Ellen Fein - Not your mothers rules: the new secrets for dating

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Copyright 2013 by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider

All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

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First e-book edition: January 2013

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ISBN 978-1-4555-1257-7

A must-read [for] women seeking success in romance.

People

The Rules is not just a book, its a movement.

Time

There is a certain kind of woman who is given to long tousled hair, sheer black panty hose, and acting maddeningly elusive to every man She is breezy, confident, and independent, as well as coy, manipulative, and very, very hard to get. She is a Rules Girl.

New York Times

Waiting around is certainly not what Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have in mind. Their message is clear: Its to the battlefields. Arm yourself and become a full-time Rules Girl! Practice them! Memorize the book! Make him pursue you until you catch him! And live life happily ever after. Amen.

Detroit News

A lot of good advice Friends should read the book together, discuss The Rules and the reasons for them, and encourage each other to stick to The Rules. They may laugh at first, but if they follow The Rules, it will take a lot of stress off themselves, allow them to be happier in their lives, and pave the way for a lasting relationship with a man who does the pursuingand feels rewarded when he catches the woman he adores.

Baton Rouge Sunday Advocate

If youre a single woman trying to keep your own life from becoming a soap opera, then The Rules has something to tell you.

New Jersey Monthly

Lighthearted yet earnest Even if youre engaged or married, you still need these guidelines.

Jerusalem Post Literary Supplement

You caught him, now use The Rules II to get him to say I do Were not talking about a business deal here, but getting the man you want to propose and then to turn that proposal into an actual wedding dateits a feat some women would say can be tougher than any corporate transaction. Of course, its made much easier by doing The Rules.

Complete Woman

The Rules are just for dating, right? Wrong. In their new book, The Rules II, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider address the questions their readers have posedincluding tips on how to make any marriage better, happier, stronger.

Bridal Guide

Empowering The Rules books can give you control over your dating life.

Mademoiselle

Drumroll, please, for single-and-searching females! More help is here in The Rules II, the sequel to The Rules, the runaway New York Times bestseller.

San Antonio Express-News

If you play the dating game, then youll want The Rules II The follow-up book to the original dating bible.

American Woman

All the Rules

The Rules for Marriage

The Rules for Online Dating

The Rules Dating Journal

T HANKS TO OUR wonderful husbands, who were incredibly supportive while we were writing this book, as well as when our office phones rang off the hook with emergency consultations that sometimes interrupted family occasions! And thanks to our fantastic kids, who gave us their take on texting, Facebook, BlackBerry Messenger, iPhones, Skype, and Twitter! We couldnt have written this book without you or without our friends who freely shared their time and dating stories!

A special thanks to all our Rules contacts worldwide, as well as our dating coaches and clients and fans, who encouraged us to write a new book for the Y generation.

And a drumroll, please, for our brilliant literary agent and friend, Caryn Karmatz Rudy, who has always been generous with her time and talent and loyalty for the last fifteen-plus yearsand without whom Not Your Mothers Rules would have been an idea instead of a reality. Last but not least, thanks to Hachette Book Group USA (formerly Warner Books, which published our first book) and a special shout-out to our visionary editor Amanda Englander, who gave us fabulous direction and guidance and was one of our biggest cheerleaders.

H AS YOUR MOTHER or another relative, friend, or acquaintance ever said, Youre so pretty, smart, and nicewhy dont you have a boyfriend? Did you feel speechless because you couldnt figure it out either and were not sure what you were doing wrong in the dating department?

Women today manage to graduate with honors, climb the corporate ladder, win Olympic gold medals, and even run for president of the United States, but getting a guy to ask them out or commit is next to impossible! Alas, we know the reason why most pretty, smart, and nice women dont have a significant other: they either pursue guys or act too eager when guys make the first move!

Heres how it all started: About twenty years ago we were having dinner with five friends at a Chinese restaurant on the Upper East Side in New York City, a scene sort of like one from Sex and the City, but before Sex and the City existed. Every woman brought her dating problem to the table. We noticed that the women who played hard to get, either on purpose or because they were truly busy, got the guys, while the women who asked guys out or showed too much interest got dumped. We put two and two together, watched it work in real life, and decided to write a dating book to share the secrets of this phenomenon to help every woman on earthnot just our friendsdate successfully.

Simply put, The Rules are a way of acting around any guy who initiates conversation with you, whether in person or online, so he becomes obsessed with you and wants to commit. Yes, its about playing hard to get, because guys love a challenge and lose interest when anything is too easy