Joshua Harris - I Kissed Dating Goodbye Study Guide

T HE I Kissed Dating Goodbye Study Guide was created to help people share in the journey of seeking Gods will for romance. Its designed to spark dialogue and get people talking openly and honestly about relationships. Most important, it challenges participants to apply the principles of I Kissed Dating Goodbye (IKDG) to their lives.

The IKDG Study Guide is extremely versatile. It can be used by a group or by an individual, who answers the questions in a private journal.

The study guide is written primarily for two or more people who want to walk through the book together. Whether this is a group of five friends who meet weekly at a coffee shop or twenty people in a Sunday school class, this guide can be adapted to meet your needs.

Regardless of the size of the group, its helpful to have one person serve as the leader. This person assigns the appropriate chapter for the group to read before the meeting, leads in asking the questions, and facilitates discussion.

If youre the one leading, youll find that the study guide is designed to make your job as easy as possible. Following is a description of the elements included in each chapter and how they can serve you.

This summary is a great way to quickly familiarize yourself with the essence of each chapter from the book. Its also written to be read out loud to your group to refresh their memory (A Key Quote and Key Scripture is included along with a list of Scripture passages referenced in the chapter.)

The Goal of Discussion gives you a succinct game plan for you and your group to focus on. It can also be read aloud to your group.

Ten questions are included for each chapter. Theyre divided into categories that allow you to start off on a lighter note and then ease into more serious questions.

Icebreakers

These discussion starters are nonthreatening ways to get people talking. Have fun with these.

Getting Serious

These midrange questions ask what people think of ideas or concepts in the book. Theyre more intellectually provoking than the Icebreakers but less personal than the Being Real questions that follow.

Being Real

These are the most important questions because they point to application. They take the discussion from What do you think about an idea? to How are you living your life, and what are you going to do to change? Try to spend most of your time on these questions.

Just for Guys and Just for Girls

Here youll find one question for guys and one for girls. This is helpful if youre meeting with a group of the same sex or if you separate a mixed group toward the end of a meeting.

Each chapter closes with a brief personal commentary on the chapter by the author. Joshua then expands on the chapter topic, clarifies a point, or just takes things in an unexpected direction. Group leaders will find it helpful to read the Reflection before leading a meeting and in some cases to read it aloud to the group to spark discussion.

James 1:22 says, Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Remind the people in your group that merely reading a book and talking about it wont produce change. Real change occurs after we close the book and do something about it. As you progress through the study guide, take time during your meetings to have people share what changes theyve made.

While application is important, no one can change in every area all at once. Encourage members of your group to begin by trying to apply just one point from the chapter.

The questions in the IKDG Study Guide were written to provoke discussion and even debate. Ban yes and no answers. Encourage people in your group to share from their hearts, not just parrot the right answer from I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Giving only expected or acceptable answers will not help them examine their own lives.

This study guide exists to serve youdont become a slave to it. If one question opens up a fruitful discussion, go with it! Dont feel you have to work through all of the questions. Take opportunities for the group to pray spontaneously for someone who expresses a need. Let Gods Spirit, not this books format, guide you.

Make sure to tell people when you see them growing in a certain area no matter how small it is. The best way to motivate your group members is to offer lots of praise and encouragement.

In the midst of focusing on human relationships, make sure that the groups primary motive is to please and honor God. Begin and end your time with prayer.

Enjoy the journey! Remember, only Gods Spirit can work real change in our lives. May your groups use of this study guide be used by God to bring about life-changing results.

We have also included study questions to accompany the I Kissed Dating Goodbye Video Series created by Josh Harris and Multnomah Publishers (this series was previously titled Searching for True Love). The series consists of three videos (Love, Purity, and Trust) that further explore some of the topics discussed in I Kissed Dating Goodbye. These videos are an ideal companion to this study guide. Mixing drama, real-life testimonials, and on-the-street interviews with challenging messages from Josh, the videos are fast-paced and engaging. Theyre perfect for any-size group (such as a Sunday school class, youth group, or even a small group meeting in a living room) to encourage discussion and growth.

Beyond What Feels Good, Back to What Is Good

Chapter 1 opens with the story of Annas wedding nightmare. It illustrates how typical dating cheats us and our future spouse out of all that God intends for us in marriage. Each girlfriend or boyfriend we have takes a piece of our heart when the relationship ends.

If we want Gods best in our relationships, we have to play by His rules. Instead of following the worlds patterns of dating, we must take our cues from His Word and learn biblical or smart love (Philippians 1:9-10). The priority of this kind of love is not our needs, our selfish desires, or even our feelings, but pleasing God and doing what is best for others. If we are willing to break away from the harmful patterns of typical dating, we can discover Gods best for our lives.