.