Tom Blake - Finding Love After 50: How To Begin. Where To Go. What To Do

Finding LoveAfter 50 How to Begin. Where to Go. What to Do

By TomBlake

SmashwordsEdition

Copyright@2020 Tom Blake

SmashwordsEdition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for yourpersonal enjoyment only. It may not be re-sold or given away toother people. If you would like to share this book with anotherperson, please purchase an additional copy for each person youshare it with. If youre reading this book and did not purchase it,or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should returnto Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you forrespecting the hard word of the author.

Publishedby:

Tom BlakePublishing, Dana Point, CA. 92629

ISBN:978-0-9727966-0-6

Library ofCongress Control Number: 2003091468

Edited byTom Blake

Revised,May, 2020

Finding Love After 50 How toBegin. Where to Go. What to Do

This books goal is to help middle-agedand older singles improve their chances of meeting a potentialmate, and to revitalize their lives at the same time. Most books onthis topic are written by women. This book is unique; it is writtenfrom the mans point of view.

Why am I qualified to write it? For 18years, I have been a newspaper columnist writing on finding loveafter 50. I have heard from thousands of older singles who haveshared their experiences of becoming single again after age 50. Howdid a man start writing on this dating topic--a topic that isusually covered by women? Some background is in order.

On Christmas Eve, 1993, my wife of sixyears backed up a truck to the front door of our home, took whatfurniture and belongings she wanted and moved out of my life. I wasof the opinion that a married couple should discuss an event ofthis magnitude beforehand. But I had been left out of the loop; youcan imagine my shock when I came home to a nearly empty house.Christmas was not Merry that year. And just like that, at age 53, Ijoined a large group of men and womenmiddle aged and olderwhofind themselves unexpectedly single.

My first reaction was to pour myself aglass of wine. My second reaction was to grab a pen and a pad ofpaper and write down all of the thoughts that cross your mind whenadversity like that strikes: Why did it happen? Why didnt I see itcoming? What about the house? What about the bank accounts? Wherethe heck did she go? And other questions similar to those. Littledid I know that a second career--becoming a journalist--was beinglaunched when I wrote those things down?

After the initial few weeks of clearingmy head and getting my life somewhat in order (and checking outgarage sales to replenish the furniture), and being served withdivorce papers, I decided to date.

I thought dating would be easy. Im afairly outgoing guy and I owned Tutor and Spunkys Deli on PacificCoast Highway in the beach town of Dana Point, California, wherelots of single women came in for lunch. But, new singles do foolishthings because they are lonely and I was no exception. The scenariowent like this.

Single woman customer: I will have avegetarian sandwich on wheat bread, extra sprouts, hold the mayoand cheese.

Deli proprietor (me, now single,without giving her a chance to order a beverage, or even get outher wallet to pay): Would you like to have dinnertonight?

She looked at me as if I were nuts. Iam surprised I didnt drive every single woman customer away.Thankfully, I came to my senses and stopped asking customers out. Irealized I wasnt prepared to date. I was angry at the world,lonely, impatient, and didnt have a clue on how to begin, where togo or what to do.

All along, I captured these experiencesin a journal. Doing so helped me get perspective on what washappening to me.

As I made my way through the datingmaze, I wrote about good dates, bad dates, blind dates, gettingstood up, rejected and dumped. I was not getting enough sleep and Iwas spending too much money on dates. I was drinking too much redwine and eating far too much pasta.

After five months of searching for theperfect woman, I decided to stay home one night to rest. Over thenext three weeks, I converted the journal notes into a 75-pagestory about my roller- coaster life since Xmas Eve.

Eventually, those pages became thebasis for a newspaper column called Middle Aged and DatingAgain. Two women editors at the Dana Point Newsmy localnewspaperfigured the single women of Orange County would enjoyreading about the pathetic dating exploits of a newly divorced,desperate single man. The column became syndicated in OrangeCounty. Women enjoyed reading the male point-of-view, although theyoften disagreed with what I wrote.

Since July, 1994, when the first columnran, I have written more than 4,100 columns and e-newsletters aboutmiddle-age and senior dating and relationships. The first columnsled to my first book, also called Middle Aged and DatingAgain. Keep in mind, I was still a deli man, writing became mysecond career. The deli was my day job and was until2014.

For eight years, a separate columncalled Single Again appeared in the Orange CountyRegister, which was the nations 22nd largestnewspaper. But as newspapers were forced to tighten their belts,that column fell by the wayside.

My column now appears in a smallsyndicate of newspapers called Picket Fence Media, which includesthe Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times, and (San Juan)Capistrano Dispatch.

The 2010 Census. revealed there areapproximately 30 million Americans over the age of 50 living alone.The number of singles continues to grow as more than 10,000 babyboomers turn 50 every day. Half of them are single. The divorcerate for first marriages hovers around 50 percent, and for secondand third marriages, around 70 percent. Being single after 50, 60and 70 is becoming a very large group of people

There are large numbers of people age50+ who are single and facing life alone. For most of them, it issad and scary. Most cope ok, but they are lonely. If they had achoice, they would like to have a new mate, but they are lostas Iwaswith little idea of how to proceed to find someone.

They seek information on how to find amate, but little has been written for the older set. And most ofwhat has been writtenand no offense intendedhas been written bywomen. That is good, women relate to women. But women tell me theywant to learn about the mans perspective on older dating, andthere just isnt much information from the malepoint-of-view.

So why am I qualified? I am not atherapist, psychologist, or marriage counselor. I have no advanceddegree in failed relationships (I do have an MBA from theUniversity of Michigan, where I had a great business writingprofessor, which is the only formal writing class I have evertaken).

I am qualified because Ive walked thewalk. I have been married and divorced three times, and survived todate again, and to find love again. But more importantly, Ivewritten 3,000 columns and e-newsletters on the topic, and threeprinted books, and now several EBooks on dating at 50 and beyond. Iunderstand what those 30 million singles 50+ are goingthrough.

For this book, I have gathered the mostvaluable and useful information from readers and condensed it intopages of this book. Ive tried to keep it simple and brief. Nogimmicks, no rules, no idealistic stuff. My premise is that oldersingles are intelligent and dont want to be embarrassed; I willnot recommend anything demeaning to them.

By reading this book, there are noguarantees that you will find a mate for you. But, you will bemaking an educated effort and dramatically improving your chances.One thing I guarantee: many readers of this book will meet a mateas a result of something they learned from within the bookspages.

Seventy percent of my column readersare women. This book is primarily for them, but men will learn fromit also, as will younger singles. Married couples will enjoy thebook. Many of them tell me they read my columns because themessages help them appreciate their spouses more. Some marriedpeople will purchase the book because they know or suspect theirmarital status will be changing soon, for any number of reasons.Chapter 18 is titled, Preparing To Be Single.