Laura Stassi is creator and host of the public radio podcast Dating While Gray, which launched in 2020. An award-winning writer whose work has been featured in Health.mil, the Washington Post, and other media outlets, Laura also has authored several acclaimed nonfiction books for young readers. The mother of two grown children, Laura is a dedicated jogger along the paths and trails of Reston, Virginia, and the sandy shores of Emerald Isle, North Carolina.
Writing about seeking and finding romantic love in lifes later years wouldnt have been possible without the open-heartedness of men and women willing to share their true stories, comments, and questions. Im humbled and honored to be the communications channel. Gratitude also goes to those who emailed, called, or otherwise connected me to potential stories, and everyone who has faithfully supported this projectand public radio!despite not necessarily being gray, or a dater, especially Rebekah Gleaves Sanderlin, the Toser team, and the Reston Runners crew including Amy, Catherine, Cheryl, Kathy, Molly, and Susan.
Thanks to Claire Gerus, who always knew when Mercury was in retrograde, and the Rowman-Littlefield team, especially Suzanne Staszak-Silva and Elaine McGarraugh. Steve H., I so appreciate the middle school memory jogs.
Beautiful Geniuses Daisy Rosario and Poncie Rutsch changed the course of my professional career when they selected Dating While Gray for WAMUs the Pod Shop; thank you so much. Thanks also to Beautiful Geniuses and civilian Pod Shoppers Nichelle Calhoun, Jordan Chacon, Victoria Chamberlin, and Roger Vann for great creative energy and a whole lot of fun, and for the WAMU team who launched Dating While Gray into the podcast sphere, including Patrick Fort, Jonquilyn Hill, Julia Karron, Andi McDaniel, Stephanie Shweiki, Ruth Tam, and J. J. Yore. Lawyer Bob got the ball rolling, Lawyer Matt kept it in play. Thank you, both.
Though one never forgets their first love, Im thrilled to have forged a new relationship with WUNC, North Carolina Public Radio. It wouldnt have been possible without the enthusiastic support of content director Lindsay Foster Thomas; thank you so much. Thanks also to the entire WUNC team, especially Jenni Lawson, Charlie Shelton-Ormond, and Kamaya Truitt, for Season 2; and Katy Barron and Anisa Khalifa, who joined the fun for Season 3.
Transitioning from Married Land to Singles World was rough at times. To my actual sisters Jeanie, Lisa, Peggy, and Paula (and sister-in-law Diane), as well as my sisters from other misters: Beth, Maureen, Shevaun, and Stacy, from Supper Club; Claudia, Debbie, Denise, and Michele, the reliable Chantilly Mom Happy Hour crew; and Anne, Sue, and Weezie, my three lovely blonde roomies. Gratitude, also, to my brother Joe along with the great men in the lives of all of these women. Thank you, everyone, for the strong shoulders, wise words, and laughter. So much laughter.
Mr. T, I pity the fool who just gives up.
Julie, Im thrilled youve joined our family.
Linc and Sunny, roots and wingsand endless, boundless, forever love. As my nana always said, restiamo uniti. Stick together.
Alcorn, Kristina S. In His Own Words: Stories from the Extraordinary Life of Restons Founder, Robert E. Simon Jr. [Virginia]: Great Owl Books, 2016.
Bair, Deirdre. Calling It Quits: Late-Life Divorce and Starting Over. New York:Random House, 2007.
Brown, Susan L., and I-Fen Lin. Gray Divorce: A Growing Risk Regardless of Class or Education. Council on Contemporary Families (website), October 8, 2014. https://contemporaryfamilies.org/growing-risk-brief-report/.
. The Gray Divorce Revolution: Rising Divorce among Middle-Aged and Older Adults, 19902010. Journals of Gerontology, Series B 67, no. 6 (November 2012): 73141. https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/67/6/731/614154.
Burnham, Sophy. Modern Love: At What Age Is Love Enthralling? 82. Modern Love. New York Times, February 8, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/08/style/modern-love-at-what-age-is-love-enthralling-82.html.
Cloud, Henry. Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward. New York: Harper-Collins Publishers, 2010.
Cummings, Kevin. Love in a Time of Coronavirus: Dating Apps See Surge Despite Lockdowns. NTX Inno, March 27, 2020, https://www.bizjournals.com/dallas/inno/stories/inno-insights/2020/03/27/love-in-a-time-of-coronavirus-dating-apps-see.html (paywall).
DePaulo, Bella. Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored and Still Live Happily Ever After. New York: St. Martins Press, 2006.
Dreyfus, Nancy. Talk to Me Like Im Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash. New York: Tarcher/Penguin, 2009.
Ellis, Abby. After Full Lives Together, More Older Couples Are Divorcing. New York Times, October 30, 2015. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/31/your-money/after-full-lives-together-more-older-couples-are-divorcing.html.
Fisher, Helen. The Brain in Love. Filmed February 2008 at TED2008, Monterey, CA. Video, 15:37. https://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_the_brain_in_love?language=en.
Garca-Hodges, Ahiza, Kalhan Rosenblatt, and Jo Ling Kent. Dating during Coronavirus Turned Upside Down since Everything Is a Long-Distance Relationship. NBCnews.com, April 5, 2020. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/dating-during-coronavirus-turned-upside-everything-long-distance-relationship-n1175741.
Hall, Donald. Between Solitude and Loneliness. The New Yorker, October 15, 2016. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/double-solitude.
Hanover, Donna. My Boyfriends Back: True Stories of Rediscovering Love with a Long-Lost Sweetheart. New York: Hudson Street Press, 2005.
Hoffman, Leora. Catch Me a Catch: Chronicles of a Modern-Day Matchmaker. Port St. Lucie, FL: BookBound Media, 2020.
Jacob, Urvi. Lockdown Love: Meet Zach Schleien of Filter Off which Is Helping Individuals Find Their Ideal Match. Yourstory.com, April 29, 2020. https://yourstory.com/weekender/video-dating-app-filter-off-coronavirus-quarantine/amp.
Kalish, Nancy. Lost and Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances. New York: William Morrow, 1997.
Kirshenbaum, Mira. I Love You but I Dont Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship. New York: Berkley Books, 2012.
Klinenberg, Eric. Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone. New York: Penguin Press, 2012.
Krasnow, Iris. The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married. New York: Gotham Books, 2011.
La Gorce, Tammy. I Do. Take 2. Vows, New York Times, January 3, 2020. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/03/fashion/weddings/Married-37-years-and-divorced-for-now-its-I-Do-Take-24.html.
. When a Love Expert Falls in Love. Mini-Vows, New York Times, August 21, 2020. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/21/fashion/weddings/when-a-love-expert-falls-in-love.html.
Lear, Norman. Even This I Get to Experience. New York: Penguin Press, 2014.
Leshnoff, Jessica. Sexting Not Just for Kids: Plenty of Older Adults Send Racy Messages on Their CellphonesBut Its Usually a Private Matter. AARP, updated August 29, 2016. https://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-11-2009/sexting_not_just_for_kids.html.