Gerald Hiestand - Sex, Dating, And Relationships: A Fresh Approach

In a world of cyber relationshipsfueled by Facebook, texts, and tweetsthe issues surrounding sex, dating, and relationships have become increasingly complex and challenging for teens, their friends, and their parents. This cutting-edge treatment of the rapidly changing scene is a must-read for parents, students, counselors, and pastors. A big thanks to Gerald and Jay for helping us think sanely through this head-scratching cultural shift from a realistic and theologically astute perspective.

Joe Stowell, President, Cornerstone University

Jay and Gerald have written a provocative book on one of the most pressing issues of our generationsexual purity. As the authors show, few things necessitate getting to the core of the gospel like our souls craving for sexual fulfillment. We cannot think too carefully about what our heavenly Father has said. Even where I reach different conclusions from the authors, I am grateful for another investigation of the biblical data.

J. D. Greear, Lead Pastor, The Summit Church, Durham,North Carolina

Simplicity is the strength of this fresh approach to sex, dating, and relationships. If at first you chafe at the idea of dating friendships, consider whether any alternative can bring greater glory to God, account for the biblical evidence, and guard against unnecessary heartache.

Collin Hansen, Editorial Director, The Gospel Coalition; author,Young, Restless, and Reformed

What a gift this book is to single men and women. Here, in brief space, is clear and closely reasoned advice that is ber-biblical and Christ-centered. It flows with life-giving grace. Sex, Dating, and Relationships will be a landmark read for many in this generation.

Kent Hughes, author, Disciplines of a Godly Young Man

Christ-centered reflection on sex, dating, and relationships has been a long time coming; thankfully, it has finally arrived. This volume is a must-read for anyone doing ministry among humans.

Chris Castaldo, Director, Ministry of Gospel Renewal, Billy Graham Center

Hiestand and Thomas dont kiss dating goodbye; what fun would that be? Instead, dating is revealed for what it is, which might disturb you. The greatest strength of this book is the contribution the authors make toward thinking biblically about something not in the Bible, which isnt so easy to do. So it is possible that some might agree with their premises and the trajectory of their arguments, yet differ on some of the specific conclusions. But all will be challenged and blessed by their wise contributions to this vitally important issue.

Rick Hove, Executive Director, Faculty Commons, Campus Crusade for Christ

How refreshing! Gerald and Jay have written a biblically based, gospel-oriented book on sex, dating, and relationshipsfull of genuine, down-to-earth, practical instruction. This is exactly what Christians need to counteract the worldly attitudes and actions so prevalent in our churches today. It is imperative to think through these issues, and this is the best book I have read for doing so. Dating relationships are so fraught with danger that no Christian should embark on that journey without a guide. I strongly recommend this book as just such a guide.

Jim Samra, Senior Pastor, Calvary Church, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Gerald and Jay provide solid wisdom for emerging adults and parents on an issue of extreme importance in our day. Young adults who wish to follow Jesus wholeheartedly are faced daily with an onslaught of sexual temptation. Whats more, they are largely ill-equipped to negotiate the sex-saturated culture in which they live. I believe that the teaching in this book, if lived out, will lead to a godly marriage of passion and purity.

Joel Willitts, Associate Professor of Biblical and Theological Studies, North Park University; College Pastor, Christ Community Church, St. Charles, Illinois

Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach

Copyright 2012 by Gerald Hiestand and Jay Thomas

Published by Crossway
1300 Crescent Street
Wheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law.

Portions of this work were published in Raising Purity: Helping Parents Understand the Bibles Perspective on Sex, Dating, and Relationships. Copyright 2010 by Gerald Hiestand (Iustificare Press, Rolling Meadows, IL).

Cover design: Connie Gabbert Design

First printing 2012

Printed in the United States of America

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV Bible ( The Holy Bible, English Standard Version ), copyright 2001 by Crossway. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked nasb are from The New American Standard Bible. Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-2711-1
PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-2712-8
Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-2713-5
EPub ISBN: 978-1-4335-2714-2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Hiestand, Gerald, 1974
Sex, dating, and relationships : a fresh approach / Gerald Heistand and Jay Thomas.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-4335-2602-2 (hc)
1. Single peopleReligious life. 2. SexReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Dating (Social customs)Religious aspectsChristianity. I. Thomas, Jay, 1974 . II. Title.
BV4596.S5H54 2012
248.8'4dc23 2011033919

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To Babyopia, in hope

Searching for Clarity

As he who called you is holy,
you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written,
You shall be holy, for I am holy.
THE APOSTLE PETER (1 PET. 1:1516)

The church is in a bit of a mess when it comes to sexual ethics, and Christian singles are bearing the brunt of it. No doubt things could be worse (just read 1 Corinthians 5:11). But certainly we could be doing better. Much better. The hook-up culture, so prevalent on the college campus (and now even in our high schools and middle schools) represents a sea change in sexual mores from even twenty years ago. Sex has become casual, devoid of intimacy; it no longer requires even a pretense of ongoing commitment.