Gary Chapman - Love Is a Verb: Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive

GARY CHAPMAN

BESTSELLNG AUTHOR OF The Five Love Languages

Love

Verb

Love Is a Verb
Copyright 2009
Gary Chapman

Cover design by Lookout Design, Inc.
Art direction by Paul Higdon

Some names have been changed to protect privacy.

Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified NIV are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

E-book edition created 2010

ISBN 978-1-4412-0402-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of

Dedicated to

Derek and Amy Chapman,

whose lifestyle demonstrates

that love is a verb.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am indebted to those individuals who shared their stories of love with me. This book would not have been possible without their contributions. I am extremely grateful to Jim Bell, who encouraged this project from the beginning and played the major role in collecting the stories. I hope that both he and the contributors will be rewarded by knowing that their work has helped others discover that love is a verb. Im also grateful to others on the editorial and marketing side who played a roleKyle Duncan, Tim Peterson, Julie Smith, Ellen Chalifoux, Donna Carpenter, and Jeanette Littleton.

On the personal side, I have been greatly blessed with a son, Derek, and a daughter-in-law, Amy, who have for all of their married lives provided a model of what it means to love. Beginning with their wedding in Prague and continuing with their ministry in Antwerp, and now in Austin, Texas, they have been involved daily in giving their lives away to others. I dream of a day when their example will be multiplied, and to that end I have dedicated this book to them.

Gary D. Chapman
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

CONTENTS

Gary Chapman

Tamara Vermeer

Eileen Roddy

Louise D. Flanders

Steven L. Brown

Doris E. Clark

Rebecca Willman Gernon

Sheila Farmer

Laurie A. Perkins

Emily Osburne

Betty J. Johnson Dalrymple

Loretta J. Eidson

Kevin Lucia

Sudha Khristmukti

Midge DeSart

Laura L. Bradford

Sarah B. Hawkins

Leslie J. Payne

Jon Hopkins

Barbara L. Scott

Amy Chanan

Elsi Dodge

Donna Smith

Nancy Page Sheek

Sheila Farmer

Faith Waters

Billy Cuchens

Christine McNamara

Ann Varnum

Pamela Dowd

Gena Bradford

Katherine J. Crawford

Laquita Havens

Susan Stanley

Nancy J. Farrier

Jennifer Devlin

Sandy Cathcart

Chris Wright

Jacquelyn Sandifer Strange

Connie Pombo

Nora Peacock

Love makes the world go round.

All you need is love.

Love can make you crazy....

As long as any of us can remember, poems, songs, films, and orators have tried to adequately describe and express love. Movies and TV programs focus on the pursuit of love and personal fulfillment. Advertisements use this strong sentiment to sell us products. Our culture often seems to have a love-tracked mind.

Whether its in marriage, family, or friendships, its no wonder that love is such a draw and places so high on the priority list in our lives. After all, the wisest book Ive ever read, the Bible, tells us that God himself is love.

Few emotions in life equal the exciting adrenaline rush of a newfound romance or the sweet companionship of a friend or the faithful support of a family member. No wonder we seek love above so many other positive experiences. The normal, everyday challenges are so much easier to survive when we know we have people who are always there when we need them and support us unconditionally.

Because every love relationship involves fallible humans, challenges abound. Unlike the personal connections portrayed on the big and small screens, the real issues between people usually cant be resolved within thirty minutes or even a few episodes. Sometimes circumstances and people make it almost impossible to love successfully.

The euphoria subsides after marriage, and the romantic feelings might fly out the window. We have a sharp disagreement and find ourselves being antagonistic instead of supportive.

Sometimes communication quandaries occur. At other times, we may cling to unrealistic expectations. And at other times, frankly, we may not even actually know how love factors into the equation. And when the going gets tough, some people just get going... leaving a trail of wounded hearts behind.

As a pastor and counselor, Ive seen it over and over again. A spouse gets bored with marriage and gives in to the temptation to see if the grass really is greener in another persons yard. Parents and children emotionally excommunicate each other over a misunderstanding. Someone sits alone at church or stays home because he or she has lost a friend and is afraid to become vulnerable and reach out again.

Ive seen too many people give up on love too fast. Walking away from relationships doesnt provide the hoped-for relief, bring solutions, or simplify life. Rather, it piles on more problems through the lingering resentment and finger-pointing.

So what are the answers to the challenges love brings? For starters, to last for the long haul and through the stresses and complexities of life, love has to be more than something we feel. It has to be something we do. We have to demonstrate it concretely in our marriage, our family, among our friends and acquaintances, and, yes, even among our enemies.

And thats what this book is about. In the following pages, youll see examples of people just like youlike all of uswho learned to take the obstacles, the lemons they face in life, and turn them into satisfying, emotional-thirst-quenching nectar. These are the success stories that make you want to go out and try harder.

Youll read about:

Doris, who kept her hands busy furiously knitting when she almost felt like using them to strangle the husband she truly couldnt stand any longer.