Gary Chapman - The 30-Day Love Language Minute Devotional Volume 1
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TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
The 30-Day Love Language Minute Devotional, Volume 1
Copyright 2014 by Gary D. Chapman. All rights reserved.
Taken from The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional, published in 2009 under ISBN 978-1-4143-2973-4.
Cover photograph of beach copyright Tetra Images/Jupiterimages. All rights reserved.
Cover photograph of paper copyright RapidEye/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.
Edited by Kathryn S. Olson
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.
Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
ISBN 978-1-4143-9217-2 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-4143-9216-5 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-4143-9218-9 (Apple)
Build: 2017-12-20 12:59:15
Ive been privileged to counsel couples for more than thirty years, and in that time Ive seen my share of marital struggles. But what Ive also seen, time and time again, is the power of God to transform relationships. When two people commit to each otherand especially when they commit to communicating love to each other through the five love languagespositive change occurs.
Because my background is in marriage counseling, I tend to use the language of marriage when I write. Some of the issues I address are marriage specific. However, if youre a dating or engaged couple, I hope you will also benefit from these devotions. There is plenty of helpful information for you as well. The building blocks of marriagesuch as good communication, respect, unconditional love, and forgivenessare foundational to any romantic relationship. And learning to identify and speak your loved ones love language will benefit a couple at any stage.
You can use these devotions individually, or sit down together as a couple to read one each day. Use the prayer at the end of each devotion as a starting point for your own prayerwhether you pray silently together or aloud, one at a time. In just a minute or two every day, you can discover encouraging biblical insights.
Whether your relationship is strong or struggling, stable or challenging, my prayer is that these devotions will encourage you and give you renewed joy in each other. May your relationship be strengthened as you focus on loving and growing together.
Gary Chapman
Three things will last foreverfaith, hope, and loveand the greatest of these is love. Let love be your highest goal!
1 CORINTHIANS 13:1314:1
After thirty years of counseling couples, Im convinced there are five different ways we speak and understand emotional lovefive love languages. Each of us has a primary love language; one of the five speaks to us more profoundly than the other four.
Seldom do a husband and wife have the same love language. We tend to speak our own language, and as a result, we completely miss each other. Oh, were sincere. Were even expressing love, but were not connecting emotionally.
Sound familiar? Love doesnt need to diminish over time. The end of the famous love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, says that love is of great value and will last forever. In fact, the apostle Paul says that love should be our highest goal. But if youre going to keep love alive, you need to learn a new language. That takes discipline and practicebut the reward is a lasting, deeply committed relationship.
Lord, thank you for creating each of us so differently. Keep me from assuming that my partner thinks and feels the way I do. Please give me the patience to find out how I can most effectively communicate love to my spouse.
Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
1 JOHN 4:11-12
My research indicates that there are five basic languages of love:
- Words of affirmationusing positive words to affirm the one you love
- Giftsgiving thoughtful gifts to show you were thinking about someone
- Acts of servicedoing something that you know the other person would like
- Quality timegiving your undivided attention
- Physical touchholding hands, kissing, embracing, putting a hand on the shoulder, or any other affirming touch
Out of these five, each of us has a primary love language. One of these languages speaks more deeply to us than the others. Do you know your love language? Do you know your spouses?
Many couples earnestly love each other but do not communicate their love in an effective way. If you dont speak your spouses primary love language, he or she may not feel loved, even when you are showing love in other ways.
The Bible makes it clear that we need to love each other as God loves us. The apostle John wrote that Gods love can find full expression in us. If thats true for the church in general, how much more true is it for a couple? Finding out how your loved one feels love is an important step to expressing love effectively.
Father, help me to be a student of my spouse. I want to know how best to show my love. Please give me wisdom as I try to determine my beloveds love language.
[Jesus said,] Why worry about a speck in your friends eye when you have a log in your own?... First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friends eye.
MATTHEW 7:3, 5
As a marriage counselor, Ive drawn one conclusion: Everyone wishes his or her spouse would change. We could have a good marriage if he would just help me more around the house. Or, Our marriage would be great if she was willing to have sex more than once a month. He wants her to change, and she wants him to change. The result? Both feel condemned and resentful.
Jesus words in Matthew 7 vividly illustrate the problem. We think we see others faults clearly, and we put forth a lot of effort to try to correct them. But in reality, our own sin blinds us. If we havent dealt with our own failings, we have no business criticizing our spouses.
There is a better way: Start with yourself. Admit that youre not perfect. Confess some of your most obvious failures to your spouse and acknowledge that you want to change. Ask for one suggestion each week on how you could be a better husband or wife. To the best of your ability, make changes. Chances are, your spouse will reciprocate.
Father, its so much easier to concentrate on my spouses flaws than to deal with my own. Please give me the courage to look at myself honestly. Help me today to try to change one thing that will make me a better marriage partner.
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