Julie Lauren - Oops!: An Insiders Guide to Dating, Sex, and Relationships in Your 20s

Any application of the recommended material in this book is at the sole risk of the reader, and at the readers discretion. Responsibility of any injuries or other adverse effects resulting from the application of any of the information provided within this book is expressly disclaimed. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Published by Gatekeeper Press

3971 Hoover Rd. Suite 77

Columbus, OH 43123-2839

Copyright 2015 By Julie Lauren LLC

All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any parts within it may be sold or reproduced in any form without permission.

Cover Artwork by Merilliza Chan

Editing by Monica Wanat

ISBN (paperback): 9781619849501

eISBN: 9781619849495

Printed in the U.S.A

To learn more and connect with Julie, visit www.byjulielauren.com.

Y ou have recently graduated college and you have moved to Manhattan (or some other fabulous place.) Your dreams are awaiting. Youre in the city that never sleeps, after all. You are meeting new people and hot on the dating scene. While Im not a licensed therapist nor am I a doctor, I am a girl who has navigated NYC life, dated, hooked up, been heart broken, and had one hell of a time along the way. What you are holding in your hands is a handbook full of factual experiences and my observations. In the pages ahead, you will read about the harsh realities of men and women in their 20s when it comes to dating, relationships, and sex. I warn you; I can be blunt. Its real. Its raw. Think Sex and the City meets Hes Just Not That Into You.

Youre welcome.

Love always,

I dedicate this book to my friends who I have experienced some of my best moments with in New York City. Because of your stories, this handbook is possible. And now girls and guys in their 20s can not only enjoy our escapades, but learn something, as well. I love you, ladies.

O h, where to begin.

First, I want to thank you, the person who is about to read my first ever book. I truly hope you enjoy it.

A massive thank you goes out to my husband, my parents, and the rest of my family for always being nothing less than absolutely and incredibly supportive of me. Sometimes I have crazy dreams, but the fact that they always have my back means everything.

To my friends you know who you are, thank you. Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me. I couldnt do it without you. And to the ones who helped with the title of my book and gave me their opinions whenever I asked. A special call out to my NYC girls this book wouldnt have been possible without you and your stories. It was sure one hell of a time we had.

Mark Darren thank you for contributing some of your amazing stories and words of wisdom. We always enjoyed comparing notes from both sides of the fence.

To Rob and the rest of the Gatekeeper Press team thank you for making this dream of mine come to life.

A published book. Wow. Its hard to believe that something I have dreamt of since I was a little girl has finally happened. Dont ever give up on your dreams. No dream is too big. If you want it, go for it. Do it. Nothing is stopping you. Nothing at all.

THANK YOU!

L ooking back on my college years, I feel I was such a fool. I can admit it now, but back then, I truly made up every excuse under the sun for what it meant when I got the 2am text message from the boy I was swooning over. It took me a few years but then I finally realized what it didnt mean. It did NOT mean he liked me. In fact, it meant he had very little respect for me and strictly wanted to use me for a sexy time situation. This leads me to...

OK, ladies lets break this down. As its been pointed out time and time again, if a guy likes you, he will do anything in his power to take you out and see you. However, let me clear something up that may have not been cleared up before if he is only texting you at night on the weekends, this does not mean he wants you.

Youre probably thinking: Thats not true. He ALWAYS messages me first on the weekends. If he didnt like me, he wouldnt do that.

Oh, sweet girl. Youre probably a beautiful girl who could get a wonderful guy, but this one youre hung up on does not want you in the way you hope he would. He messages you first great, but hes messaging you at 2am on a Friday. Earth to you, sweet girl, hes HORNY. Hes a guy in his mid-20s who, yes, may find you quite attractive, but he doesnt want to date you. He doesnt want to hang out with you sober. He solely wants you for what you give him sexually. If youre OK with this, then by all means, have fun and enjoy this no strings attached situation, but I can promise you this will not turn into a relationship, a marriage, and a white picket fence.

If youre a young 20 something girl and are having fun while not getting hurt, this isnt such a bad option. If you start having feelings for him thoughand, be honest with yourself, because you are the one who will sufferjust stop.

If you can manage this sort of situation though, play away, my dear!

Just remember when the clock starts ticking to the wee early hours of the morning and the texts start being exchanged, sex is sex, and its strictly JUST sex when its being propositioned at 2am.

Like I said, Im going to be brutal with you, and please dont hate me for it.

Youll thank me one day, I pinky promise!

Something that used to come up a lot with my guy and girl friends would be the conversation about playing hard to get the game, so to speak) and when it crosses the line. There are times when playing this game is beneficial and effective, but there are times when it can drive a guy (or girl) almost mental!!

There has been enough talk to last us years explaining that it is very unlikely a boy is interested in a girl if hes not actively pursuing her and making a valiant effort to be with her. Well, what about the other way around?

Let me set the stage for you youre out at a bar on the Lower East Side, you meet a girl through a friend of a college friend of a camp friend who knew this girl growing up. You know all the same people, go to all the same places, and you really hit it off. You talk for the rest of the night, buy her drinks, get her number, make a tentative plan for next week to take her out, play tonsil hockey for a bit, and the night is over. You go to bed feeling like, Wow, I may have just met a girl I really could like. And we all know this isnt a common feeling among men in their mid-20s these days. Its not SO often you meet a girl you think you could really like beyond a hook up.

You debate messaging her the next day, but figure why not? You say you enjoyed meeting her and are looking forward to taking her out for drinks next week. She responds saying the same. All is grand.

On Monday, you call her, and she doesnt answer. Fine. Maybe shes playing hard to get. She texts you back an hour later saying shes still at work, going straight to dinner afterwards, but will try to call later.