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Preface
After getting divorced in 2012, I was afraid that I would become the male equivalent of a cat lady in ten years. Neither particularly tall nor conventionally handsome, I epitomized the average 30-year old man. I ate healthy and exercised regularly, but looked nothing like a Mens Health cover model. I had a decent job, but was not rich by any means. I could crack a joke or two, but was never funny or charismatic enough to command an audience. Still unsure about what made one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen stay with me for ten years, I did not have a clue as to how I was going to attract equally good-looking women in the future.
The last time I asked a woman out on a date, I sent her an instant message via AOL Instant Messenger. Ten years later, I felt overwhelmed by the idea of online dating. How much trouble would I have to go through to actually meet an attractive woman in person if I initiated contact with her on an online dating site? I had heard way too many horror stories from my male friends and colleagues to be optimistic about online dating.
They said I would have to message many women every day and play the numbers game. If I was fortunate enough to actually receive a response from any of the women, I would have to double-check her photos to make sure that they werent handpicked to make her look far more attractive than she really was and re-read her profile to make sure that she wasnt crazy. If I lucked out and she happened to be a physically attractive and sane woman, then, to avoid freaking her out, I needed to exchange messages with her on the dating site for at least few weeks before suggesting that we meet in person.
Despite my lack of confidence in online dating, I joined Match.com and OkCupid.com in October 2012. That first month was truly hellish. Only one of the 96 women I messaged emailed me back. To add insult to injury, a detailed examination of the photographs of the woman who responded to my email indicated that they were photoshopped. Since my online dating experience couldnt get any worse, I decided to run a few experiments.
As I tested out a variety of different profiles, introductory emails, and photographs, patterns began emerging, giving me valuable insights. By the end of the year, I knew that I had figured out the most important rules of online dating and proceeded to craft an online dating strategy. Executing this strategy in 2013 helped me casually date over 50 attractive women from the two dating sites in less than six months.
Online dating can be an extremely unpleasant experience for the average Joe. On many dating sites, men outnumber the women by ten to one. This skewed male to female ratio makes it near impossible for the average man to connect with a woman who is at least as attractive to men as he is to women. In fact, more often than not, men on dating sites have to jump through multiple hoops to woo women who, had they met at a bar, would have been overjoyed to be approached by them.
I wrote this book so that no man has to go through what I did during my first month on Match.com and OkCupid.com. Following my recommendations will make online dating a pleasant and rewarding experience for you even if you, like me, are not the type of man women drool over. I guarantee it.
Ch . 1 - Introduction
Like me, youre probably not particularly tall, handsome, rich, or charming. Still, most women dont consider you unattractive. In fact, youve probably never struggled to meet women at nightlife venues. But, because frequenting bars and clubs is no longer a desirable option for you, the idea of meeting women on Match.com and OkCupid.com really intrigues you.
However , your introduction to online dating has been less than ideal. Not only have you had to deal with too many fake and inactive profiles of women on these sites, you have also had to get used to the idea of being ignored by most of the women you message. Not surprisingly, you might have considered giving up on online dating.
I felt the same way about online dating not too long ago after only one of the 96 women I messaged on Match.com and OkCupid.com emailed me back. But, after several months of strategic experimentation, I was able to casually date over 50 attractive women from the two dating sites in less than six months.
What if you also understood the rules of the online dating game and knew exactly how to execute my online dating strategy? Would you also date a ton of sexy women? Or would you be more inclined to look for your soul mate?
Regardless of your intent, this book will transform your love life. My tried-and-true advice will show you how to create an intriguing online dating profile, write funny emails that women cannot ignore, and post attractive photographs of yourself. In addition, Ill teach you how to read between the lines when looking at womens online dating profiles, gauge how playful they are and how interested they are in you, and make them qualify themselves to you.
I ll even briefly discuss how you can pass the surreptitious tests women use to filter out men on online dating sites. Most importantly, Ill advise you on the types of women you should not contact on dating websites and how to not come across as an unattractive man to women on these sites.
As you can imagine, you wont be able to master online dating overnight. The more proficient you become at implementing my recommendations, the better your online dating outcomes will be. Fortunately, by following my recommendations you will begin your journey towards becoming an expert online dater on the right foot and not waste time experimenting with strategies that are ineffective or inefficient. Consequently, you might see a dramatic improvement in the number and quality of women you meet online within one to two weeks of implementing my recommendations.
In the past when I explained the basics of my online dating strategy to other people, they often asked me if being so strategic in my interactions with women on the internet made the interactions boring and far too predictable. Ive always answered this question by stating that while the interactions do become more predictable, they are usually very entertaining. Additionally, predictability is not always a bad thing. It can help you be a better judge of character during your interactions with women. Even more importantly, it will definitely help you to not slip up and say anything in your emails that turns women off or freaks them out.
Before discussing my online dating recommendations, let me show you a very amusing interaction I had with an OkCupid member last year to prove to you that even if you are strategic in your interactions with women online, these interactions do not have to be boring.
Ch . 2 - Responds extremely selectively
One fine Saturday morning, I lay in bed while checking out the women on OkCupid on my iPhone. This particular online dating service uses a one to five star rating system to rate how attractive a person is. I set my search parameters to only return results for women who were rated five stars. While scrolling through the results, I noticed a brunette who had long silky hair, a body that looked incredible in a two-piece bikini, and an adorable smile.
This lawyer had logged on to OkCupid about twenty minutes ago. As I reviewed her profile, two things jumped out at me. There was a little OKCupid ticker next to her photograph that stated Responds extremely selectively. And one of her photographs showed her hugging her chubby cat who she insisted was not fat. So, I made the first move. The result of my action is shown below. My messages are highlighted in blue.