Gary Chapman - Love Language Minute for Couples: 100 Days to a Closer Relationship

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Love Language Minute for Couples: 100 Days to a Closer Relationship

Copyright 2019 by Gary D. Chapman. All rights reserved.

Devotional content adapted from The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional published by Tyndale House Publishers under ISBN 978-1-4143-2973-4 in 2009.

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I VE BEEN PRIVILEGED TO counsel couples for more than forty years. In that time, Ive seen my share of marital struggles. But I have also seen, time and time again, the power of God to transform relationships. When two people commit to each otherand especially when they commit to communicating love to each other through the five love languagespositive change occurs.

Because my background is in marriage counseling, I tend to use the language of marriage when I write. Some of the issues I address are marriage specific. However, if youre a dating or engaged couple, I hope you will read this book too. There is plenty of helpful information for you as well. The building blocks of marriagesuch as good communication, respect, unconditional love, and forgivenessare foundational to any romantic relationship. And learning to identify and speak your loved ones love language will benefit a couple at any stage.

You can use this devotional individually or read it together as a couple. Use the prayer for each day as a starting point for your own prayerwhether you pray silently together or aloud. In just a minute or two, you can discover encouraging biblical insights that will help you improve and build your relationship.

Whether your relationship is strong or struggling, stable or challenging, my prayer is that this devotional will encourage you and give you renewed joy in each other. May your relationship be strengthened as you focus on loving and growing together.

Three things will last foreverfaith, hope, and loveand the greatest of these is love. Let love be your highest goal!

1 CORINTHIANS 13:1314:1

A FTER MORE THAN FORTY YEARS of counseling couples, Im convinced there are five different ways we speak and understand emotional lovefive love languages. Each of us has a primary love language; one of the five speaks to us more profoundly than the other four.

Seldom do a husband and wife have the same love language. We tend to speak our own language, and as a result, we completely miss each other. Oh, were sincere. Were even expressing love, but were not connecting emotionally.

Sound familiar? Love doesnt need to diminish over time. The end of the famous love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, says that love is of great value and will last forever. In fact, the apostle Paul says that love should be our highest goal. But if youre going to keep love alive, you need to learn a new language. That takes discipline and practicebut the reward is a lasting, deeply committed relationship.

Lord, thank you for creating each of us so differently. Keep me from assuming that my partner thinks and feels the way I do. Please give me the patience to find out how I can most effectively communicate love to my spouse.

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

1 JOHN 4:11-12

M Y RESEARCH INDICATES THAT there are five basic languages of love:

• Words of affirmationusing positive words to affirm the one you love
• Giftsgiving thoughtful gifts to show you were thinking about someone
• Acts of servicedoing something that you know the other person would like
• Quality timegiving your undivided attention
• Physical touchholding hands, kissing, embracing, putting a hand on the shoulder, or any other affirming touch

Out of these five, each of us has a primary love language. One of these languages speaks more deeply to us than the others. Do you know your love language? Do you know your spouses?

Many couples earnestly love each other but do not communicate their love in an effective way. If you dont speak your spouses primary love language, he or she may not feel loved, even when you are showing love in other ways.

The Bible makes it clear that we need to love each other as God loves us. The apostle John wrote that Gods love can find full expression in us. If thats true for the church in general, how much more true is it for a couple? Finding out how your loved one feels love is an important step to expressing love effectively.

Father, help me to be a student of my spouse. I want to know how best to show my love. Please give me wisdom as I try to determine my beloveds love language.

I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

JOHN 13:34-35