Ellen Fein - The Rules II: More Rules to Live and Love By

THE
RULES II

Also by the Authors

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A Daily Calendar for 1998

THE RULES NOTE CARDS

THE

RULES II

More Rules to
Live and Love By

ELLEN FEIN
AND SHERRIE SCHNEIDER

A Time Warner Company

Author Note:

We are not licensed to practice psychology, psychiatry, or social work, and The Rules is not in intended to replace any psychological counseling, but it is simply a dating philosophy based on our own experiences and those of thousands of women who have contacted us.

The Rules is a trademark of Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider

Portions of Chapter 27 first appeared in Ladies Home Journal.

THE RULES II:MORE RULES TO LOVE AND LIVE BY. Copyright 1997 by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

For information address Warner Books, Hachette Book Group, 237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017, Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

A Time Warner Company

The "Warner Books" name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

ISBN: 978-0-446-93012-3

First eBook Edition: July 2001

Contents

Acknowledgments

W e would like to thank our wonderful husbands and children for their love and support.

Special thanks, too, to our agent Stedman Mays at Connie Clausen & Associates.

A big thank you to everyone at Warner Books, in particular Chairman of Time Warner Trade Publishing Larry Kirshbaum, our Editor Caryn Karmatz Rudy, Senior Publicist Tina Andreadis, and Publicity Assistant Heather Fain.

And, of course, we owe our thanks to our mothers Sylvia and Margie, our friends, our staff, Rules contacts around the world, and the thousands of women who wrote and called and encouraged us to write The Rules II.

Most of all, we dedicate this book to the memory of Connie Clausen, our literary agent and friend.

Ellen and Sherrie

Foreword: The Rules Phenomenon

F our years ago, when we set out to write The Rules, we knew that we had an important message to share. We believed in The Rules. We had seen them work time and time again in our own lives, in our close circle of girlfriends and an ever-widening circle of friends and acquaintances, as well as coworkers and relatives.

When our phones began ringing off the hook with dating questions and (eventually) success stories, we knew we had to write The Rules in book form to make it available to all women.

Lo and behold, The Rules became not just a best-selling book, but a phenomenon, revolutionizing dating practices both here in America and abroad.

In fact, The Rules became so popular that it achieved a kind of pop culture status. It was spoofed on SaturdayNight Live (Get the ring!), used as the plot for several TV sitcoms, and also inspired a number of parody books including Breaking the Rules (Stare straight at men and talk incessantly) and Rules for Cats (Dont accept a trip to the vet after Wednesday).

Suddenly, The Rules was everywhere! A financial publication ran an article on the rules for investing (Dont buy on Friday if your broker calls after Wednesday) and a political columnist wrote that one presidential candidate might have won the election if he had just tried to be a creature unlike any other.

Why all the fuss? Why all the interest in The Rules when there are dozens of other dating books on the market? Why has The Rules become such a phenomenon?

The answer is simple: The Rules work! Unlike other dating books that are therapeutic and theoreticalthat sound good, that give warm n fuzzy, meaningless, and misleading advice such as be yourself, dont play games,tell a man how you feel, but dont work in real lifeTheRules tell the truth about dating and help you get Mr. Right!

The Rules take the analysis and angst out of dating. Its simple. If he calls you, he likes you. If he doesnt, Next! What does be yourself mean if thats calling a man three times a day or staying on the phone for three hours? Why would anyone want to read a dating book that didnt help you get the man you want to marry you?

Many people ask how we wrote a best-seller. To be honest, we were not trying to. We wrote The Rules to help women date with self-esteem and get married. Period.

While we are naturally thrilled by the success of the book, whats been even more rewarding is seeing how women of all ages and all walks of life use The Rules to love themselves and marry Mr. Right. After three decades of haphazard datingdutch treat, sex on the first date, and living togetherthese women are delighted that such a dating book exists.

I wish I had known about The Rules ten years ago, is the most frequent comment we hear.

TheRules should be given out to all women at birth, wrote another Rules fan.

The book hit a chord not only with single women in their twenties, thirties, and forties, but with mothers and grandmothers. She wont listen to me, maybe shell listen to you, wrote one mom. Another mom told us she gave the book to her daughter and her daughters friends.

While many readers thanked us for the general guidelines provided in The Rules, just as many wrote and called asking for more specific answers to dating situations and problemsfor example, rules for long-distance relationships, rules for getting back an ex-boyfriend, rules for dating a celebrity, rules for dating a coworker, rules for turning a male friend into a boyfriend, rules for dating services and on-line dating, and for advice on how to start a Rules support group, among many other topics.

We wrote The Rules II to answer all these questionsand to clarify any confusion you might have about rules in the first book, such as, How will he know the real me if I do The Rules? and Can I ever call a man?

We have included some success stories in The Rules II that we hope will inspire you to do The Rules. We hope to publish many moreperhaps yours!in the future.

We look forward to your comments, questions, success stories, and wedding invitations!

Ellen and Sherrie

Why The Rules Work

W hy do The Rules work?

Because The Rules are based upon the basic truths of human nature! Everyone wishes we could be more open and honest with men in the early stages of dating or ask men out, but these wishes are pure fantasy. To think men and women should treat each other exactly alike, as platonic friends dodutch treat, even steven, tit for tatis unrealistic. In the romantic world, theres only one way that truly works. The man must be attracted to and then pursue the woman. It simply doesnt work any other way.