What people are saying about
The 10 Myths of Teen Dating
For parents to understand their daughters better and help them navigate through dating, this book is a must-read.
Kim and Krickitt Carpenter, authors of The Vow
Dating is a cultural reality that is not going away. However, teenagers need guidelines. In The 10 Myths of Teen Dating , Dan Anderson gives realistic guidance. I highly recommend this book.
Gary Chapman, PhD, author of The Five Love Languages
The toughest period of parenting is during the teen years. I survived it with my three, but there were days when I wasnt sure. I wish Dans book had been available twenty-five years ago, but the good news is that its available now and offers real, commonsense, practical, and road-tested principles of parenting. Dont wait to read it until your kids are sixteenread it when they are twelve and be prepared!
Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas, former daily radio host of The Mike Huckabee Show , former television talk show host of Huckabee on Fox News Channel
Ive written extensively on teenage girls and preparing them for the challenges of sexual integrity. I believe The 10 Myths of Teen Dating is an exceptional work to help prepare your daughter for the complexities of the teen dating years. Dan and Jacquelyns book will open up conversations for you and your daughter that will help her date with maturity and grace.
Shannon Ethridge, MA, life/relationship coach, international speaker, and author of twenty-two books, including Every Young Womans Battle
Im the father of a soon-to-be teenage girl. I cant imagine a better book about teenagers and dating. The lessons of The 10 Myths of Teen Dating are sure to help any family.
Todd Hoffman, star of Discovery Channels Gold Rush
The 10 Myths of Teen Dating is a crucial book for parents as they guide their girls to become smart daters. This book, written by a wise father, educator, and husband, is filled with information and life lessons. It offers concrete advice on starting conversations that encourage girls to bring self-respect, awareness, and intentionality to their relationships.
Bea Herzberg, over one million Pinterest followers
Dan is a powerhouse. Every time Im around him, hes just buzzing with energy and vision and life. But unlike a lot of type-A personalities, hes also dripping with wisdom. This is a man whos been around, and who has become a wise sage. His many years as a father and high school teacher have created the incubator for wisdom to grow and thrive. This man is worth listening to: this book is worth reading.
John Mark Comer, pastor for teaching and vision at Bridgetown Church
After twelve years of Youth For Christ ministry, twenty years getting my two daughters through adolescence, and twenty-five years pastoring, I wish Dan had written this as many years ago. Dan is writing for our times and our daughters and sons, and I would make this must reading for clergy, rabbis, pastors, parents, and our kids.
Hugh Halter, US director of Forge America
THE 10 MYTHS OF TEEN DATING
Published by David C Cook
4050 Lee Vance View
Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A.
David C Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications
Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England
The graphic circle C logo is a registered trademark of David C Cook.
All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes,
no part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form
without written permission from the publisher.
The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.
Details in some stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.
Scripture quotations marked THE MESSAGE are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 2002. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV. Copyright 1973, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION and NIV are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica, Inc.
LCCN 2016941367
ISBN 978-0-7814-1421-0
eISBN 978-0-7814-1439-5
2016 Dan Anderson and Jacquelyn Anderson
Published in association with literary agent Tawny Johnson of D.C. Jacobson & Associates LLC, an Author Management Company. www.dcjacobson.com.
The Team: Ingrid Beck, Alice Crider, Liz Heaney, Amy Konyndyk, Nick Lee, Jack Campbell, Susan Murdock
Cover Design: Jon Middel
First Edition 2016
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
062716
CONTENTS
Foreword
Ever since our book The Vow was published we have gotten requests to endorse books and write forewords but we have generally been reluctant to do so. However, something about Dan and Jacquelyns book appealed to us from the start. Maybe it was how we came to meet them.
Kim was on a beach in Hawaii and spotted Todd Hoffman from the Discovery television show Gold Rush . A fan of the show, Kim struck up a conversation with Todd, and soon our families were having dinner together. It was over dinner that Todd mentioned that his brother-in-law Dan was working on a book for parents about their daughters and dating, two topics we have a vested interest in. We asked Dan to reach out to us so we could hear more about the book.
Later that year, Dan and Jacquelyn traveled to our home and we spent many hours together over dinner and bowling and got to know the two of them. What we really appreciate about them is that they are one of the only father-daughter teams we can think of. They write together and work together, and that is unique in our world today. What they have compiled in 10 Myths are some of the most practical, informative approaches to helping daughters deal with dating that we have ever seen.
We think this book is a must-read for all parents readying their children to enter into the dating stages of their young lives. What a fantastic approach Dan and Jacquelyn have taken to provide an insightful means to understand dating. Their experience as educators interacting with young people makes the book more meaningful and genuine.
What is even more amazing is that although this book was intended to ready young ladies and their families for smart dating, it really has a strong message for anyone in a relationship. Dan and Jacquelyn truly have an excellent understanding of what a healthy dating process encompasses. Even more powerful is how each dating myth is applicable to different people in different phases of relationships.
Because we are parents of a boy and girl who will soon be old enough to date, this book could not have been timed better. We both believe that how our own children date will have a direct impact on the quality of their marriages. We travel all over the world talking about marriage and relationships and see the devastation brought on by failed marriages. We think this book will be a tremendous tool for families to discuss dating and help their daughters make wise choices. We both hope you enjoy what we believe is an exceptional and important book for millions of readers.
Kim and Krickitt Carpenter
Introduction
A Different Kind of Dating Book
In 1971 my sister went on her first date. Because she was the oldest, our entire family was invested in this watershed moment and waited eagerly for her date to arrive. Even though I was only six, I remember it well. Her date pulled up in a VW bus. In typical 70s bus fashion, the windows were all becurtained. As the redheaded boy stepped out of the VW, I thought he looked just like Bernie from the TV show Room 222 . (You may want to Google image him. Trust me, you dont want to miss the hair.) With a bouncing, white-man fro he sauntered to the door, then whisked my sister away. They climbed into the van for the greatest night of my sisters life. Bernie turned the key, but the van wouldnt start. He turned it again, and again, all with the same result.