Alyssa Dineen - The Art of Online Dating: Style Your Most Authentic Self and Cultivate a Mindful Dating Life

Copyright 2021 by Alyssa Dineen

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by Harper Horizon, an imprint of HarperCollins Focus LLC.

Book design by Aubrey Khan, Neuwirth & Associates.

Any internet addresses, phone numbers, or company or product information printed in this book are offered as a resource and are not intended in any way to be or to imply an endorsement by Harper Horizon, nor does Harper Horizon vouch for the existence, content, or services of these sites, phone numbers, companies, or products beyond the life of this book.

Names and identifying characteristics of some individuals have been changed to preserve their privacy.

ISBN 978-0-7852-4172-0 (eBook)

ISBN 978-0-7852-4171-3 (HC)

Epub Edition August 2021 9780785241720

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021936698

Printed in the United States of America

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For Hayden & Story

What you wear and how you present yourself is a true calling card to the world around you. Caring for your appearance in an authentic way shows real confidence and makes you feel empowered. Alyssa Dineen is the perfect Style Guru for all who might be lost as to how they can best showcase themselves.

I have known Alyssa for many years, as a colleague and a friend. I have seen her transform men and women in such a brilliant way that never feels intimidating but makes them feel safe and cared for, which then boosts their self-esteem to new levels.

As a divorced woman who has also been in the world of online dating, I immediately recognized the brilliance of starting a business to help others with their dating profiles. I know her clients feel like theyre working with a friend who has been through it and, after seeing thousands of other peoples profiles, knows what works and what doesnt.

Her gentle yet effective approach brings out the best in everyone she touches, which speaks volumes not only to her character but also to her limitless talent. She has a magic of understanding each individual and what works best for their unique personality and lifestyle.

I also watched as Alyssa transformed herself, both physically and emotionally, after leaving an oppressive marriage. I observed how she tried new makeup techniques, wore her hair in various styles, and experimented with looks for dating and for work. After some trial and error, she found her true styleand her true self. I watched as Alyssa blossomed and became who she is today: a confident woman and successful business owner who met the partner she deserves.

I hope that you, too, will be inspired by her journey and learn from her hard-earned wisdom!

Carmindy Bowyer

beauty enabler, makeup artist, author, speaker, host, and founder of Carmindy Beauty

Cheers to you! Deciding to jump into online dating is a great step in moving forward with whatever new stage youre entering in life. For me, it was divorceafter eighteen years together, including eleven years marriedthat pushed me into the unknowns of being a single mother of two at the age of forty-one.

Whatever brings you to this book, I hope youll find a practical guide to the world of online dating, pep talks to keep you going, and the knowledge that you are not alone. Ill share some of my personal dating stories with yousome that make me cringe, some that make me smile, and some that make me spit out my coffee laughing. Id say Ive seen it all, but every time I do, something surprises me. Online dating can be mysterious and frustrating at times, but it can also be fun and fulfilling. Its always an opportunity for learning more about yourself, and it truly can lead to long-term romantic partnerships and friendships.

As a professional stylist and art director for photo shoots, I figured out the art of creating an engaging profile quicker than most. In fact, I got to be so good at it and felt such a passion for helping other people through the process, I started a business to help singles in all stages of life create a successful online dating presencefrom fashion to photo to bio to learning how to communicate via dating appsso they can make the best experience for themselves. Ive divided this book into five chapters, to put all this information in one place.

Before I was ready to distill myself and my style into a few profile pics and bio sentences, I needed to remember who that person was and what she thought, felt, and liked to do. I had to get to know myself and my style all over again. If you feel the same way, Ill walk you through the steps I found helpful in rediscovering myself and helping my clients do the same.

Ill help you create a new wardrobe for your new self. It doesnt have to break the bankIll share the fifteen essentials every woman needs in her closet and a guide to creating your FDU, or first-date uniform. Youll never be trying on your whole closet searching for that perfect outfit, since youll have it ready. One less thing to worry about.

Photos get all the buzz when it comes to online profiles, but what really elevates the process from a meet market to more personalized matches that will lead to better dates is a good bio. Ill help you craft one that will attract the right kind of matches for you.

If youre like me, even with my experience on fashion shoots, being on the other side of the camera is tortureat first. This chapter has lots of practical tips on taking selfies, getting better photos of yourself, and choosing which photos to post on your profile.

Heres where all your hard work and prep blossom into an art. Ill give you the lowdown on the most popular apps and how they work and the language of online messaging, communication by text, and how to navigate those first IRL (in real life) dates. And how to keep swiping until, like me, you find what youve been looking for.

I hope youll find this book helpful. I wrote it because I wish Id had it when I was starting on this wild and rewarding journey. So dig in, grab a friend for help when you need it, and keep swiping.

Happy dating!

Alyssa

I stood in front of my new, much smaller full-length mirror inside my new, much smaller closet, in my new, much smaller walk-up apartment. I wanted to move or fall to my knees and weep. Even a wail of agony would have been welcome. But I was immobile. I stood in my droopy, lifeless gray sweater and realized: None of this is me. This closet, this apartment, this sweaternothing was familiar. I was a stranger to my own closet, my home, myself. Though I knew none of this was who I was, what I didnt know was: What was me?

How the hell did I get to this closet moment at the age of forty-one? Thats a long story. So, let me start with my clothes. My clothes! Only a few days earlier, Id unpacked two wardrobe boxes, three giant duffle bags, and two enormous, ripped garbage bags. That was it: my autobiography of cotton and denim and silk and wool. As a stylistsomeone who has made a living out of choosing what looks best on that person at that time in that placeclothing has always been inextricably linked to my identity. But in that closet, I noticed something for the first time, the most obvious thing in the world. How had I never seen it before?