Jackie Blake - Dating as a Spiritual Adventure: Avoid Red Flags, Rock the Journey and Find the One

Dating as a
Spiritual
Adventure

Avoid Red Flags, Rock the Journey
and Find The One

JACKIE BLAKE

Copyright 2016 Jackie Blake.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5043-6705-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6727-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 10/12/2016

Contents

This work is dedicated to my holistic healing coach and teacher John McMullin. I have no words to thank you for what you have done to help me grow as a woman and help others. You changed the direction of my life. Much of the work in this book is derived from the work I did with you. I hope I did it justice. (More about John McMullin and his work can be found at www.journeysofwisdom.com).

This work is also dedicated to my best friend Isabel De Los Rios, whos had to listen to my stories since our senior year of college. You are my best friend, my unpaid therapist and a model of how I want to live my life. Is every woman blessed with a best friend that can hold her in the highest regard, even when she doesnt hold herself there? If not they should be. I only hope other women can find a friend like you who is an example of a woman who had the courage to follow the highest callings of her soul and can give her friends advice from a healed and whole place. I cant clone you, so the next best thing was to write this book.

You know the feeling. There is a very logical voice whispering in the back of your head. Its telling you to walk away. And youre trying pretty hard to listen to it, but its being drowned out by a much more exciting and dramatic singing and dancing musical troupe, complete with brass band and tap-dancing shoes urging you, at full volume: Jump in, jump in, jump in

The operatic-singing-dancing-musical-chorus is oxytocin the love hormone that creates the chemistry we describe when we find ourselves warm and glowing after meeting someone were physically attracted to. Even a small hug or kiss from this attractive individual can send absurd amounts of this powerful love-drug shooting through our bodies each drop taking with it (and dont hold me to the science here) logical, rational thoughts.

As a coach, I saw it everyday in clients. As a single woman in her thirties, I have seen it plenty with my friends (and, of course, myself). Wonderfully sane individuals whose rose-tinted oxytocin glasses persuade them to romanticize situations that would normally make them run in the opposite direction. The tempestuous water looks inviting. You jump in. But suddenly you realize youve forgotten how to swim. Well, now Jackies insightful book offers a lifejacket to grab onto when the love-drug tsunami arrives.

I had worked as a business and life coach for a few years when I met Jackie. Despite having coaching tools up to my eyeballs, I couldnt get my fitness mojo on, so asked around for a recommendation for someone that matched my very specific, and totally contradictory, criteria for a personal trainer: someone who would push the hell out of me but be really easy on me, someone whod make me burn but never make it hurt, and someone whod kick me into action but never make me feel bad when I didnt perform.

Strut in Jackie Blake. A perfect blend of contradictions. With her small Ill kick your butt powerhouse body and her voluptuous Ill seduce you before you know it hair. With her can-do, straight-shooter attitude and her dont mess with me wiggle. All tied up with a huge smile and a warm, hearty laugh as she tells you like it is.

Jackies natural kindness, spirituality and commitment to her work have an amazing way of making you feel totally comfortable and at ease while keeping you in-check --one of those unique women who somehow manage to squeeze deeply spiritual insights and outrageously bawdy jokes into the same sentence. A woman who has had her fair share of knocks, but just bounces right up with even better hair and a little more wiggle. So theres no one better to give you advice when the oxytocin kicks in and you need some serious sense knocked into you. Fast.

Heres the deal ladies. Its not that you dont see the warning signs. You do. You know them well. Youve been here before. And so have your friends. So, youre going to read this book with an occasional flinch and a knowing nod of the head, Yup, that was Tim or Josh or Joe. You can be sure youve met someone wholl fit the description. And you can be sure youll both cheer and groan as you recognize yourself too.

What Ive learnt from my coaching clients and my friends is that knowing in and of itself doesnt always change behavior. We just dive in, time and again, with eyes wide shut.

Dating as a Spiritual Adventure helps you look beyond the knowing feeling to the why. Whats the pattern youre repeating? What does the situation trigger in you that makes it hard to let it go? How can you turn down the volume on the musical-troupe to have a sensible conversation about your future, about your safety and about your true worth? Jackies book offers the insightful questions that move you from knowing to acting differe ntly.

Which is why I made a flashcard with the gems of wisdom I picked up from Jackies book. Id like to pass these gems to clients, friends and random people in the street that looked like they may have succumbed to the brass brand musical performance. I hope you will too.

Listen with your instinct, not just your ears (or your oxytocin!)

Save yourself (cause youll never save him)

Have the courage to walk away (have faith in the big picture)

Get curious about your own patterns and past, as well as (and before!) his

Beware the conquer mentality (Alpha girls, you know who you are)

As you read this book, youll feel like youre sitting with Jackie at home, curled up on your couch with a big mug of coffee, as she chats away to you about her dating experiences. Shell make you laugh, shell make you wince or cry, but shell also center and empower you. Youll want to be her friend, and youll feel like you are.

Because the book is just like Jackie: itll push the hell out of you but be really easy on you, will make you burn but never make it hurt, and will kick you into action but never make you feel bad when you dont perform well.