Youth workers will find this book invaluable. Its practical advice built on sound research will meet a desperate need.
Tony Campolo, Author of Growing Up in America
Unique and urgently needed is the best way to describe this practical book.
H. Norman Wright, Author of Crisis Counseling
This book has great potential to become the reference guide for counselors who have contact with teenagers.
Gary R. Collins, Editor of Christian Counseling Today
Dr. Parrott has furnished a brilliant handbook for all who work with teens. It is required reading for my students in youth ministry.
Donald M. Joy, Asbury Theological Seminary
Les Parrott has put his sensitive finger on the pulse of adolescent problems and has come up with an array of practical, effecting helping techniques. His advice comes from his heart as well as from his extensive research.
Philip G. Zimbardo, Stanford University
This is an excellent tool for counselors and youth workers. Dr. Parrott has an easy style that facilitates understanding the heart of the problem and how to assist each struggling child.
Stephen Arterburn, Founder, New Life Clinics
Only on rare occasions does a book come across my desk that is intriguing, practical, and theoretically insightful. This is one of those rare books.
G. Keith Olson, Author of Counseling Teenagers
Les Parrott speaks from a platform of professional understanding and practical experience. This book will provide very practical help to the counselor in the trenches.
Jay Kesler, President,Taylor University
Les Parrott understands adolescents and what troubles them. This is a practical and biblically based handbook.
Stephen A. Hayner, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
Dr. Parrott has assembled a compassion-based approach to helping young people in very practical and effective ways. I highly recommend this book.
Dub Ambrose,Youth Publications for United Methodist Church
This book is well researched and documented. Dr. Parrotts warmth and poignant examples make this a supremely readable book.
Robert S. McGee, Founder, Rapha Hospital Treatment Centers
ZONDERVAN
Helping the Struggling Adolescent
Copyright 2000 by Les Parrott
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.
ePub Edition June 2009 ISBN: 0-310-86242-6
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Parrott, Les.
Helping the struggling adolescent : a guide to thirty-six common problems for counselors, pastors, and youth workers / Les Parrott III.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 0-310-23407-7
1. TeenagersCounseling ofUnited States. 2. Church work with teenagersUnited States. 3. Adolescent psychologyUnited States. I. Title.
HV1431 .P37 2000
362.7083dc21 00-023350
CIP
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Interior design by Amy E. Langeler
To the two people who provided me
with boundless hope during my adolescent years.
I dedicate this work to my mom and dad,
Les and Lora Lee Parrott,
with love and affection
T he first words of this book were written on an airplane as I was returning home to Seattle from Indianapolis, where I had addressed a gathering of parents, ministers, and counselors. They had come from across the country to talk about helping struggling adolescents. Their dedication, compassion, and enthusiasm were self-evident, and a company of people never encouraged a writer more than they did me. Helping the Struggling Adolescent was inspired by these people and written for thousands like them.
I am indebted to my colleagues at Seattle Pacific University who understand and encourage my calling to integrate spiritual values with human understanding. I am especially thankful for the prayerful support of my colleagues in the School of Social and Behavioral Sciences and the Department of Psychology.
The pages of this book represent the combined effort and expertise of many professionals who reviewed and critiqued particular chapters. The following specialists deserve not only acknowledgment, but my profound gratitude: Dub Ambrose, Roy Barsness,Alan Basham, Charles Bombardier, John Court,Wendy Fisher, Stan Gaede, Joy Hammersla, Dan Hartman, Donald Joy, James Mallory, David Massey, Steve Moore,Thanne Moore, Carol Parrott, Cliff Penner, Cindy Perrin, Robin Perrin, Kim Lampson-Reif, Michael Roe, Randy Rowland, Denny Rydberg, Suzanne Shelton, JoAnne Smatlan, James Scott Smith, Pat Springle, Les Steele, Scott Willis, Mitch Woltersdorf, MichaelVitiello, and Philip Zimbardo. The discerning questions and thoughtful input of these people have been immensely helpful. Although none of these individuals can be held responsible for weaknesses that remain, they have all made contributions to whatever strengths this book contains.
A debt of thanks is also owed to the people who have helped me improve my craft of writing. Luke Reinsma and Rose Reynoldson generously gave of their time to help me rework the first draft of this manuscript while it still suffered from the disease of clutter. I am indebted to Lori VandenBosch, Sandy Vander Zicht, and Jim Ruark, my editors at Zondervan, for their personal touch and heartfelt desire to help those who work with struggling adolescents. I am also grateful for Stan Gundrys vision and confidence in this project. The library work of my research assistantsJon Anderson, Sarah Timmons, and Steve Scottwas invaluable. Janice Lundquist and Mindy Galbreath, as usual, helped me keep the details of my life running smoothly during this project.
The long, lonely hours in front of my computer were compensated for by the energizing support of friends who put up with my struggling adolescent obsession. Special thanks go to my pastor,Tharon Daniels, for the cathartic talks while jogging around Green Lake, and to my friend, Steve Moore, for affirming the dream.
To my wife, Leslie, I owe more than gratitude. It is difficult for me to imagine how any human being could give more to another than she has given to me. Her positive spirit helped create an environment that made this book possible. Her patience, vision, and unswerving dedication to our relationship know no bounds. Nor does my love for her.
Finally, I want to thank the adolescents who trusted me with the personal struggles that have defined their pilgrimage. They have taught me much.