David Friedman - How They Met: True Stories of the Power of Serendipity in Finding Lasting Love

Also by David Friedman:

We Can Be Kind: Healing Our World

One Kindness at a Time

HOW THEY MET

True Stories of the Power of Serendipity
in Finding Lasting Love

David Friedman

Mango Publishing

C oral Gables

Copyright 2018 David Friedman.

Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

Cover Design: Roberto Nunez

Layout Design: Jermaine Lau

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How They Met: True Stories of the Power of Serendipity in Finding Lasting Love
Library of Congress Cataloging
ISBN: (print) 978-1-63353-677-7 (ebook) 978-1-63353-711-8
Library of Congress Control Number: 2018930593
BISAC category code: FAM029000 FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Love & Romance

Printed in the United States of America

This book is dedicated to my partner in life, Shawn Moninger, who came from out of nowhere when I least expected him, and brought me a life filled with love and spiritual connection that I never could have imagined.

I would like to thank all the wonderful couples and individuals who so generously and inspiringly shared their How They Met stories with me and allowed me to share them with you.

Everything works out in the end.
If it hasnt worked out yet,
then its not the end.

Author Unknown

Contents

Recipe for LoveDepression, Eating Disorder,
Bad Hair, Apathy

Heartbreaks in Common Brought Them Together
(Very Slowly)

Never Talk to Strangers (or You Might Meet the Love of
Your Life)

You Cant Fight the Truth (or a Tight Pair of
Tennis Shorts)

Youre Already There , a companion CD to this book with seventeen songs composed and performed by David Friedman can be ordered by writing to the author at or downloaded at
iTunes.com or amazon.com

Trying to sleep, alone in my bed
Thoughts of the future go round in my head
How will I find a love of my own?
A love of the kind that Ive never known
Dont know where im going
Dont know what to do
But I take comfort knowing
That right here and now
Youre out in the world
Searching for me too

Youre already there waiting for me
Wondering where in the world I could be
You go through the day dreaming your dream
Afraid that it might not come true
While Im lying here dreaming of you

Youre far, far away or just down the street
But surely some day we are destined to meet
I know in my heart youre coming to me
I dont need to know when and where
Ill just turn and one day youll be there
And maybe we will know
At the first glance, at the first word
Or maybe well go slow
Start out as friends
But in the end
A love to last a lifetime will grow
And that will be our story
I cant wait to live our story

So now go to sleep, and Ill do the same
Knowing your heart though I dont know your name
I trust in a plan much higher than me
To bring us together in time
So til you appear, Ill picture you here
Remove all the doubt and let go of the fear
And know that the future is fine

Youre already there
Waiting for me
So in a funny way
Youre already mine

David Friedman/Midder Music

A number of years ago, I found myself suddenly and shockingly single after having been in a fifteen-year relationship. Over the next six months, I went through all the normal stages that people tend to go through after this kind of loss; I traveled, told my story to everyone I could think of, renewed old friendships, threw myself into my work, stepped up my therapy, and slowly, with very little success or satisfaction, began to date.

About six weeks after the breakup, I was lying in bed one night feeling sorry for myself, wondering how I would ever have a life, when a very encouraging thought came to me. Being a songwriter, I put that thought into words, and the result was a song, the lyric to which is written above.

As time went by, I began to remember what I had known fifteen years before and forgotten over the years of steady committed relationshipthat meeting the right person is something that is, in many ways, very much out of our hands. People had all sorts of advice for me: Go out and meet everyone you can; Just sit still and it will happen; Youve got to be aggressive; Dont be too pushy; When you see a quality you dont want in someone, stop dating them immediately; Be open; Be cautious; Give it time; Get yourself in good shape; Dont change a thing; You have to change something inside you to allow yourself to meet the right person, etc., etc., ad nauseam. But no matter what I did, it seemed to me that it was going to happen when it was going to happen, and the best I could do was be open and take whatever opportunities were being offered to me, whether or not they seemed to have to do with finding the next love of my life. It felt like a pretty helpless position to be in.

Over the months, just for the fun of it, I began asking people who were married or were in longstanding relationships how they met. In each case, there was some element of serendipity or surprise, and I found the stories encouraging, supporting the notion that it would happen for me if I could just live my life and let go. Also encouraging was the fact that meeting the love of ones life did not seem to depend on ones being in particularly good shape, looking good, being successful, being happy at the time, planning, targeting, doing the right thing, or anything else for that matter that one could put ones finger on. In fact, people often met the love of their lives while dressed in dirty old clothes, or while in the middle of a deep depression, or at a time when they absolutely were not looking.

As I listened to story after story, gradually the feeling that I was helpless and that it would never happen for me changed to a sense of wonder and excitement as to when, where, and how it would happen for me. The words of my own song, And that will be our story, I cant wait to live our story ran through my head over and over.

I thought it would be therapeutic for me, during this time, to collect and write down these stories, and then realized that perhaps a book of them would be encouraging for the millions of people who find themselves in similar situations, in love or in anything else that they desire but dont know how to make happen.

Some of these stories were told to me directly by the people who lived them. Others were told to me secondhand. In those cases, I have either changed or omitted the names to protect peoples privacy.

Straight, gay, young, old, longtime single, divorced, widowed, looking, not lookingthese are stories about ordinary people like you and me, and the ordinary yet extraordinary events that brought them together with their life partner. I hope you enjoy them, find inspiration and encouragement, and perhaps even recognize your own circumstances in them. And whatever youre searching for, be it love, success, healing, money, work, a new home, or a new direction, know that its entirely possible, no matter what the present circumstances, that you will soon have a new story of your own to tell.