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Jonathan JP Pokluda - Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed

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Jonathan JP Pokluda Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed

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Speaker, pastor, and author of Welcome to Adulting shares a Christ-centered, biblical view on dating, helping you dispel dating and marriage myths, avoid dating pitfalls, and thrive in healthy relationships.

Jonathan JP Pokluda: author's other books


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Endorsements

Every Christian I know who isnt married yet is looking for dating advice. How to do this well in our day, with our technology and our culture, is a leading conversation, and honestly, JP is the leading expert. In this book, with kindness, compassion, and thoughtfulness, JP gives godly wisdom that walk us toward the relationships with God, others, and ourselves that we really want.

Annie F. Downs, bestselling author of Days to Brave and host of That Sounds Fun podcast

Modern dating is already outdated. It causes pain and problems and leads to confusion and frustration. In Outdated , JP reveals that the Bible is full of wisdom principles you can use to find incredible joy in datingand a lasting love for life. Some people think that following what is fashionable in dating is the way to go. The truth is Outdated has the timeless secrets of relationship favor for you.

Kyle Idleman, author Not a Fan and Don t Give Up

Everything about dating has changed, and there is no one I trust more to help you navigate it than JP! He is a leader for the next generation.

Jennie Allen, New York Times bestselling author of Get Out of Your Head and founder and visionary of IF:Gathering

If you are dating, you need this book in your life! Throughout this book, JP is constantly pointing you to the truth thats worth standing on while helping you dismantle the lies culture has sold us about dating. You can date and glorify God while doing it! Let this book be a guide to you on that journey!

Jamie Ivey, bestselling author and podcaster

Confusion and disappointment are the two main words I hear from young adults when chatting about dating and relationships in todays landscape. Yet there also isnt much wisdom or good voices out there. Thats why I love Outdated and JP. This book is powerful, tactical, wise, and inspiring all at the same time. We are due for a fresh vision on all things dating and relationship related, and JP delivers that to us in this amazing book.

Jefferson Bethke, author of Take Back Your Family

One thing is for certain: dating in todays culture is confusing, twisted, and often filled with frustration and disappointment. Something needs to change. Outdated offers a clear and practical roadmap for dating in a new way. Unafraid of being incredibly forward, JP is powerfully direct in his words as he dismantles some of the top dating myths in culture today and replaces them with powerful, life-altering truth. If you are single or dating, without question you need this book in your hands.

Kait Warman, author of Thank You for Rejecting Me , relationship coach, and founder of Heart of Dating

If only I could go back and give this book to my college self! JPs practical wisdom and insight would have saved me from so much unnecessary pain. Here is a textbook on dating that is saturated with Scripture, pregnant with hope, and authenticated by real life experience. I commend Outdated to any and every young adult. I beg you to view it as required reading for the sake of your joy. There is no need to risk several wrong turns when JP is handing you a map. Keep this resource close by throughout young adulthood.

Timothy Ateek, executive director of Breakaway Ministries

Next to the decision to follow Jesus, there is no decision more significant that who you will marry. This book is a must-read for anyone trying to successfully navigate love, sex, dating, and marriage.

David Marvin, leader of The Porch

Outdated is a valuable resource to those who are navigating the tumultuous waters of dating and relationships in todays world! My friend JP gives voice to the struggles that many people face in dating and offers helpful, specific direction on what it looks like to change the landscape of dating and relationships for the better.

Ben Stuart, pastor of Passion City Church DC and author of Single, Dating, Engaged, Married

Title Page
Copyright Page

2021 by Jonathan Pokluda

Published by Baker Books

a division of Baker Publishing Group

PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.bakerbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2021

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-1-4934-2871-7

Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

The author is represented by the literary agency of The Gates Group Literary Agency.

Dedication

To someone who has been ghosted and feels forgotten.
To anyone looking for a road map to dating in the church. For the helpless romantic who hasnt lost hope.
This was written for you.

Jonathan Pokluda

Contents

Cover

Endorsements

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Introduction

PART 1: WHY WE DATE

1. Dating for Fun

2. Singleness Is a Problem to Be Fixed

PART 2: WHO WE DATE

3. The One

4. Love at First Sight

5. Love Is a Feeling

6. A Perfect Match

PART 3: HOW WE DATE

7. Playing Games

8. No Strings Attached

10. Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

11. You Know When You Know

12. Happily Ever After

Notes

About the Author

Back Ads

Back Cover

Introduction

Everyone wants to be loved.

I cant think of a truer statement of human nature than that. It is perhaps our greatest desire. Although I already knew this to be true, it came into full view for me as I watched thousands of twenty- and thirtysomethings crowd into a room every Tuesday for worship and teaching from the Bible at a gathering called The Porch. The reason so many people would attend The Porch in addition to their regular Sunday services was that these Tuesday evenings were focused on the topics and issues most relevant to people in their twenties and thirties. The sermons would cover things like career decisions, managing finances, finding your purpose, making an impact with your life, overcoming addictionsno subject was off-limits, and over the years we covered just about every topic you could think of, in addition to teaching through books of the Bible.

However, there was one topic that always stood out.

About once a year, wed have a series about dating. And without fail, those were always the most-anticipated, most-attended, most-talked-about sermons of the year. The auditorium would be full to the rafters. We streamed all of our services online and posted them as podcasts, and the dating talks would always get the highest viewership and the most downloads. So many people would come forward after the service looking for advice, or email or call us with questions during the following days, that we had to extend each dating series by a week so that we could have one Tuesday devoted just to answering peoples questions in a rapid-fire format. And after seeing this happen over and over again for a decade at The Porch, a year ago I moved to a college town to lead another church that also has a weekly young adult ministryand the same thing is happening here. I even started doing a weekly Q&A on Instagram, and though people can ask literally anything, I end up getting hundreds of questions each week about relationships and dating.

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