Joshua Harris - Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World

SEX IS NOT THE PROBLEM (LUST IS)
published by Multnomah Books

2003 by Joshua Harris
International Standard Book Number: 978-1-59052-519-7
eISBN: 978-0-307-56324-8

Cover image by Stephen Gardner, PixelWorksStudio.net
Author photo by Matt Mendelsohn photography

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from: The Holy Bible, New International Version 1973, 1984 by International Bible Society, used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House
Other Scripture quotations are from: The Holy Bible, English Standard Version ( ESV )
2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
The Message
1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002
Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group Holy Bible, New Living Translation ( NLT )
1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.

M ULTNOMAH and its mountain colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission.

For information:
MULTNOMAH BOOKS
12265 ORACLE BOULEVARD, SUITE 200 COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 80921

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Harris, Joshua.
Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) / by Joshua Harris.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 978-1-59052-519-7
1. LustReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4627.L8H37 2003
241.3dc21
2003010045

v3.1

For my children,
Emma Grace
and
Joshua Quinn.

W hen I first told my father-in-law I was writing a book on lust, he humorously asked, So are you for it or against it? I laughed and told him that Im against lust and that I think theres already enough literature in favor of it! But later I realized that the message of this book is not that Im against lust, but that Im for Gods plan for sexual desire. Yes, lust is bad. But its bad because what it perverts is so good.

Some people have the mistaken notion that God is anti-sex. In fact, Hes outspokenly pro-sex! He invented it. What an incredible thought! Passionate sex was Gods idea. He isnt embarrassed by it. Song of a Songs is an entire book in the Bible dedicated to celebrating pure sex in marriage.

Part of the challenge Christians face in a lust-filled world is remembering that neither sex nor sexuality is our enemy. Sex is not the problemlust is the problem. Its the enemy and has hijacked sexuality. We need to keep reminding ourselves that our goal is to rescue our sexuality from lust so we can experience it the way God intended.

That being said, let me be the first to admit that I need this book as much as or more than anyone else who will ever read it. I wrote it not because Ive conquered lust and have a foolproof plan for you to follow; I wrote it because Ive experienced Gods power to change, and I know He wants you to experience that power too.

Two years ago, I was preparing to give a message on lust when I realized that the book I wanted to consult hadnt been written. That book would make it clear that only Jesus Christ can free us from the hopeless treadmill of shame and guilt that so many well-intentioned people end up on. It would be a PG-rated book that would instill a love for holiness and a hatred for lust without dragging the readers imagination through the gutter. And it would be for both men and women, because Ive learned that lust isnt just a guy problemits a human problem.

This is my humble attempt to write that book. And though Im now happily married, much of what youll read is directed toward single men and women. Thats because so often its during the single years that lust gains a foothold in a persons life. But the principles in this book arent limited to singles or to a certain age group. I hope many married people will read it and benefit too.

If youre a Christian, I want to remind you of truths you may have allowed to slip. If youre reading this and youre not a Christian, please dont let my religious terms scare you off. If youre frustrated by the way lust controls and shapes your life and are plagued by guilt, I want to introduce you to the Savior who has forgiven me and changed my life.

Ive learned that I can only fight lust in the confidence of my total forgiveness before God because of Jesus death for me. My guilt and shame, even self-inflicted punishment, can never cleanse me. Even my good works cant buy my forgiveness. I need a Savior. I need grace.

Author Jerry Bridges says it best: Every day of our Christian experience should be a day of relating to God on the basis of His grace alone, he writes. Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of Gods grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of Gods grace.

Whether youre having a good day or bad day, my prayer is that something in this small book will introduce you to the life you really wanta life more pleasing to God, a life marked by deep inward purity, a life that knows both the pleasure and the freedom of holiness.

J OSHUA H ARRIS

S even of us were gathered in the dimly lit living room. A single sheet of notebook paper passed slowly between each person. Finally, it came to me. I scanned the numbered list then solemnly signed my name at the bottom of the page.

The contract, as we had come to call it, was a strict code of conduct, a list of promises that each of us was vowing to follow for the coming year.