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dot.com dating: finding your right someone onlineavoiding the liars, losers, and freaks
Copyright 2010 by Les and Leslie Parrott. All rights reserved.
Cover photo copyright by elenadesign/Shutterstock. All rights reserved.
Designed by Jacqueline L. Nuez
Edited by Susan Taylor
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Parrott, Les.
dot.com dating : finding your right someone onlineavoiding the liars, losers, and freaks / Les Parrott and Leslie Parrott.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-4143-4865-0 (sc)
1. Online dating. 2. Mate selection. I. Parrott, Leslie L., date. II. Title.
HQ801.82.P37 2010
306.730285dc22 2010040224
We dedicate this little book to single people everywhere
who are passionate in their faith and faithful in their passions.
Resources by Les and Leslie Parrott
Books
Becoming Soul Mates
The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring
Getting Ready for the Wedding
I Love You More (and workbooks)
Just the Two of Us
Love Is...
Love Talk (and workbooks)
Meditations on Proverbs for Couples
The Parent You Want to Be
Pillow Talk
Questions Couples Ask
Relationships (and workbook)
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (and workbooks)
Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts (and workbooks)
3 Seconds
51 Creative Ideas for Marriage Mentors
Video CurriculumZondervanGroupware
Complete Resource Kit for Marriage Mentoring
I Love You More
Love Talk
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Audio
Love Talk
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts
Books by Les Parrott
The Control Freak
Helping Your Strugging Teenager
The Life You Want Your Kids to Live
Seven Secrets of a Healthy Dating Relationship
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
Once Upon a Family
25 Ways to Win with People (coauthored with John Maxwell)
Love the Life You Live (coathored with Neil Clark Warren)
Books by Leslie Parrott
If You Ever Needed Friends, Its Now
You Matter More Than You Think
God Loves You Nose to Toes (childrens book)
Marshmallow Clouds (childrens book)
megapixels and modemsthe new normal for dating?
I met my husband online. We lived three streets away from each other but never would have met otherwise.
Vickie Wagoner
A man sends a knowing glance to a woman from across the room. Her head tilts slightly as she sees him. She lifts her shoulders and touches her hair. Their eyes lock for a brief moment. She smiles, then slowly drops her eyelids, tilting her head down and to the side. Volumes of body language are written between them in mere seconds. The exciting spark of mutual interest leads the man to walk toward her and strike up a conversation and possibly ask for a date.
It could happen anywhere: school, church, a party, a restaurant, even standing in line at the grocery store. But these days, for many, those romantic sparks are just as likely to be found on line as they are to be found in line.
Theres no denying it. People are finding their soul mates on the Web as often as they are anywhere else. More than a third of Americas ninety-seven million singles are dating online . With the click of a mouse, single people are meeting other singles. In fact, more than half of the people who have signed up for an online dating service have been on a date with someone they met online. According to Mark Penn, author of Microtrends , one in five Americans in their twenties, and one in ten Americans in their thirties or older are actively looking to find their soul mates online. And the numbers grow larger every day.
Is it working? The answer is an unequivocal yes. Singles of all stages and ages are not only finding someone to date; theyre also finding matrimony. Every week we hear from happy couples who met in cyberspace and are enjoying marriage together. More than twice as many couples who married last year met through online dating services compared to social events.
Why We Wrote This Little Book
As a psychologist (Les) and a marriage and family therapist (Leslie), we think a lot about relationships. Weve written more than a dozen books on the topic. We teach university courses on relationships and marriage. On most weekends youll find us speaking at a relationship seminar, usually in a church, somewhere in North America. We have a Web site (RealRelationships.com) where we provide complimentary video answers to relationship questions people ask when they write to us. We do television, radio, and magazine interviews on relationship issues almost weekly.
Because of all that, we hear from thousands of singles across the country every year. And the question they ask us more than any other is this: Do you think I should try online dating?
The question typically comes from the earnest hearts of people who are genuinely wondering when or if they will find the love of their lives. The heartfelt sincerity behind this often-asked questionwhich comes from the young and never married as well as from the more mature widowed and divorcedset us on a quest some years ago to research the practice of online dating from every angle. In the end, it resulted in more than just this little book. Well be up front: It resulted in a compelling call to cofound an online dating site that does something for Christian singles that no other site has done before. Well fill you in on that, just briefly, at the end of this book.
Our Promise to You
For now, we simply want to give you the information from our research that we believe youll find helpful when it comes to being smart about this increasingly popular tool of electronic dating. Whether you end up going online to find your special someone or you decide to rely on old-fashioned means for finding your romantic sparks, we want to help you improve your Love IQ by helping you get savvy about your options. This holds true even if youve already tried online dating and ended up being skeptical.
Weve made this book brief and to the point. Each chapter is only a few short pages because we dont want to load you down with unnecessary details. We promise to cut to the heart of the matter by focusing on the following three major issues:
First, well debunk the myths too many people still hold about online dating, typically because they are misinformed or are relying on old information.
Second, well help you determine whether online dating is for you, and well show you six ways to know for sure.
And finally, well give you a list of questions you absolutely must ask before you sign up for any online dating site. We think they could make or break your online dating experience.
Before we leave this introduction, we want you to know something. Weve written every word of this book with you in mind. We dont know you, of course, but we do know that you are sincere about finding that special someone. You wouldnt read this book if you werent. We also assume that you could be anywhere from your twenties to late in your more-seasoned years. You may have never been married, or you may be divorced or widowed. We also assume you are a person of high moral standards and you hold a personal Christian faith. Youre not looking for the proverbial hookup; youre not cruising the club scene. Youre holding out for the very best that God has for you. And its our heartfelt prayer that you will find itsoon. This book is dedicated to helping you do just that.